Creating this website is an attempt, or step forward towards making myself visible. I want to maintain this website and share myself with the world publicly, because I have been in a shell for a long time and it's no longer working for me.
This personal website will include the following: links to my Linkedin, Github, blog, and other various things I want to make available.
It's important that I learn to express myself and have it be public holds a special sort of accountability. I don't look fondly at that word because I am habitually an intense person who puts in a lot of energy into everything she does. It may sound good, but I hold a special kind of critical lens on myself that I would like to push back on.
There's a lot of trade offs to this kind of attitude, and I would like to put pressure on myself to pursue this endeavor of maintaining this website to my own liking, even if it isn't always to my liking.
In this way, I can reframe accountability and pressure, because these two words have a negative connotation to them.
It's more important that I continue to practice my own craft, and focus on what I can change, rather than fixate on how I'll be perceived by others. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how others feel about me (wait, it does but I'll talk about that another time). What matters is how I feel about myself, especially during moments when I'm alone.
I'm thinking of Fiona Apple's MTV award speech, where she emphasizes that the most imortant thing a person can do is to go with themselves. I take that to heart and focus on going with myself.
My contributions to this repository will reflect on that intention and I look forward to seeing my own progress.
Cheers!