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v1.0.0 - Braveheart

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@stevebauman stevebauman released this 27 Sep 13:02
· 24 commits to master since this release

[Imagine a vast open field, with developers, programmers, and enthusiasts gathered around, huddled, waiting eagerly. The atmosphere is thick with anticipation. A stage is set at the front, and a figure steps onto it. The figure, resembling William Wallace, raises his hand and the crowd goes silent.]


Wallace: "Developers of the PHP realm! Today, we stand at the brink of a new era. An era where we shatter the chains of restriction, where we unleash freedom like never before!"

Crowd: [Murmurs of agreement]

Wallace: "For too long, we have been bound by the final keyword, limiting our flexibility, constricting our creativity. But no more!"

Crowd: [Cheers]

Wallace: "Behold! The first 1.0 release of Unfinalize!" [Points to the release URL on a massive banner]

Crowd: [Louder cheers]

Wallace: "With this mighty tool, we shall take back what was once lost. We shall strip away the final chains, and give life to our codes anew!"

Developer: "But what of performance? What of safety?"

Wallace: "Fear not, brave soul! Unfinalize works swiftly, safely, and leaves no lasting burden on our applications. Changes are permanent, and there's no lingering shadow of performance impact!"

Crowd: [Rising excitement]

Wallace: "And what's more, we need not clutter our applications with dependencies. For Unfinalize and its comrades are melded into one, unified phar file!"

Crowd: [Thunderous applause]

Wallace: "To those who still wish to mark the valor of their classes and methods, the @final doc block stands ready!"

Developer: "But, how do we wield this weapon? How do we embrace this freedom?"

Wallace: "Installation is but a simple command away. And with a mere addition to your composer.json, the winds of unfinalization will blow every time you update!"

Crowd: [Shouts of joy]

Wallace: "Today, we do not just release a package. We release freedom! We release potential! Let the world know, that they may use the final keyword, but they can never take... OUR FREEDOM!"