[ci] run r-package Linux jobs in containers

[jameslamb]

Follow-up to #5288 (especially #5288 (comment)).
Contributes to #5640.

Proposes the following:

• running the R 4.x r-package Linux jobs in an ubuntu:22.04 container
• running the R 3.6 r-package Linux jobs in an ubuntu:18.04 container
• failing Linux and macOS CI builds if the R version used during tests was different from what was expected

This will help isolate those jobs from changes like #5186, and from accidentally relying on the many things GitHub Actions bundles into its VM images (e.g. click here to see what's in ubuntu-22.04).

Also happy to say this led to the discovery of a few other bugs in LightGBM!

• [ci] [R-package] incorrect R version being used on some R-package CI jobs #5640
• LightGBM is incompatible with older versions of CMake #5642

How I tested this

Manually checked the logs of the r-package tests to ensure that R CMD check was really run, and that overall no new issues were introduced by these changes.

Also ran some builds that intentionally set modified the "are we using the expected version of R?" check to ensure that new check would really cause a CI failure.

[github-actions]

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