more updates & nit fixes

source/posts/2013/01/foot-prints.rst

@@ -1,90 +1,84 @@
-Reflection & footprints in the sand 
-###################
+Reflections & footprints
+########################
 :date: 2013-01-26
 :category: Blog
 :tags: life
 
-.. image:: /static/images/2012/09/river_face_owen.jpg
-   :alt: river face @tallowen in his element
-   :align: left
-   :target: https://picasaweb.google.com/104836188647278518465/SanJuanRiverTrip12?authuser=0&feat=directlink
-
-    He was a wanderer on a prehistoric earth, on an earth that
-    wore the aspect of an unknown planet.
-    But time is the fire in which we burn. We are but a
-    fleeting moment, a footprint at the edge of the rising tide.
-    - ~ `Solitaire`_ (`music`_)
+.. image:: /static/images/2013/01/speak_your_mind.jpg
+   :alt: Winterpark, CO
 
 I am having a quiet evening tonight shuffling through imagery and 
 thoughts of my past and wondering what is next. I didn't sit down 
 tonight with the intent to write this. It just felt right. It felt 
-like it was time to let go and time to move forward. This post is 
-for me. Finally.
+like it was time to let go and move forward. This post is for me. 
+Finally.
+
+    "He was a wanderer on a prehistoric earth, on an earth that
+    wore the aspect of an unknown planet.
+    But time is the fire in which we burn. We are but a
+    fleeting moment, a footprint at the edge of the rising tide." 
+    - `Solitaire`_
 
 Much time has passed since I've felt the healthy untethering of my
 thoughts and a full awakening of a past spirit that was a constant 
 flame in my life. A lot of personal healing and strength over the
-years is culminating and reveling itself in these next moments of my 
+years is culminating and reveling itself in these next steps of my 
 life.
 
-Years have past - 8+ of them - I was young. I had seen lot's of
-suffering in the world, worked in 3rd world clinics, worked with
-displaced children living on the streets, led educational trips to
-Latin America to try to teach my generation that our way of life
-in the United States is one experience. I was enthusiastic and high
-spirited. I lived a fully present life and because of that the world
-opened to me.
+The story is old and I was younger.
+
+Years had past, more than 15 of them. I had seen 
+lot's of suffering and joy in the world; worked in 3rd world clinics, 
+worked with displaced children living on the streets, organized and 
+led service learning abroad trips to Latin America to help people move 
+and learn outside of their comfort zones. I spent time as a backcountry 
+ranger for the Forest Service. I traveled for 2 years and lived out of
+a backpack with the simple intent of experiencing the world and it's
+humanity. I was enthusiastic, a dreamer, and high spirited. I lived a
+fully present life and because of that the world opened to me.
 
 I had seen hope and prosperity in the most unbelievable places and
-moments. At one point I traveled for 2 years and lived out of a
-backpack with the simple intent of experiencing the world and it's
-humanity. I followed an education and career into human services. I
-chose Psychology and had the desire of doing undergraduate work in
-Cognitive Neuroscience. That all changed. Only a few close friends and 
-family members followed me through the fire or remember me from before. 
-
-    I want to be remembered as a woman who tried. Remember me for my
+moments.  
+
+I followed an education and career into human services. I chose
+Psychology and had the desire of doing undergraduate work in developmental 
+cognitive neuroscience. That all changed. Only a few close friends and family
+members followed me through the fire or remember me from before. 
+
+    "I want to be remembered as a woman who tried. Remember me for my
     failures. I have no control over my successes, that is in the hands
-    of others. I want to be remembered for the times I tried and failed,
-    for the times I tried, kept trying, wouldn't give up, and failed.
-    ~ my grandmother
+    and eyes of others. I want to be remembered for the times I tried and 
+    failed, for the times I tried, kept trying, wouldn't give up, and failed." 
+    - my grandmother
 
-At the time I had made my home an isolated corner of South Western
-Colorado working as a councilor at a juvenile detention facility. 
-I worked with children whom were barely hanging on as the system and 
-often their own families eroded their hope for a future. I tried to
-make a difference.
+At the time - 8 years ago - I had made my home in an isolated corner 
+of Southwestern Colorado working as a councilor at a juvenile detention
+facility. I worked with children who were barely hanging on as the 
+system and often their own families eroded their hope for a future. 
+I tried to make a difference.
 
 One evening I watched my supervisor hurt a child and reported him to
-his superiors. I was later terminated because I wouldn't change the 
-incident report that I had written, I wouldn't repress a statement 
+our superiors. I was later terminated because I wouldn't change a 
+report I had written about the incident. I wouldn't remove a statement 
 the child had made, he had fingered the supervisor as an abuser.
 Once the State found out about the incident the agency tried to protect 
 itself through subterfuge and reported that I had failed to report the
 abuse to them. I was unemployable, because of the circumstances I would
 never be allowed to work with children again. I was destroyed.
 
-I sold most of my worldly possessions (mostly outdoor equipment) so I 
-wouldn't become homeless and took menial temp jobs. I sold items and 
-let go of dreams that were my identity.
-
-I fought using the court system for over 5 years to have my name
-cleared so I could continue to empower and embolden the children
-I wanted to work with. I fought and failed. I fought and lost myself
-along the way. I fought and found someone who I now remember from my 
-past. I now have more miles on my body but have the same vibrant
-energy as before.
+I took menial jobs and sold most of my worldly possessions so my 
+partner and I could pay rent and purchase food. I sold items and let 
+go of dreams that were my identity. I fought and struggled to return
+to the work that I wanted to do, to work with children. After more than
+5 years of dealing with lawyers and the despair of the court system 
+I failed, I gave up and pursued a new career.
 
-My intent isn't to relive the nuances of the story. It isn't what I
-want to let go of, because of my story I now do the work that I 
-do, I work in Open Source, I interact with talented and passionate people 
-across the globe real-time on a daily basis, I solve hard technical 
-problems, I am empowered to push technology and people's imaginations
-forward, I am helping write history and make the world better. I don't 
-imagine leaving a place like Mozilla anytime soon but again this is
-only one small part of my story.
+I've been whole for sometime but it wasn't until tonight that it fully dawned
+on me.
 
+I am exploring the world again and relishing in it's warmth. I have more
+miles on my body but I emerged. I am doing work that is worthwhile and
+of consequence. I am of consequence and am helping make the world better.
 
 
-.. Solitaire: http://www.sweetgrass-productions.com/solitaire.html
-.. music: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA71F993C9DD65FE3
+.. _Solitaire: http://www.sweetgrass-productions.com/solitaire.html