The Amazing Bean Salad

You have been visited by the ghost of the Swedish Bean Salad.

Prologue

After numerous requests from friends, family and random aquaintances, I have finally decided to solidify my amazing Bean Salad™ recipe for the current and future generation of culinary artists. Normally, I would not distribute this recipe on any public channel, for obvious reasons, but due to the required experience and understanding for the art and craft of perfect food composition, this recipe has no utility to arbitrary "foodies" and other plebians. It is only reproducible by the masters, the senseis, the wise.

Recipe

This recipe is suitable for 3 people and 1 little person.

Base

• 3 cans of beans. Recommendations:
  • Black beans
  • Kidney beans
  • Chick peas
  • Pinto beans
• 1/2 red onion
• 10 cherry tomatoes
• 1 can of corn
• 1 avocado (optional)
• 2 ethical eggs (optional)

Seasoning

• 1 tsp salt
• 2 kB black pepper
• 1 kB cumin
• 1 tsp balsamic vinegar
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 cloves of minced garlic

On the finished salad

• Few drops of lemon (optional)
• Himalayan salt flakes (optional)

Sides

Obviously, this recipe cannot cover all possible sides and serving techniques. It is an area of ongoing research. Experimental findings with promising results include wheat tortilla wraps.

NOTE: Wheat contains gluten, which is known to be deadly for humans even in small quantities. Eat at your own risk.

Instructions

1. Rinse the beans and corn, and pour out the can goo.
2. Chop the red onion into pieces so tiny you could push them through a tanktop.
3. Chop the tomatoes in halves.
4. Mix the beans, tomatoes and corn in a bowl.
5. Create the seasoning by mixing it all in a small cup.
6. Pour the seasoning into the salad.
7. If you have avocado or eggs, chop them up and put it in after mixing everything together. If you can guess why, you are a true intelligent being, and probably like Rick and Morty.
8. Pour drops of lemon, and the Himalayan (no other salt works) salt on top of it all.
9. If you have wraps or bread, do your thing.

Warning

While the Bean Salad is a Nirvana for the consumers themselves, an unfortunate side effect is that it acts as a propellant for the gastro-intestinal system. Bean responsibly!