docs/devel: try and improve the language around patch review

It is important that contributors take the review process seriously
and we collaborate in a respectful way while avoiding personal
attacks. Try and make this clear in the language.

Signed-off-by: Alex Bennée <alex.bennee@linaro.org>
Reviewed-by: Markus Armbruster <armbru@redhat.com>
Reviewed-by: Stefan Hajnoczi <stefanha@redhat.com>
Reviewed-by: Paolo Bonzini <pbonzini@redhat.com>
Reviewed-by: Philippe Mathieu-Daudé <philmd@linaro.org>
Message-Id: <20221117172532.538149-8-alex.bennee@linaro.org>

docs/devel/submitting-a-patch.rst

@@ -434,14 +434,20 @@ developers will identify bugs, or suggest a cleaner approach, or even
 just point out code style issues or commit message typos. You'll need to
 respond to these, and then send a second version of your patches with
 the issues fixed. This takes a little time and effort on your part, but
-if you don't do it then your changes will never get into QEMU. It's also
-just polite -- it is quite disheartening for a developer to spend time
-reviewing your code and suggesting improvements, only to find that
-you're not going to do anything further and it was all wasted effort.
+if you don't do it then your changes will never get into QEMU.
+
+Remember that a maintainer is under no obligation to take your
+patches. If someone has spent the time reviewing your code and
+suggesting improvements and you simply re-post without either
+addressing the comment directly or providing additional justification
+for the change then it becomes wasted effort. You cannot demand others
+merge and then fix up your code after the fact.
 
 When replying to comments on your patches **reply to all and not just
 the sender** -- keeping discussion on the mailing list means everybody
-can follow it.
+can follow it. Remember the spirit of the :ref:`code_of_conduct` and
+keep discussions respectful and collaborative and avoid making
+personal comments.
 
 .. _pay_attention_to_review_comments: