[filerstore] avoid mysqld 8.0 deadlocks

[kmlebedev]

Describe the bug

mysqld deadlocks cause complete sticking of filers.

System Setup
Install cluster seaweedfs and pxc

x3 weed 3.58
x3 pxc 8.0.34

run warp

warp put --duration 30m --concurrent=8 --host=192.168.1.1:8333,192.168.1.2:8333,192.168.1.2:8333 --noclear --obj.size 10KiB --md5 --host-select=roundrobin

Additional context

SHOW ENGINE INNODB STATUS;
first insert active file 1854.nLO2HWqgc(SaDhNk.rnd

---TRANSACTION 6195869, ACTIVE 216 sec
mysql tables in use 1, locked 1
2 lock struct(s), heap size 1128, 1 row lock(s), undo log entries 1
MySQL thread id 155, OS thread handle 140489365198592, query id 29633 192.168.1.1 seaweedfs wsrep: replicating and certifying write set(-1)
INSERT INTO `filemeta` (`dirhash`,`name`,`directory`,`meta`) VALUES(4592385983745796278,'1854.nLO2HWqgc(SaDhNk.rnd','/buckets/benchmark-01/M52KkLgq',_binary'\Z7���� �������*�spaYBCR2TdYdqCWWdRSkCA==:\r����Ν����LUw\"+������ᦫ���� ��(��0�ᦫ�r�����$vM���%�u���')

second update locked file 1854.nLO2HWqgc(SaDhNk.rnd

---TRANSACTION 6195878, ACTIVE 46 sec starting index read
mysql tables in use 1, locked 1
LOCK WAIT 2 lock struct(s), heap size 1128, 1 row lock(s)
MySQL thread id 168, OS thread handle 140491468752640, query id 32705 192.168.1.1 seaweedfs updating
UPDATE `filemeta` SET `meta` = _binary'\Z7���� ����ʮ���*�spaYBCR2TdYdqCWWdRSkCA==:\r����ӝ����Š\Z\"+������⦫���� ��(��0�⦫�r�����$vM���%�u���' WHERE `dirhash` = 4592385983745796278 AND `name` = '1854.nLO2HWqgc(SaDhNk.rnd' AND `directory` = '/buckets/benchmark-01/M52KkLgq'
------- TRX HAS BEEN WAITING 46 SEC FOR THIS LOCK TO BE GRANTED:
RECORD LOCKS space id 5 page no 71181 n bits 88 index PRIMARY of table `seaweedfs`.`filemeta` trx id 6195878 lock_mode X locks rec but not gap waiting
Record lock, heap no 22 PHYSICAL RECORD: n_fields 6; compact format; info bits 0
 0: len 8; hex bfbb6eb880a6a8b6; asc   n     ;;
 1: len 25; hex 313835342e6e4c4f32485771676328536144684e6b2e726e64; asc 1854.nLO2HWqgc(SaDhNk.rnd;;
 2: len 6; hex 0000005e8a9d; asc    ^  ;;
 3: len 7; hex 82000001450110; asc     E  ;;
 4: len 30; hex 2f6275636b6574732f62656e63686d61726b2d30312f4d35324b6b4c6771; asc /buckets/benchmark-01/M52KkLgq;;
 5: len 30; hex 1a371880900320e884f5c28bababce172a18737061594243523254645964; asc  7              * spaYBCR2TdYd; (total 102 bytes);

[kmlebedev]

Add dsn for set writeTimeout #5060

[kmlebedev]

The problem is not reproducible on MySQL 5.7