release-23.1: kv: prioritize errors in UpdateStateOnRemoteRetryableErr

[nvanbenschoten]

Backport 2/2 commits from #109510.

Release justification: bug fix.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

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Fixes #108853.

This commit adds logic in TxnCoordSender.UpdateStateOnRemoteRetryableErr to prioritize retryable errors based on their ErrorPriority, such that lower priority errors cannot clobber state transitions performed by higher priority errors. This ensures that if a transaction is handed a transaction aborted error and then later a transaction retry error, the latter does not cause the transaction to exit an ABORTED state.

Release note (bug fix): Fixed a bug that could cause a transaction performing multiple parallel foreign key checks to return a concurrent txn use detected error.

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Patches should only be created for serious issues or test-only changes.
• Patches should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Patches should change as little code as possible.
• Patches should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Patches should not add new functionality.
• Patches must not add, edit, or otherwise modify cluster versions; or add version gates.

If some of the basic criteria cannot be satisfied, ensure that the exceptional criteria are satisfied within.

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters.
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.

Add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this backport.

Some other things to consider:

• What did we do to ensure that a user that doesn’t know & care about this backport, has no idea that it happened?
• Will this work in a cluster of mixed patch versions? Did we test that?
• If a user upgrades a patch version, uses this feature, and then downgrades, what happens?

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is 

[yuzefovich]

Should we merge this to get it into 23.1.10?

[yuzefovich]

blathers backport 23.1.10

[blathers-crl]

Encountered an error creating backports. Some common things that can go wrong:

1. The backport branch might have already existed.
2. There was a merge conflict.
3. The backport branch contained merge commits.

You might need to create your backport manually using the backport tool.

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error getting backport branch release-23.1.10: unexpected status code: 404 Not Found

Backport to branch 23.1.10 failed. See errors above.

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