StatefulSet Autodelete owner references should respect controller

[mattcary]

What happened?

StatefulSet owner references don't set or respect the controller flag.

That should either be used, preferably through controller-runtime/controllerutil as is used in controllers like RabbitMq, crunchy postgres and Neo4jCluster.

We have observed these controllers being used on stateful sets. We haven't seen any reports of controller contention problems but the potential is there.

This should delay GA promotion of the statefulset autodelete feature (kubernetes/enhancements#1847).

/assign @mattcary
/sig apps

What did you expect to happen?

n/a

How can we reproduce it (as minimally and precisely as possible)?

n/a

Anything else we need to know?

No response

Kubernetes version

n/a

Cloud provider

OS version

# On Linux:
$ cat /etc/os-release
# paste output here
$ uname -a
# paste output here

# On Windows:
C:\> wmic os get Caption, Version, BuildNumber, OSArchitecture
# paste output here

Install tools

Container runtime (CRI) and version (if applicable)

Related plugins (CNI, CSI, ...) and versions (if applicable)

[mattcary]

/triage accepted

[mattcary]

/cc @msau42

[mattcary]

Hmm, I don't see controller-runtime used in k8s. What's in pkg/controller/controller_utils.go doesn't seem appropriate so I guess I'll just roll it manually.