Slightly cleanup excuses

xanmel/modules/fun/excuses.py

@@ -1,13 +1,13 @@
 what_happened = [
-    'your aim was off because of',
-    'you were an easy target because of',
-    "you couldn't hit shit because of",
     "the reason of your misfortunes was",
     "you couldn't do better due to",
+    "not quite a good day for you because of",
+    "you screwed up because of",
+    "the reason of your ultimate fail was"
 ]
 
 excuses = [
-    "clock speed",
+    "invalid clock speed",
     "solar flares",
     "electromagnetic radiation from satellite debris",
     "static from nylon underwear",
@@ -38,39 +38,34 @@
     "tectonic stress",
     "piezo-electric interference",
     "dynamic software linking table corrupted",
-    "heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor quickly",
+    "heavy gravity fluctuation",
     "hairdryer plugged into UPS",
     "terrorist activities",
-    "not enough memory",
     "interrupt configuration error",
     "spaghetti cable causing packet failure",
     "bank holiday - system operating credits not recharged",
-    "virus attack, luser responsible",
     "waste water tank overflowed onto computer",
     "complete Transient Lockout",
     "bad ether in the cables",
     "bogon emissions",
     "change in Earth's rotational speed",
-    "cosmic ray particles crashed through the hard disk platter",
+    "cosmic ray particles which crashed through the hard disk platter",
     "smell from unhygienic janitorial staff which wrecked the tape heads",
     "plumber who mistook routing panel for decorative wall fixture",
     "electricians which made popcorn in the power supply",
     "high pressure system failure",
     "computer not properly grounded",
-    "CPU recalibration needed",
-    "system reboot required",
+    "uncalibrated CPU",
     "bit bucket overflow",
-    "descramble code needed from software company",
-    "knot in cables caused data stream to become twisted",
-    "nesting roaches shorted out the ether cable",
-    "you're out of memory",
+    "knot in cables causing data stream to become twisted",
+    "nesting roaches shorting out the ether cable",
     "unoptimized hard drive",
     "Windows 95 undocumented \"feature\"",
     "runt packets",
     "electromagnetic energy loss",
     "budget cuts",
-    "mouse chewed through power cable",
-    "stale file handle (next time use Tupperware(tm)!)",
+    "power cable chewed by a mouse",
+    "stale file handle",
     "internet outage",
     "Pentium FDIV bug",
     "small animal kamikaze attack on power supplies",
@@ -81,10 +76,10 @@
     "network operators on strike due to broken coffee machine",
     "UPS interrupted the server's power",
     "the electrician who didn't know what the yellow cable was so he yanked the ethernet out",
-    "the air conditioning water supply pipe ruptured over the machine room",
+    "the air conditioning water supply pipe rupturing over the machine room",
     "the rolling stones concert down the road which caused a brown out",
     "the monitor plugged into the serial port",
-    "root nameservers out of sync",
+    "root nameservers going out of sync",
     "electro-magnetic pulses from French above ground nuke testing",
     "your keyboard's space bar generating spurious keycodes",
     "the real ttys becoming pseudo ttys and vice-versa",
@@ -146,7 +141,6 @@
     "interference between the keyboard and the chair",
     "too many interrupts",
     "not enough interrupts",
-    # "zombies ate your brain",
     "magic missiles were cast upon you",
     "the last space invader got through",
     "internet police intercepted your connection",
@@ -155,7 +149,7 @@
     "an animal uprising",
     "ghosts",
     "alien probing",
-    "you didn't have the high ground",            # "The data on your hard drive is out of balance",
+    # "The data on your hard drive is out of balance",
     # "Digital Manipulator exceeding velocity parameters",
     # "appears to be a Slow/Narrow SCSI-0 Interface problem",
     # "microelectronic Riemannian curved-space fault in write-only file system",
@@ -331,5 +325,5 @@
     "Better luck next time!",
     "Don't be upset!",
     "Life goes on!",
-    "Don't worry, be happy."
+    "Despair not!"
 ]