add the No Complaining Rule

README.md

@@ -6,4 +6,5 @@ Happiness
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 * [10 instant tips to be happier now](https://github.com/workingBen/dont-forget-this-shit/blob/master/happiness/10_instant_tips.md)
+* [The No Complaining Rule](https://github.com/workingBen/dont-forget-this-shit/blob/master/happiness/no_complaining_rule.md)
 

happiness/no_complaining_rule.md

@@ -0,0 +1,71 @@
+# The No Complaining Rule
+
+WHY do we need THE RULE: Successful, positive companies with positive employees and positive cultures are created like anything else. Through a set of principles, processes, systems, and habits that are ingrained in the corporate culture and each individual employee. Positive companies aren't born. They are developed.   
+We must relentlessly make our company culture and people a priority at all levels of the organization. It's like the root and fruit of a tree. The root, which is our culture, people, and spirit must be our focus. Instead of focusing so much on the fruit--profits, shipping products, hitting numbers--let's relentlessly nurture our root. If we do this, we will be very pleased with our fruit.
+
+Research shows that 90% of complaining is mindless complaining, where no reasonable solution exists for the complaint. For example, "Today Sucks."
+Mindless complaining focuses on problems whereas justified complaining focuses on solutions.
+This rule generates the kind of positive energy and culture that attracts higher caliber employees who want to work in a positive environment. It also helps weed out negative employees since they just don't fit anymore.
+
+THE RULE: Employees are not allowed to mindlessly complain to their coworkers. If they have a problem or complaint about their job, their company, their customer, or anything else, they are encouraged to bring the issue to the manager or someone who is in a position to address the complaint. Howerver, the employees must share one or two possible solutions to their complaint as well.
+
+### The Cost of Negativity
+
+* Negativity costs the US between $250 and $300 billion every year in lost productivity, according to the Gallup Organization. This is conservative, as it only accounts for the direct loss of productivity in time lost, not considering the ripple effect of complaining and negativity.
+* Ninety percent of doctor visits are stress related, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The #1 cause of stress is coworkers and complaining, according to polls. More positive workplaces have genuinely less sick people.
+* A study found that negative employees scare off both customers and potential employees.
+* Negativity affects the morale, performace, and productivity of our teams.
+* One negative person can create a miserable office environment for everyone else.
+* Numerous studies show that negativity is associated with: decreased life span, increased risk of heart attack, increased risk of stroke, greater stress, less energy, more physical pain, fewer friends, and less success.
+
+### Three No Complaining Tools
+
+1. The But -> Positive Technique
+  - This simple strategy helps you turn your complaints into positive thoughts, solutions and actions. It works like this. When you realize you are complaining, you simply add the word <i>but</i> and then add a positive thought or positive action. Example: "I dont like driving to work for an hour <i>but</i> I'm thankful I have a job to drive to and a car to drive there in."
+2. Focus on "Get To" instead of "Have to"
+  - Too often we complain and focus on what we <i>have</i> to do. We say things like "I have to go to work" "I have to drive here" "I have to do this." Instead, shift your perspective and relize it's not about having to do anything. You get to do things. You get to live this life. You get to go to work whle so many others are unemployed. Focus on what you get to do. Focus on feeling blessed instead of stressed. Focus on gratitude.
+3. Turn Complaints into Solutions
+  - The goal is not to eliminate all complaining. The intent is to eliminate the kind of mindless complaining that doesn't serve a greater purpose and allow compalining that is justified and worthwhle. The opposite of mindless complaining is justified complaining. The former is negative and the latter is positive. The difference is intent. With <i>mindless complaining</i>, you are mindlessly focusing on problems; however, with <i>justified complaining</i> you identify a problem and the complaint moves you toward a solution. Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive.
+
+### Five Things to Do Instead of Complain
+
+1. Practice Gratitude
+  - Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It's also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. Two thoughts cannot occupy our mind at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can't be negative. You can also energize and engage your coworkers by letting them know you are grateful for them and their lives.
+2. Praise Others
+  - Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result. Of courese, point out their mistakes so they can learn and grow, but make sure you give three times as much praise as criticism.
+3. Focus on Success
+  - Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great converstaion, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success and you'll look forward to creating more success tomorrow.
+4. Let Go
+  - Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. You'll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out.
+5. Meditate
+  - Scientific research shows that daily practices reduce stress; boost positive energy; and promote health, vitality, and longevity. When you are faced with the urge to complain or you are feeling stressed to the max, stop, be still, plug-in tot he ultimate power of meditation, and recharge.
+
+### No Complaining Week
+The goal of No Complaining Week is to become aware of how negative our thoughts and words cna be. The objective is to eliminate mindless complaining and negative thoughts as much as possible by replacing them with posistive thoughts and positive habits.
+
+REMEMBER: For the entire week you should not complain. If you have a complaint, voice it in a positive light **paired with at least one or two possible solutions.
+
+Day 1: Monitor Your Thoughts and Words
+  - You'll be amazed at the thoughts that pop into your head and come out of your mouth. The key is to become more conscious of what you think and say. 
+Day 2: Make a Gratitude List
+  - In a positive tone, objectively compare this workplace with your previous ones. Write a list of things you are thankful for here at OkCupid Labs. When you find yourself wanting to complain, focus on what you are grateful for instead. 
+Day 3: Take a Thank-You Walk
+  - Take a walk, thinking of all the things you are grateful for. Try to remember the state of gratitude throughout the day after the walk.
+Day 4: Focus on the Good Stuff
+  - Today, focus on everything that if right, rather than wrong. Focus on what others are doing right, not wrong. Praise instead of criticize. Focus on what you <i>get</i> to do instead of <i>have</i> to do.
+Day 5: Start a Success Journal
+  - Before you go to bed, write down the great interactions and accomplishments for the day. Use that as fuel for a more relaxed sleep and more fruitful following day.
+Day 6: Let Go
+  - Make a list of all the things you would like to complain about. Go through the list and identify things that are within your control. Identify possible solutions for any complaint under your control, and write <i>surrender</i> next to items beyond your control.
+Day 7: Breathe
+  - Spend 10 minutes in silence. Focus on your breathing while meditating to transfor stress into positive energy. Throughout the day, anytime you find yourself stressed or wanting to complain, stop for 10 seconds and breathe deeply.
+
+During the week keep a "Complaint Shoebox" where any legitimate complaint should be filed for review at the end of the week. Include a possible solution for any complaint added to the Complaint Box.
+
+--------
+Book: http://www.jongordon.com/thenocomplainingrule.html
+Authored by: Jon Gordon
+
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+
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