[Fixes #109] Add a slap command. Get slapped, you memes.

bot.rb

@@ -97,7 +97,7 @@
     c.plugins.prefix = botprefix
 
     # Load modules.
-    c.plugins.plugins = [Misc, Minecraft, Owner, Restart, RandomCat, MemeDB, Quotes, NickServ, InviteToJoin, Bitcoin, About, English, Emoji, Food, Grammar, Formatting, BaseS4, GitHub, Google, Cleverbot, Channel, Language, Replace, Streams, Music, Stats]
+    c.plugins.plugins = [Misc, Minecraft, Owner, Restart, RandomCat, MemeDB, Quotes, NickServ, InviteToJoin, Bitcoin, About, English, Emoji, Food, Grammar, Formatting, BaseS4, GitHub, Google, Cleverbot, Channel, Language, Replace, Streams, Music, Stats, Attack]
   end
 end
 

plugins/attack.rb

@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+class Attack
+  include Cinch::Plugin
+
+  match /slap (.+)/, method: :slap
+
+  def slap(m, user)
+    user.delete!(' ')
+    item = [
+      'cast iron skillet', 'large trout', 'baseball bat', 'cricket bat', 'wooden cane', 'nail', 'printer', 'shovel', 'pair of trousers', 'diamond sword', 'baguette', 'physics textbook', 'toaster', 'portrait of Ron Swanson', 'television', 'mau5head', 'five ton truck', 'roll of duct tape', 'book', 'laptop', 'old television', 'sack of rocks', 'rainbow trout', 'cobblestone block', 'lava bucket', 'rubber chicken', 'spiked bat', 'gold block', 'fire extinguisher', 'heavy rock', 'chunk of dirt'
+    ].sample
+    throws = %w[throws flings chucks].sample
+    hits = %w[hits whacks slaps smacks].sample
+    where = ['in the chest', 'on the head', 'on the bum'].sample
+    templates = [
+      "#{hits} #{user} with a #{item}.",
+      "#{hits} #{user} around a bit with a #{item}.",
+      "#{throws} a #{item} at #{user}.",
+      "#{throws} a few #{item}s at #{user}.",
+      "grabs a #{item} and #{throws} it in #{user}'s face.",
+      "launches a #{item} in #{user}'s general direction.",
+      "sits on #{user}'s face while slamming a #{item} into their crotch.",
+      "starts slapping #{user} silly with a #{item}.",
+      "holds #{user} down and repeatedly #{hits} them with a #{item}.",
+      "prods #{user} with a #{item}.",
+      "picks up a #{item} and #{hits} #{user} with it.",
+      "ties #{user} to a chair and #{throws} a #{item} at them.",
+      "#{hits} #{user} #{where} with a #{item}.",
+      "ties #{user} to a pole and whips them with a #{item}."
+    ].sample
+    m.reply Format(:italic, templates)
+  end
+end