fix: use self hosted runners

[samrose]

What kind of change does this PR introduce?

working out some of the gh action build issues and caching, to make sure we build with arm and x86

Using this repo to work out the issues so that we can iterate faster.

Once the work is done here, I will archive and place a message on the readme redirecting people supabase/postgres

[samrose]

I realized I can just do this over at supabase/posgres too. Closing this and moving the work there