Permanently add healthy, habitual behaviors to your life.
- ISBN: 9781494882273
When the problem arose for us whether habit or theory was better for getting virtue -- if by theory is meant what teach us correct conduct, and by habit we mean being accustomed to act according to this theory -- Musonius though habit to be more effective.
-Musonius Rufus, Lectures, 5.17.31-32, 5.19.1-2
- We are quick to blame ourselves for lack of progress but slow to blame our strategies
- doing a little bit is infinitely bigger and better than doing nothing
- doing a little bit every day has greater impact than doing a lot on one day
- With the right knowledge and strategy to change, convulted and impossible become straightforward and possible
- A mini habit is a VERY small positive behavior that you force yourself to do every day
- A mini habit is basically a much smaller version of a new habit you want to perform
- A small amount of willpower forces us to perform mini habits daily
- Proper mindset - “too small to fail” practically guarantees daily success
- Positive feedback loop of always attainable target increases self-efficacy
- Reduce internal resistance to change
- Leverage small steps into habits built upon consistency
- Feel unstoppable rather than unstartable
- Create and strengthen specific neural pathways with repetition
- Avoid negative feedback loop
- bad habits -> stress -> more bad habits -> more stress...
- 2 keys to habit change: Repetition and Reward
- Repetition is the language of the unconscious brain (ie. repeat it to remember it)
- The subconscious brain loves efficiency and learns to automate frequent tasks
- The brain will resist change unless those changes reward the brain
- The goal in creating habits is to change the brain with repetition
- Repetition is the language of the unconscious brain (ie. repeat it to remember it)
- The brain changes slowly over time
- This is a good thing, otherwise we could wake up a different person each day
- This can be frustrating when attempting to learn
- The only way to create habits is to teach the rest of the brain to like what the prefrontal cortex wants.
- The Basal Ganglia
- understands “what is”
- recognizes and efficiently repeats patterns until told otherwise
- not conscious or aware of higher-level goals
- plays a central role in habit formation and procedural learning
- lots of stamina (ex: long-distance marathon runner)
- The Prefrontal Cortex
- focuses on “what could be”
- understands long-term benefits and consequences
- conscious of higher-level goals (a trait unique to humans)
- has the ability to override the basal ganglia
- short-term thinking and decision making
- the conscious part of the brain identified as “you”
- minimal stamina (ex: sprinter)
Motivation is an unreliable strategy for lasting change. "Getting motivated" dominates self-help literature despite being completely ineffective long term. If getting motivated if your strategy, you can't build habits, since habits require consistent repetition. Motivation is unreliable and inconsistent because it's based on how you feel, and we've known for centuries that human feelings are fluid and unpredictable. Anything dependent on human emotion is completely unreliable. Motivation is like building a house on liquid. Motivation is not easy to cultivate on demand since it's hard to change your feelings by thinking. Often we don't want to get motivated, so if you don't want to get motivated, and getting motivated was your strategy for doing things, then you've lost the battle before it has begun. A destructive habit to have is believing that you have to be motivated to act; this idea that motivation preceeds action can become deeply ingrained into a person's psyche. As a behavior begins its transition into habit, you will become less emotional about it. The act of performing a habit is curiously emotionless. Lack of enthusiasm after some time is counterintuitively a positive sign that control is moving to the more stable and automated basal ganglia.
While willpower is the best strategy, most people don't know how to use it and drain their willpower reserves quickly. By using willpower, motivation becomes more reliable; motivation comes fast when you take action first. Willpower is extremely reliable and can be strengthened like a muscle. Thus, we can strengthen our ability to improve ourselves. Using willpower, you can schedule an activity and do it whether you are motivated at the time or not. We've got to maximize our self-control reserves to be effective at changing ourselves. Ego depletion essentially means the same thing as willpower or self-control depletion.
- Effort
- Perceived Difficulty
- Negative Affect
- Subjective Fatigue
- Blood Glucose Levels
Smart willpower management is key to personal development as smart money management is key to financial success. If you don't plan your action strategy out, you'll flip-flop between poor willpower and motivation strategies, and end up frustrated.
Take 1 to 4 "stupid small" strategic actions every day. These actions are too small to fail, and too small to skip for special occasions. They serve dual purposes:
- To spark you to do more
- To become (mini) habits
"one small step" + "desired behavior" = "high probability of further steps"
People who feel like winners act like winners. Nothing is more motivating and inspiring than seeing yourself take action.
When it comes to activites that require physical or mental effort, it's extremely common to overestimate how difficult they are. By starting small and thus entering the reality of doing the work, your mind will see that one small step is not as difficult as it first seemed, and that taking the next step isn't difficult either. You will eventually form a comfortable habit of taking that first step into a new behavior.
The common way people go about this change is diving in and trying a "whatever it takes to succeed" strategy. This is like sprinting well outside of your comfort circle and fighting to stay there. That's when your subconscious brain says, "this is interesting, but I'm really uncomfortable with this huge change," and it forces you back inside your comfort circle when your motivation and willpower can no longer support you out there. Your brain is like a cat in the snow; spring massive changes on it and it will run back to its comfortable routines. But introduce changes gently and in small doses, and it just might be curious (not scared) to explore them more. Your brain is programmed to resist change, but most of that resistance comes at two particular moments:
- Resistance before action: starting is the hardest part, but that doesn't mean it has to be hard to start. "Hardest" is relative. When the first action is just a nudge, initial resistance shrinks.
- Resistance to do more: if you're ever in a situation where you'd like to do more than your minimum requirement, simply continue to use small steps (if necessary). But do not come to expect this every time. Your requirement is small for all the reasons we're discussing! You don't want to jeopardize your long-term success for short-term gain.
The brain resists big changes. The prefrontal cortex has a spending allowance before the automatic part takes over. For every task, the subconscious brain looks at what you're asking of it and charges you willpower to get into the control room. You're only allowed to ask for so much manual control per day. Mini habits are low-willpower Trojan horses that can leverage their easy access into the brain's control room into big results. The perfect team in personal development is small steps and willpower. As long as you have enough willpower for an action, you can take that action. Small steps require little to no willpower. So it's like having unlimited willpower. You can get yourself to do just about anything if you guide yourself along in super small steps. Try it. Many times when you're tired, engaging your mind or body will take you up.
Mini habits don't have a specific end date, because we don't know how long it will take to form the habit. Instead, we'll look for signs that the behavior is a habit.
Mini habits increase your self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to influence an outcome. Lacking the baseline self-efficacy required for success, however, is extremely common in people who suffer from depression, weak willpower, and repeated failures. If you expect to fail, positive results are hard to come by. Mini habits are a self-efficacy-generating machine, and importantly, you can get started successfully with zero self-efficacy. Mini habits double as training for believing in yourself. Your brain latches on to any repetition you throw at it. So a problem many people develop is an expectation of failing to reach their goals. Over time, this crushes their self-efficacy because it's hard to believe the next time will be different (especially if you're using the same strategy that failed last time). Mini habits are the perfect way to start over. No longer will you be intimidated by massive goals. No longer will you be attacked with feelings of guilt and inadequacy for falling short. No, this time you're going to be succeeding on a daily basis. The victories may be small, but one small victory to a defeated mind is a big victory. The downfall of many self-help books is that they'll say you have to sweat blood to get what you want in life. Well, isn't sweating blood a sign that a part of you really doesn't like it? Wouldn't you rather treat yourself well in the process of changing into a better person?
A habit is the strongest behavioral foundation a human can have. Habits can be built stronger and higher.
These things are best conquered by action. Taking the first step kills fear over time, if not immediately. Fear can't exist if you've experienced something and it wasn't scary. Mini habits are perfectly suited for any mood or situation. You can be happy and motivated, tired and depressed, or even sick, and still complete your mini habits and possibly more. Mini habits expose you to your doubts and fears in a way that feels safe and empowering. Whatever you've been wanting to do will become possible.
One of the most important skills a person can develop is mindfullness, which is being aware of what you think and do. Being mindful is the difference between living purposefully and going through the motions. You will simultaneously and naturally develop a mindfullness habit, which will help with all future habit modification (including bad habits). Frequent repetition of small tasks is the ideal way to "exercise" the willpower muscle. The stronger your willpower, the greater mastery you'll have over your body. Many people are slaves to their bodies, responding to every feeling and whim. They believe they can't do things if they don't want to do them at the time.
Mini habits are designed to change your brain and your life from the inside out. You'll have no choice but to believe when it starts happening. Over time, your subconscious mind will change, and it gets easier to change your behavior from there.
- Never, Ever Cheat
- It doesn't matter that your goal is small. You're training your brain for success and building up a smaller version of what you hope to accomplish someday.
- Don't raise your expectations, expect little and you'll have the hunger to do more. "Secretly" requiring more requires more willpower to meet.
- Be Happy with All Progress
- Be happy, but never satisfied.
- Mini habits are a pretty simle brain trick at the core, but also a life philosophy that values starting, letting action precede motivation, and believing that small steps can accumulate into giant leaps forward.
- Reward Yourself Often, Especially After a Mini Habit
- Since most healthy behaviors offer limited reward now and greater long-term rewards, it's helpful to attach some form of encouragement to the activity in the early stages. Starting is the hardest part, both in the moment and in the early days of habit-building. Initially, you will see limited results.
- Your reward is going to pay you back by encouraging you to perform your mini habit again. Ultimately, this creates a positive feedback loop. You will get "addicted" to living a great life.
- Stay Level-Headed
- Aim for a calm mindset and trust in the process. The calm mindset is the best mindset for building habits because it's steady and predictable.
- Reliance on emotions such as motivation is what foils many personal development plans.
- The difference betweeen winners and losers is that the losers quit when things get boring and monotonous. It's not about motivation; it's about leveraging and conserving your willpower to form lifelong good habits.
- If You Feel Strong Resistance, Back Off & Go Smaller
- "Stupid small" steps slide under the brain's resistance radar.
- If resistance is strong, progressively take smaller and smaller steps until the resistance is minimal.
- Burnout is willpower exhaustion - it happens when people force themselves to do too much for too long.
- Remind Yourself How Easy This Is
- Our brains have been trained incorrectly with societal norms, limiting beliefs, and overwhelming goals. You can actually do this.
- Mini habits make you believe that adding healthy behaviors is easy.
- The bar is so low, it's impossible to lose. When you never lose, you tend to win.
- Never Think a Step is Too Small
- Every big project is made of small steps.
- Small steps are sometimes the only way to move forward if you have weak willpower.
- Put Extra Energy and Ambition Toward Bonus Reps, Not a Bigger Requirement
- Bigger requirements look good on paper, but only action counts.
- Be the person with emarrassing goals and impressive results (instead of one of the many people with impressive goals and embarrassing results).