add poetry

Signed-off-by: vsoch <vsoch@users.noreply.github.com>

_posts/2024/2024-03-02-seventeen-years.md

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+---
+title: "Seventeen Years"
+date: 2024-03-02 10:00:00
+hidden: true
+---
+
+
+Sometimes when we look for self <br>
+Or hope our eyes take in the light <br>
+We search for meaning on an empty shelf. <br>
+And wake up in the cold, black night. <br>
+
+When our soul is stumbling and lost <br>
+We try to survive, day by day, <br>
+But we find there is too much cost <br>
+To the understanding to make it OK. <br>
+
+We imagine a warmth to hold <br>
+And for a peaceful sleep. <br>
+But the hospital is cold. <br>
+And our dreams are not ours to keep. <br>
+
+The rules of the world are shattered <br>
+They no longer apply to you. <br>
+All the things you thought had mattered. <br>
+Are strangely gone and defined anew. <br>
+
+When we look and do not find. <br>
+When we hope and do not see. <br>
+What is left is strength of mind. <br>
+We still have what might come to be. <br>
+
+Seventeen years <br>
+Have come to pass <br>
+More than half a lifetime, <br>
+Of strength amassed. <br>
+
+But resilience and strength <br>
+Does not come from external source <br>
+It eminates deeply <br>
+As life endures its course <br>
+
+Once, thrice, six times stuck down. <br>
+The monsters that I fought <br>
+Were not the physical pains <br>
+But the monster in my head. <br>
+That I had to feign. <br>
+
+<div style="padding:20px">
+   <img src="{{ site.baseurl }}/assets/images/posts/surgery/surgery-2007.jpg">
+</div>

_posts/2024/2024-03-08-alone.md

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+---
+title: "Alone"
+date: 2024-03-08 10:00:00
+hidden: true
+---
+
+
+Where am I supposed to go <br>
+When all of my joy, life experience, lives in my head? <br>
+I am equally blissful yet alone at the same time. <br>
+Immersing in the ideas that I love, <br>
+and am hungry for learning and challenge. <br>
+Pushing the limits of a human potential <br>
+Believing that a day is not well-lived <br>
+If it is not sucked dry of every possible challenge <br>
+that might come to my awareness at that time. <br>
+
+You'll find me in front of a screen <br>
+absorbed in thinking about systems and design <br>
+and lost in a terminal and my own head. <br>
+There is no greater place of flow and joy <br>
+than disconnected from the world in that space. <br>
+But you'll find me also, much later <br>
+In the quiet of my room, looking around. <br>
+Realizing that I am entirely alone. <br>
+And the same intensity of focus and joy <br>
+and desire to think about things fully, deeply <br>
+Overhwelms others, and pushes them away. <br>
+
+It is hard to consoldiate those two things <br>
+and I often feel like I have to choose. <br>
+To be true to my authentic self, and embark <br>
+on every intellectual journey and challenge <br>
+and visciously, attacking sources of knowledge, <br>
+eating through information with 1000 hungers. <br>
+Or to stifle that desire, for the comfort of others.<br>
+so they might not leave me <br>
+so they might think they understand me <br>
+so they might even love me, and stay. <br>
+so I might be here, right now, <br>
+and not be alone. <br>
+
+I must have made that choice. <br>
+That being true to myself comes above all else. <br>
+And coming with that, that I choose to be alone <br>
+and live the life of a loner, a misunderstood flame <br>
+lost in my head, and diminishing the needs of my heart. <br>
+Or it must be the case, that finding someone else <br>
+that might love this about me, is an impossible task. <br>
+Either way, the outcome is the same. <br>
+
+I must have made that choice, <br>
+because here I am, in the middle of my life, <br>
+In the darkness of the evening,  <br>
+In the quiet space of an apartment empty of others <br>
+Wanting so badly to discuss ideas, the wonders <br>
+of the universe, of people, and everything in between, <br>
+But the realization hits hard, and briefly, <br>
+because I will soon start thinking again. <br>
+But in this brief moment, I must recognize. <br>
+That I am always alone. <br>
+