Merge 1588c9e into 05dbf7e

pyjokes/jokes_en.py

@@ -103,6 +103,92 @@
     "I went to a street where the houses were numbered 8k, 16k, 32k, 64k, 128k, 256k and 512k. It was a trip down Memory Lane.",
     "!false, (It's funny because it's true)",
     "['hip', 'hip'] (hip hip array!)",
+    "Girl: Do you drink? Programmer: No. Girl: Have Girlfriend? Programmer: No. Girl: Then how do you enjoy life? Programmer: I am Programmer",
+    "A Programmer was walking out of door for work, his wife said “while you’re out, buy some milk” and he never came home.",
+    "Boss: What is your address? Me: 173.168.15.10 Boss: No, your local address Me: 127.0.01 Boss: I mean your physical address Me: 29:01:38:62:31:58",
+    "Friends: What are you doing tonight? We’re all going clubbing.  Me: Building another stream of income",
+    "How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None – It’s a hardware problem",
+    "Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.",
+    "Knock, knock.  Who’s there?  very long pause….  Java.",
+    "Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.",
+    "There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.",
+    "All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.",
+    "Have you heard about the new Cray super computer?  It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.",
+    "The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.",
+    "I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…",
+    "The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer",
+    "Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.",
+    "I went to a street where the houses were numbered 8k, 16k, 32k, 64k, 128k, 256k and 512k.  It was a trip down Memory Lane.",
+    "If doctors were like software engineers, they would say things like Have you tried killing yourself and being reborn?",
+    "Debugging” is like being the detective in a crime drama where you are also the murderer.",
+    "!false  (It’s funny because it’s true.)",
+    "The best thing about a Boolean is that even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.",
+    "An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks: Can I join you?",
+    "If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?",
+    "Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?  Because they don’t C#.",
+    "When Apple employees die, does their life HTML5 in front of their eyes?",
+    "What did the router say to the doctor?  It hurts when IP.",
+    "Learning JavaScript is like looking both ways before you cross the street, and then getting hit by an airplane.",
+    "I for one am excited for the days when dereferencing a null pointer causes an aneurysm.",
+    "Debugging is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back.",
+    "When your code does not change color automatically, Something's wrong, I can feel it.",
+    "I have a joke on programming but it only works on my computer.",
+    "Why do you always use i and j variales in loops?  It's the law......",
+    "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.",
+    "A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.",
+    "Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature.",
+    "Buy a Pentium 586/200 so you can reboot faster.",
+    "Computer analyst to programmer: You start coding. I'll go find out what they want.",
+    "Computer programmers do it byte by byte.",
+    "Don't compute and drive; the life you save may be your own.",
+    "How an engineer writes a program: Start by debugging an empty file...",
+    "If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.",
+    "I have a dream: 1073741824 bytes free.",
+    "I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.",
+    "Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking.",
+    "Never say 'OOPS!' always say 'Ah, Interesting!'",
+    "One person's error is another person's data.",
+    "Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue....",
+    "Programmer's Time-Space Continuum: Programmers continuously space the time.",
+    "Speed Kills! Use Windows.",
+    "The box said: 'install on Windows 95, NT 4.0 or better'. So I installed it on Linux.",
+    "The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.",
+    "There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.",
+    "There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.",
+    "There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.",
+    "Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach, HACK!",
+    "User error: replace user and press any key to continue.",
+    "Warning, keyboard not found. Press Enter to continue.",
+    "Why do they call this a word processor? It's simple, ... you've seen what food processors do to food, right?",
+    "Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?",
+    "Windows is NOT a virus. Viruses DO something.",
+    "WINDOWS stands for Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.",
+    "You are making progress if each mistake is a new one.",
+    "You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!",
+    "You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.",
+    "You don't have to know how the computer works, just how to work the computer.",
+    "You forgot to do your backup 16 days ago. Tomorrow you'll need that version.",
+    "I love pressing the F5 key. It’s refreshing.",
+    "My favourite computer based band is the Black IPs.",
+    "Why was the developer bankrupt? He’d used all his cache.",
+    "A friend is in a band called 1023Mb. They haven’t had a gig yet."
+    "Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I’ve changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME",
+    "I changed my password to BeefStew but the computer told me it wasn’t Stroganoff.",
+    "Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that’s two week.",
+    "If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?",
+    "Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.",
+    "The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.",
+    "Bugs come in through open Windows.",
+    "Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.",
+    "Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.",
+    "Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.",
+    "Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.",
+    "I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.",
+    "Hey! It compiles! Ship it!",
+    "If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don’t understand the question.",
+    "My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.",
+    "Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.",
+    "There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.",
 ]