Prints fortunes based on DoT railroad casualties reports
rcj@mcflurry🍦:~$ ./morbid-fortune
AS A RESULT OF A PASSENGER FATALITY THIS EMPLOYEE WAS REQUESTED TO LOOK FOR HUMAN REMAINS ALONG THE ROADBED. AS A RESULT OF HIS WORK HE SUFFERED STRESS AFTER HIS ASSIGNMENT.
The data is quite messy (optional fields) so the output could just be wrong. I am using a dumb heuristic to get things that look like long form text (any field with more than eight characters)