Fix flaky tests caused by OPTIMIZE FINAL failing memory budget check

[al13n321]

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02461_prewhere_row_level_policy_lightweight_delete and 02458_relax_too_many_parts failed in the same way: their OPTIMIZE ... FINAL query didn't do the merge because Current background tasks memory usage (31.77 GiB) is more than the limit (31.01 GiB).

This PR does two things:

A lot of the 31+ GB background memory usage seems to come from tests 02581_share_big_sets_*. This PR marks 2/4 of them as no-parallel (the ones that are also marked long; I guessed that the other 2 use much less memory, but don't actually know what I'm doing).

OPTIMIZE FINAL already has a retry loop for something similar: to wait for other merges to complete. This PR moves the memory budget check into a similar retry loop. It re-checks the limit every second for up to 2 minutes (lock_acquire_timeout_for_background_operations).

[robot-ch-test-poll3]

This is an automated comment for commit a4abb81 with description of existing statuses. It's updated for the latest CI running
The full report is available here
The overall status of the commit is 🟢 success

Check name	Description	Status
AST fuzzer	Runs randomly generated queries to catch program errors. The build type is optionally given in parenthesis. If it fails, ask a maintainer for help	🟢 success
CI running	A meta-check that indicates the running CI. Normally, it's in success or pending state. The failed status indicates some problems with the PR	🟢 success
ClickHouse build check	Builds ClickHouse in various configurations for use in further steps. You have to fix the builds that fail. Build logs often has enough information to fix the error, but you might have to reproduce the failure locally. The cmake options can be found in the build log, grepping for cmake. Use these options and follow the general build process	🟢 success
Compatibility check	Checks that clickhouse binary runs on distributions with old libc versions. If it fails, ask a maintainer for help	🟢 success
Docker image for servers	The check to build and optionally push the mentioned image to docker hub	🟢 success
Fast test	Normally this is the first check that is ran for a PR. It builds ClickHouse and runs most of stateless functional tests, omitting some. If it fails, further checks are not started until it is fixed. Look at the report to see which tests fail, then reproduce the failure locally as described here	🟢 success
Flaky tests	Checks if new added or modified tests are flaky by running them repeatedly, in parallel, with more randomization. Functional tests are run 100 times with address sanitizer, and additional randomization of thread scheduling. Integrational tests are run up to 10 times. If at least once a new test has failed, or was too long, this check will be red. We don't allow flaky tests, read the doc	🟢 success
Install packages	Checks that the built packages are installable in a clear environment	🟢 success
Integration tests	The integration tests report. In parenthesis the package type is given, and in square brackets are the optional part/total tests	🟢 success
Mergeable Check	Checks if all other necessary checks are successful	🟢 success
Performance Comparison	Measure changes in query performance. The performance test report is described in detail here. In square brackets are the optional part/total tests	🟢 success
Push to Dockerhub	The check for building and pushing the CI related docker images to docker hub	🟢 success
SQLancer	Fuzzing tests that detect logical bugs with SQLancer tool	🟢 success
Sqllogic	Run clickhouse on the sqllogic test set against sqlite and checks that all statements are passed	🟢 success
Stateful tests	Runs stateful functional tests for ClickHouse binaries built in various configurations -- release, debug, with sanitizers, etc	🟢 success
Stateless tests	Runs stateless functional tests for ClickHouse binaries built in various configurations -- release, debug, with sanitizers, etc	🟢 success
Stress test	Runs stateless functional tests concurrently from several clients to detect concurrency-related errors	🟢 success
Style Check	Runs a set of checks to keep the code style clean. If some of tests failed, see the related log from the report	🟢 success
Unit tests	Runs the unit tests for different release types	🟢 success
Upgrade check	Runs stress tests on server version from last release and then tries to upgrade it to the version from the PR. It checks if the new server can successfully startup without any errors, crashes or sanitizer asserts	🟢 success

[alesapin]

This time is quite big (120 seconds). So we can wait here for a long time + additionally we can wait for currently_merging_mutating_parts another 120 seconds (next lines after loop). Maybe update timeout value after wait here?

[azat]

@al13n321 Maybe it worth to add optimize_throw_if_noop for the failed tests as well?