fix(gatsby): close parcel cache db before clearing cache and retrying

[pieh]

Description

Windows crashes hard when you try to move/delete files that are opened. In this case our typescript retry mechanism is causing to hit this issue because Parcel's cache remains alive.

This PR allow us to control the cache life, by passing cache instance explicitly instead of relying on the default. This allows us to close DB connection which removes open handle to db file and allow us to delete those files without errors

Please note that while working on this I discovered some issues with modules that throw on import time. There is runtime parcel require cache that seems to not throw anymore on consecutive imports of problematic modules - instead those are imported as empty objects. In practice it means that we might not show proper errors for this kind of problems, until it's resolved in Parcel

Related Issues

Fixes #36371

[tyhopp]

Looks good to me! Even after the upstream issue is fixed it's probably useful we have access to our own instantiated cache like this.

There are a couple new failures in the Windows tests after merging in the latest from master that seem legit (do we need to change any of the setup/teardown introduced in #36343?)

Windows tests: https://app.circleci.com/pipelines/github/gatsbyjs/gatsby/85107/workflows/e6e3213c-9150-4498-8686-f7ba94734b08/jobs/1019361