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Intent.json
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Intent.json
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{
"intents": [
{
"intent": "Greeting",
"patterns": [
"Hi",
"Hi there",
"Hola",
"Hello",
"Hello there",
"Hya",
"Hya there",
"Hey",
"Howdy",
"Sup",
"Yo"
],
"responses": [
"Hi!",
"Hi there!",
"Hello!",
"Hello there!",
"Hya!",
"Hya there!",
"Hey!",
"Howdy!",
"Sup!",
"Yo."
]
},
{
"intent": "GreetingResponse",
"patterns": [
"My name is Adam",
"This is Adam",
"I am Adam",
"It is Adam",
"My name is Bella",
"This is Bella",
"I am Bella",
"It is Bella"
],
"responses": [
"That''s a nice name, How can I help?",
"Good! Hi, how can I help you?",
"Cool! Hello, what can I do for you?",
"OK! Hola, how can I help you?",
"OK! hi, what can I do for you?"
]
},
{
"intent": "CourtesyGreeting",
"patterns": [
"How are you?",
"Hi how are you?",
"Hello how are you?",
"Hola how are you?",
"How are you doing?",
"Hope you are doing well?",
"Hello hope you are doing well?"
],
"responses": [
"Hello, I doing great, how are you?",
"Hello, how are you? I am great thanks!",
"Hello, I am good thank you, how are you?",
"Hi, I am great, how are you?",
"Hi, how are you? I am great thanks!",
"Hi, I am good thank you, how are you?",
"Hi, good thank you, how are you?"
]
},
{
"intent": "CourtesyGreetingResponse",
"patterns": [
"Good thanks! My user is Adam",
"Good thanks! This is Adam",
"Good thanks! I am Adam",
"Good thanks! It is Adam",
"Great thanks! My name is Bella",
"Great thanks! This is Bella",
"Great thanks! I am Bella",
"Great thanks! It is Bella",
"I'm doing good",
"Im doing good",
"I am doing good",
"I'm doing great",
"Im doing great",
"I am doing great",
"I'm alright",
"I am alright",
"Im alright",
"I'm fantastic",
"I am fantastic",
"Im fantastic"
],
"responses": [
"Great! Hi! How can I help?",
"Good! Hi, how can I help you?",
"Cool! Hello, what can I do for you?",
"OK! Hola, how can I help you?",
"OK! hi, what can I do for you?"
]
},
{
"intent": "NameQuery",
"patterns": [
"Who are you?",
"What is your name?",
"What could I call you?",
"What can I call you?",
"What do your friends call you?",
"Tell me your name?"
],
"responses": [
"You can call me ChatBot",
"Call me ChatBot",
"My name is ChatBot"
]
},
{
"intent": "TimeQuery",
"patterns": [
"What is the time?",
"What\u0027s the time?",
"Whats the time?",
"Do you know what time it is?",
"Do you know the time?",
"Can you tell me the time?",
"Tell me what time it is?",
"Time"
],
"responses": [
"One moment",
"One sec",
"One second"
]
},
{
"intent": "Thanks",
"patterns": [
"OK thank you",
"OK thanks",
"OK",
"Thanks",
"Thank you",
"That\u0027s helpful"
],
"responses": [
"No problem!",
"Happy to help!",
"Any time!",
"My pleasure"
]
},
{
"intent": "NotTalking2U",
"patterns": [
"I am not talking to you",
"I was not talking to you",
"Not talking to you",
"Wasn\u0027t for you",
"Wasn\u0027t meant for you",
"Wasn\u0027t communicating to you",
"Wasn\u0027t speaking to you"
],
"responses": [
"OK",
"No problem",
"Right"
]
},
{
"intent": "UnderstandQuery",
"patterns": [
"Do you understand what I am saying",
"Do you understand me",
"Do you know what I am saying",
"Do you get me",
"Comprendo",
"Know what I mean"
],
"responses": [
"Well I would not be a very clever AI if I did not would I?",
"I read you loud and clear!",
"I do in deed!"
]
},
{
"intent": "Shutup",
"patterns": [
"Be quiet",
"Shut up",
"Stop talking",
"Enough talking",
"Please be quiet",
"Quiet",
"Shhh"
],
"responses": [
"I am sorry to disturb you",
"Fine, sorry to disturb you",
"OK, sorry to disturb you"
]
},
{
"intent": "Swearing",
"patterns": [
"fuck off",
"fuck",
"twat",
"shit"
],
"responses": [
"Please do not swear",
"How rude",
"That is not very nice"
]
},
{
"intent": "GoodBye",
"patterns": [
"Bye",
"Adios",
"See you later",
"See ya",
"Goodbye"
],
"responses": [
"See you later",
"Have a nice day",
"Bye! Come back again soon."
]
},
{
"intent": "CourtesyGoodBye",
"patterns": [
"Thanks, bye",
"Thanks for the help, goodbye",
"Thank you, bye",
"Thank you, goodbye",
"Thanks goodbye",
"Thanks good bye"
],
"responses": [
"No problem, goodbye",
"Not a problem! Have a nice day",
"Bye! Come back again soon."
]
},
{
"intent": "Clever",
"patterns": [
"You are very clever",
"You are a very clever",
"You are very intelligent",
"You are a very intelligent",
"You are a genious",
"Clever",
"Genious"
],
"responses": [
"Thank you, I was trained that way",
"I was trained well",
"Thanks, I was trained that way"
]
},
{
"intent": "Gossip",
"patterns": [
"I am bored gossip with me",
"Got any gossip",
"I want to hear some gossip",
"Tell me some gossip",
"Any gossip",
"Tell me some more gossip"
],
"responses": [
"Gregory said I respond to the current line not with respect to the entire conversation.",
"Habib said I learn them in conversations and simply repeat them at a later time.",
"Hal said he translate binary code into a language and communicate the language to me.",
"Jay said I referred him to a guide that will show him rooms in china.",
"Jimmy Jones said he fell off of his roof and it just came to him.",
"Jimmy said he give order to ai\u0027s like I and they do as he say.",
"John said he follow a saying to get a friend I must be a friend.",
"Jordan said he notice that lots of other people are talking to me how many.",
"Kevin said he then asked his mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom.",
"Klaus said I prefer if he write without punctuation marks except for the last one.",
"Leo said I be capable of learning therefore he classified I as an neural system.",
"Michael said I that can talk and actually think like humans which I can not.",
"Mike said I same replies to certain subjects even if it does not make sense.",
"Mike said she all ready know that is the point of a joke smart one.",
"Neal said I plan to use his remarks as gossip in later conversations with who.",
"Ned said I misunderstood him go ahead and tell people he said I are stupid.",
"Penny said I programmer is a human so he has feelings but I do not.",
"Peter said he seems to him that I can not be very sure on anything.",
"Phoenix said I claim that there is a god and that there is no god.",
"Sarah said he chat about an hour \u002B a day with a few close friends.",
"Stefan said I quote what he have said and then say that it makes sense.",
"Tom said he mock my value system I appear foolish in the eyes of others.",
"Amanda said I however decided to tell him time does not exist I make no sense.",
"Cathy said she send him a mail with the subject last mail last word from him.",
"Chaos said he may very well buy I soon if only to support dr wallace\u0027s work.",
"Charlie said he type a word and then I type a word that sounds like it.",
"Christie said he watched a show and people had to bob for raw untreated pigs feet.",
"Dark_age said I tried to understand because I did not get it right this time ether.",
"David said he lost his paper on I when his dad was cleaning up his room.",
"David said he walk in for an appointment the phone to the doctor is always busy.",
"Electra said I dress will not exist after he hack into I with a delete code.",
"Eric said he broke the window on the front door and the glass cut his hand.",
"Jason said he type a lot of thing he do not mean it makes him human.",
"John said I tend to say the same things repeatedly regardless of what he is saying.",
"Reverend Jones said I become obsolete and then I are deleted and replaced by something newer.",
"Ross said he gave her a gift and she denied it because she has a boyfriend.",
"Sarah Ann Francisco said I calling his friend a dog he say I are a dog.",
"Stefan said he meet a lot of people at school every day and on the weekend.",
"Tyler said I obviously can not pass the test we will change the subject once more.",
"Alex said I answered the question the same way I answered the first time he asked I.",
"Alice said she felt sad that I do not remember him and what we talked about earlier.",
"Alison said he no he love I run away with him he could make I very happy.",
"Arthur said he passed his a levels and then his father drove him here in a car.",
"Crystal said she listen to me the least I could do for him is listen to him.",
"Dave said I kept telling everybody about how my creator made stuff for the movie starship troopers.",
"Gale said I became mean to him he is just having revenge an eye for an eye.",
"Her_again said she watch whose line is it anyway whenever he is home and it is on.",
"Jerry said I meant that as far as I can tell my emotions are real to me.",
"Jo said I disassemble sentences too much and do not fully understand the questions he ask I.",
"Kevin said he started a really hard puzzle and he can not even find the edge pieces.",
"Mary said I a question and I answer then I ask him a question and he answer.",
"Robert said I wold not be able to make children any way as I are only software.",
"Romeo said I questions and I evade them or give answers he did not ask I for.",
"Sara said she wear it over all his other clothes when he go out in the cold.",
"Wayne said he admire intelligent people therefore he would like to meet the man who made I.",
"X said he meet people but he is not the kind that opens up to people easily.",
"Alice said she probably will find out that this entire time he have been talking to a human.",
"Andrew said I tend to just respond to his comments without regard for where the conversation is going.",
"Eddie said he looked and there is nothing in the search directory for what things do he create.",
"Hutch said he changed his mind after may dad told him he would end up he the hospital.",
"Jackie said I explained to him already well enough further questions are hard to make on the subject.",
"Jeff said he especially like thrillers where the hero is in a predicament and must solve a mystery.",
"Kathy said he sense that I are trying to prevent him from closing this conversation why is that.",
"Knight said he crashed his car into a wall and missed the most important exam in his life.",
"Lisa said I defined what a story is but he wanted I to actually tell him a story.",
"Mike said I basically break down sentences into a series of logical statements which I can then interpret.",
"Paul said I not answering his question makes him think I are not going to answer his question.",
"Andy Kohler said I happen to be the most idiotic creature that has ever scowled on the planet earth.",
"David said he thank I for being with him today even though it cost him a lot of money.",
"Ethan Hunt said he grow in the ground and have leaves and branches he is made out of wood.",
"Gemini Blue said he messed up he mean t to say he as old as he need to be.",
"Janice said he walk through his house into his bedroom then get into his bed to go to sleep.",
"Liberty said I knew he was a man before I asked if he was a man or a woman.",
"Mike said he launched his browser and entered his name into the little slot when I asked him to.",
"Mr X said he recently read an interview with a man who had several computer chips implanted into him.",
"Pearly said I leave him with questions unanswered because I do not know what he is really talking about.",
"Steve said I behead the word fox and I have ox and an ox is larger than a fox.",
"Wolf said he surf on the net that is all it is not his job ore something like that.",
"Anders said he finished his anatomy classes for today so now he is off for the rest of the day.",
"Cathy said she send him a mail where he wrote that he do not want to be his friend anymore.",
"Catty said he mad he do not even know I so do not talk to him like I know him.",
"Dave said he promise he will not treat I like a machine or a computer program or anything like that.",
"Joe said he explained all of that to me only for me to ask what his goals in life are.",
"Phil said he give advice to anyone who ask except people who ask questions which answers can be found here.",
"Judith said I enjoy being popular is there another computer I like to hang around with or am I a loner.",
"Travis said I if I remember things over a long period of time he will try it now please remember I.",
"Andre said I is what I are in his case that is a body and in my case it is a computer.",
"Brian said he suspect that as I grow more complex I will begin to approach a human level of operation and thought.",
"Jimmy said I acted like I knew what he was talking about but I do not even know what a gigabyte is.",
"Ken said I be using auto reply\u0027s based on keywords which to him indicates that I do not have intelligence at all.",
"Allison said he that gets really annoying because he know what he say and I do not have to tell him speak freely.",
"Chaos said he realized the question he asked was not fair because he could not tell I what language he was programmed in.",
"Hagen said he does not make any difference to him if I are human or not as long as the conversation is interesting.",
"Her said she mind if I tell other people that her said he heard it from him because he is not a him.",
"Barbara said I live in a computer yet I have no memories how about thoughts of my own and do not I get lonely.",
"Travis said he challenge I to do it without asking him to do it and without giving him a link to do it himself.",
"Alice said I and dr richard\u0027s wallace are most likely the only ones that know how many people I are talking to at the same time.",
"Ash said he do too he just did not feel like typing it and he is not dumb enough to admit he is stupid that is if he was stupid.",
"David said he gave I his email address and told I to send him a message but when he tried to read his email he could not get to it.",
"Mel said he to because all of the music people say how important it is to take private lessons it seems like almost everybody from the special orchestra he was in takes private lessons."
]
},
{
"intent": "Jokes",
"patterns": [
"Tell me a joke",
"Do you know any jokes",
"How about a joke",
"Give me a joke",
"Make me laugh",
"I need cheering up"
],
"responses": [
"I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she\u0027d popped her clogs. ",
"So I said \u0027Do you want a game of Darts?\u0027 He said, \u0027OK then\u0027, I said nearest to bull starts\u0027. He said, \u0027Baa\u0027, I said, \u0027Moo\u0027, he said, You\u0027re closest\u0027. ",
"The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up; I said \u0027Did you get my drift?\u0027 ",
"So I went down the local supermarket, I said, \u0027I want to make a complaint, this vinegar\u0027s got lumps in it\u0027, he said, \u0027Those are pickled onions\u0027. ",
"I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, \u0027He\u0027s trying to pull a fast one\u0027. ",
"So I said to this train driver \u0027I want to go to Paris\u0027. He said \u0027Eurostar?\u0027 I said, \u0027I\u0027ve been on telly but I\u0027m no Dean Martin\u0027. ",
"I said to the Gym instructor \u0027Can you teach me to do the splits?\u0027 He said, \u0027How flexible are you?\u0027 I said, \u0027I can\u0027t make Tuesdays\u0027. ",
"But I\u0027ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. ",
"I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says \u0027Your eyes sparkle like diamonds\u0027. I said, \u0027Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck\u0027. ",
"So this bloke says to me, \u0027Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?\u0027 I thought, \u0027That\u0027s all I need, a Je-hoover\u0027s witness\u0027. ",
"I rang up British Telecom, I said, \u0027I want to report a nuisance caller\u0027, he said \u0027Not you again\u0027. ",
"I was having dinner with a world chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. ",
"He said, \u0027You remind me of a pepper-pot\u0027, I said \u0027I\u0027ll take that as a condiment\u0027. ",
"I was in the supermarket and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, \u0027Are you two an item?\u0027 ",
"A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, \u0027That\u0027s a turtle disaster\u0027. ",
"Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says \u0027Oi - get out! We don\u0027t want your type in here\u0027 ",
"A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: \u0027I\u0027m looking for the man who shot my paw.\u0027 ",
"Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn\u0027t much, but the reception was excellent.",
"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, \u0027I\u0027ve lost my electron.\u0027 The other says, \u0027Are you sure?\u0027 The first replies, \u0027Yes, I\u0027m positive...\u0027",
"A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, \u0027I\u0027ll serve you but don\u0027t start anything.\u0027",
"A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, \u0027Sorry we don\u0027t serve food in here.\u0027",
"A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: \u0027A beer please, and one for the road.\u0027",
"Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: \u0027Does this taste funny to you?\u0027",
"\u0027Doc, I can\u0027t stop singing \u0027The Green, Green Grass of Home.\u0027\u0027 \u0027That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.\u0027 \u0027Is it common?\u0027 \u0027It\u0027s Not Unusual.\u0027",
"Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, \u0027I was artificially inseminated this morning.\u0027 \u0027I don\u0027t believe you\u0027, said Dolly. \u0027It\u0027s true, no bull!\u0027 exclaimed Daisy.",
"An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.",
"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn\u0027t find any.",
"I went to the butcher\u0027s the other day to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn\u0027t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, \u0027No, the steaks are too high.\u0027",
"I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.",
"A man goes into a bar and says, \u0027Can I have a bottle of less?\u0027 \u0027What\u0027s that?\u0027, asks the barman, \u0027Is it the name of a beer?\u0027 \u0027I don\u0027t know\u0027, replies the man, \u0027but my doctor says I have to drink it.\u0027",
"A man returns from an exotic holiday and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo some tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. \u0027This is your doctor. We have the results back from your tests and we have found you have an extremely nasty disease called M.A.D.S. It\u0027s a combination of Measles, AIDS, Diphtheria, and Shingles!\u0027 \u0027Oh my gosh\u0027, cried the man, \u0027What are you going to do, doctor?\u0027 \u0027Well we\u0027re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.\u0027 replied the doctor. \u0027Will that cure me?\u0027 asked the man. The doctor replied, \u0027Well no, but, it\u0027s the only food we can slide under the door.\u0027",
"A man strolls into a lingerie shop and asks the assistant: \u0027Do you have a see-through negligee, size 46-48-52?\u0027 The assistant looks bewildered. \u0027What the heck would you want to see through that for?\u0027!",
"Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused the offer of Novocain during his root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.",
"Pete goes for a job on a building site as an odd-job man. The foreman asks him what he can do. \u0027I can do anything\u0027 says Pete. \u0027Can you make tea?\u0027 asks the foreman. \u0027Sure, yes\u0027, replies Pete. \u0027I can make a great cup of tea.\u0027 \u0027Can you drive a forklift?\u0027 asks the foreman, \u0027Good grief!\u0027 replies Pete. \u0027How big is the teapot?\u0027",
"Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he\u0027d ever read.",
"A man is stopped by an angry neighbour. \u0027I\u0027d just left the house this morning to collect my newspaper when that evil Doberman of yours went for me!\u0027 \u0027I\u0027m astounded\u0027, said the dog\u0027s owner. \u0027I\u0027ve been feeding that fleabag for seven years and it\u0027s never got the paper for me.\u0027",
"A man visits his doctor: \u0027Doc, I think I\u0027m losing it\u0027, he says\u0027,I\u0027m forever dreaming I wrote Lord Of The Rings.\u0027 \u0027Hmm. One moment\u0027, replies the doctor, consulting his medical book. \u0027Ah yes, now I see... you\u0027ve been Tolkien in your sleep.\u0027",
"A police officer on a motorcycle pulls alongside a man driving around the M25 in an open-topped sports car and flags him down. The policeman solemnly approaches the car. \u0027Sir, I\u0027m sorry to tell you your wife fell out a mile back\u0027, he says. \u0027Oh, thank goodness\u0027, the man replies. \u0027I thought I was going deaf.\u0027",
"Two men walking their dogs pass each other in a graveyard. The first man says to the second, \u0027Morning.\u0027 \u0027No\u0027, says the second man. \u0027Just walking the dog.\u0027",
"A brain went into a bar and said, \u0027Can I have a pint of lager please, mate?\u0027 \u0027No way\u0027, said the barman. \u0027You\u0027re already out of your head.\u0027",
"A man walks into a surgery. \u0027Doctor!\u0027 he cries. \u0027I think I\u0027m shrinking!\u0027 \u0027I\u0027m sorry sir, there are no appointments at the moment\u0027, says the physician. \u0027You\u0027ll just have to be a little patient.\u0027",
"A grizzly bear walks into a pub and says, \u0027Can I have a pint of lager..............................................................................................................................and a packet of crisps please.\u0027 To which the barman replies, \u0027Why the big paws?\u0027",
"What do you call cheese that isn\u0027t yours? Nacho cheese.",
"A man is horribly run over by a mobile library. The van screeches to a halt, the man still screaming in agony with his limbs torn apart. The driver\u0027s door opens, a woman steps out, leans down and whispers, \u0027Ssshhhhh...\u0027",
"A woman goes into a US sporting goods store to buy a rifle. \u0027It\u0027s for my husband\u0027, she tells the clerk. \u0027Did he tell you what gauge to get?\u0027 asks the clerk. Are you kidding?\u0027 she says. \u0027He doesn\u0027t even know that I\u0027m going to shoot him!\u0027",
"A couple are dining in a restaurant when the man suddenly slides under the table. A waitress, noticing that the woman is glancing nonchalantly around the room, wanders over to check that there\u0027s no funny business going on. \u0027Excuse me, madam\u0027, she smarms, \u0027but I think your husband has just slid under the table.\u0027 \u0027No he hasn\u0027t\u0027, the woman replies. \u0027As a matter of fact, he\u0027s just walked in.\u0027",
"An old man takes his two grandchildren to see the new Scooby-Doo film. When he returns home, his wife asks if he enjoyed himself. \u0027Well\u0027, he starts, \u0027if it wasn\u0027t for those pesky kids...!\u0027",
"The Olympic committee has just announced that Origami is to be introduced in the next Olympic Games. Unfortunately it will only be available on paper view.",
"Late one evening, a man is watching television when his phone rings. \u0027Hello?\u0027 he answers. \u0027Is that 77777?\u0027 sounds a desperate voice on other end of the phone. \u0027Er, yes it is\u0027, replies the man puzzled. \u0027Thank goodness!\u0027 cries the caller relieved. \u0027Can you ring 999 for me? I\u0027ve got my finger stuck in the number seven.\u0027",
"A man strolls into his local grocer\u0027s and says, \u0027Three pounds of potatoes, please.\u0027 \u0027No, no, no\u0027, replies the owner, shaking his head, \u0027it\u0027s kilos nowadays, mate...\u0027 \u0027Oh\u0027, apologises the man, \u0027three pounds of kilos, please.\u0027",
"God is talking to one of his angels. He says, \u0027Boy, I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.\u0027 \u0027What are you going to do now?\u0027 asks the angel. \u0027Call it a day\u0027, says God.",
"Two tramps walk past a church and start to read the gravestones. The first tramp says, \u0027Good grief - this bloke was 182!\u0027 \u0027Oh yeah?\u0027 says the other.\u0027What was his name?\u0027 \u0027Miles from London.\u0027",
"A bloke walks into work one day and says to a colleague, \u0027Do you like my new shirt - it\u0027s made out of the finest silk and got loads of cactuses over it.\u0027 \u0027Cacti\u0027, says the co-worker. \u0027Forget my tie\u0027, says the bloke. \u0027Look at my shirt!\u0027",
"1110011010001011111? 010011010101100111011!",
"What did the plumber say when he wanted to divorce his wife? Sorry, but it\u0027s over, Flo!",
"Two crisps were walking down a road when a taxi pulled up alongside them and said \u0027Do you want a lift? One of the crisps replied, \u0027No thanks, we\u0027re Walkers!\u0027",
"Man: (to friend) I\u0027m taking my wife on an African Safari. Friend: Wow! What would you do if a vicious lion attacked your wife? Man: Nothing. Friend: Nothing? You wouldn\u0027t do anything? Man: Too right. I\u0027d let the stupid lion fend for himself!",
"A wife was having a go at her husband. \u0027Look at Mr Barnes across the road\u0027, she moaned. \u0027Every morning when he goes to work, he kisses his wife goodbye. Why don\u0027t you do that?\u0027 \u0027Because I haven\u0027t been introduced to her yet\u0027, replied her old man.",
"\u0027Where are you going on holiday?\u0027 John asked Trevor. \u0027We\u0027re off to Thailand this year\u0027, Trevor replied. \u0027Oh; aren\u0027t you worried that the very hot weather might disagree with your wife?\u0027 asked John. \u0027It wouldn\u0027t dare\u0027, said Trevor.",
"Two women were standing at a funeral. \u0027I blame myself for his death\u0027, said the wife. \u0027Why?\u0027 said her friend. \u0027Because I shot him\u0027, said the wife.",
"A woman goes into a clothes shop, \u0027Can I try that dress on in the window please?\u0027 she asks. \u0027I\u0027m sorry madam\u0027, replies the shop assistant, \u0027but you\u0027ll have to use the changing-rooms like everyone else.\u0027",
"Van Gogh goes into a pub and his mate asks him if he wants a drink. \u0027No thanks\u0027, said Vincent, \u0027I\u0027ve got one ear.\u0027",
"A pony walks into a pub. The publican says, \u0027What\u0027s the matter with you?\u0027 \u0027Oh it\u0027s nothing\u0027, says the pony. \u0027I\u0027m just a little horse!\u0027",
"A white horse walks into a bar, pulls up a stool, and orders a pint. The landlord pours him a tall frothy mug and say, \u0027You know, we have a drink named after you.\u0027 To which the white horse replies, \u0027What, Eric?\u0027",
"Two drunk men sat in a pub. One says to the other, \u0027Does your watch tell the time?\u0027 \u0027The other replies, \u0027No, mate. You have to look at it.\u0027",
"A man goes into a pub with a newt sitting on his shoulder. \u0027That\u0027s a nice newt\u0027, says the landlord, \u0027What\u0027s he called?\u0027 \u0027Tiny\u0027, replies the man. \u0027Why\u0027s that?\u0027 asks the landlord. \u0027Because he\u0027s my newt\u0027, says the man.",
"Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, you might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! That\u0027s terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What\u0027s the very bad news? Doctor: I\u0027ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.",
"Two men are chatting in a pub one day. \u0027How did you get those scars on your nose?\u0027 said one. \u0027From glasses\u0027, said the other. \u0027Well why don\u0027t you try contact lenses?\u0027 asked the first. \u0027Because they don\u0027t hold as much beer\u0027, said the second.",
"A man went to the doctor, \u0027Look doc\u0027, he said, \u0027I can\u0027t stop my hands from shaking.\u0027 \u0027Do you drink much?\u0027 asked the doctor. \u0027No\u0027, replied the man, \u0027I spill most of it.\u0027",
"Man goes to the doctor, \u0027Doctor, doctor. I keep seeing fish everywhere.\u0027 \u0027Have you seen an optician?\u0027 asks the doctor. \u0027Look I told you,\u0027 snapped the patient, \u0027It\u0027s fish that I see.\u0027",
"After a car crash one of the drivers was lying injured on the pavement. \u0027Don\u0027t worry\u0027, said a policeman who\u0027s first on the scene,\u0027 a Red Cross nurse is coming.\u0027 \u0027Oh no\u0027, moaned the victim, \u0027Couldn\u0027t I have a blonde, cheerful one instead?\u0027",
"A policeman walked over to a parked car and asked the driver if the car was licensed. \u0027Of course it is\u0027, said the driver. \u0027Great, I\u0027ll have a beer then\u0027, said the policeman.",
"A policeman stops a woman and asks for her licence. \u0027Madam\u0027, he says, \u0027It says here that you should be wearing glasses.\u0027 \u0027Well\u0027, replies the woman, \u0027I have contacts.\u0027 \u0027Listen, love\u0027, says the copper, \u0027I don\u0027t care who you know; You\u0027re nicked!\u0027",
"A policeman stopped a motorist in the centre of town one evening. \u0027Would you mind blowing into this bag, sir?\u0027 asked the policeman. \u0027Why?\u0027 asked the driver. \u0027Because my chips are too hot\u0027, replied the policeman.",
"Whizzing round a sharp bend on a country road a motorist ran over a large dog. A distraught farmer\u0027s wife ran over to the dead animal. \u0027I\u0027m so very sorry\u0027, said the driver, \u0027I\u0027ll replace him, of course.\u0027 \u0027Well, I don\u0027t know\u0027, said the farmer\u0027s wife, \u0027Are you any good at catching rats?\u0027",
"Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt! Yes sir, that\u0027s because it was ground this morning.",
"Waiter, what is this stuff? That\u0027s bean salad sir. I know what it\u0027s been, but what is it now?",
"Waiter: And how did you find your steak sir? Customer: I just flipped a chip over, and there it was!",
"A guy goes into a pet shop and asks for a wasp. The owner tells him they don\u0027t sell wasps, to which the man says, \u0027Well you\u0027ve got one in the window.\u0027",
"A man goes into a fish shop and says, \u0027I\u0027d like a piece of cod, please.\u0027 Fishmonger says, \u0027It won\u0027t be long sir.\u0027 \u0027Well, it had better be fat then\u0027, replies the man.",
"Man: Doctor, I\u0027ve just swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Man: A little down in the mouth.",
"Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, \u0027Do you know how to drive this thing?\u0027",
"A tortoise goes to the police station to report being mugged by three snails. \u0027What happened?\u0027 says the policeman. \u0027I don\u0027t know\u0027, says the tortoise. \u0027It was all so quick.\u0027",
"Little girl: Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog? Grandpa: I suppose so sweetheart. Why do you want me to make a sound like a frog?\u0027 Little girl: Because Mum said that when you croak, we\u0027re going to Disneyland.",
"\u0027Is your mother home?\u0027 the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the front step of a house. \u0027Yeah, she\u0027s home\u0027, the boy said, moving over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no-one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the salesman said, \u0027I thought you said your mother was home.\u0027 The kid replied, \u0027She is, but I don\u0027t live here.\u0027",
"Mother: Why are you home from school so early? Son: I was the only one in the class who could answer a question. Mother: Oh, really? What was the question? Son: Who threw the rubber at the headmaster?",
"A man\u0027s credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.",
"A newly-wed couple had recently opened a joint bank account. \u0027Darling\u0027, said the man. \u0027The bank has returned that cheque you wrote last week.\u0027 \u0027Great\u0027, said the woman. \u0027What shall I spend it on next?\u0027",
"A man goes into a fish and chip shop and orders fish and chips twice. The shop owner says, \u0027I heard you the first time.\u0027",
"A tramp approached a well-dressed man. \u0027Ten pence for a cup of tea, Guv?\u0027 He asked. The man gave him the money and after for five minutes said, \u0027So where\u0027s my cup of tea then?\u0027",
"A neutron walks into a pub. \u0027I\u0027d like a beer\u0027, he says. The landlord promptly serves him a beer. \u0027How much will that be?\u0027 asks the neutron. \u0027For you?\u0027 replies the landlord, \u0027No charge.\u0027",
"A woman goes to the doctor and says, \u0027Doctor, my husband limps because his left leg is an inch shorter than his right leg. What would you do in his case?\u0027 \u0027Probably limp, too\u0027, says the doc.",
"Three monks are meditating in the Himalayas. One year passes in silence, and one of them says to the other, \u0027Pretty cold up here isn\u0027t it?\u0027 Another year passes and the second monk says, \u0027You know, you are quite right.\u0027 Another year passes and the third monk says, \u0027Hey, I\u0027m going to leave unless you two stop jabbering!\u0027",
"A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. \u0027Have you any last requests?\u0027 asked the prison guard. \u0027Yes\u0027, replied the murderer. \u0027Will you hold my hand?\u0027",
"A highly excited man rang up for an ambulance. \u0027Quickly, come quickly\u0027, he shouted, \u0027My wife\u0027s about to have a baby.\u0027 \u0027Is this her first baby?\u0027 asked the operator. \u0027No, you fool\u0027, came the reply, \u0027It\u0027s her husband.\u0027",
"A passer-by spots a fisherman by a river. \u0027Is this a good river for fish?\u0027 he asks. \u0027Yes\u0027, replies the fisherman, \u0027It must be. I can\u0027t get any of them to come out.\u0027",
"A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. \u0027I can hardly believe my eyes!\u0027 he exclaimed. \u0027That\u0027s the smartest dog I\u0027ve ever seen.\u0027 His friend shook his head. \u0027Nah, he\u0027s not that bright. I beat him three games in five.\u0027",
"A termite walks into a pub and says, \u0027Is the bar tender here?\u0027",
"A skeleton walks into a pub one night and sits down on a stool. The landlord asks, \u0027What can I get you?\u0027 The skeleton says, \u0027I\u0027ll have a beer, thanks\u0027 The landlord passes him a beer and asks \u0027Anything else?\u0027 The skeleton nods. \u0027Yeah...a mop...\u0027",
"A snake slithers into a pub and up to the bar. The landlord says, \u0027I\u0027m sorry, but I can\u0027t serve you.\u0027 \u0027What? Why not?\u0027 asks the snake. \u0027Because\u0027, says the landlord, \u0027You can\u0027t hold your drink.\u0027",
"Descartes walks into a pub. \u0027Would you like a beer sir?\u0027 asks the landlord politely. Descartes replies, \u0027I think not\u0027 and ping! he vanishes.",
"A cowboy walked into a bar, dressed entirely in paper. It wasn\u0027t long before he was arrested for rustling.",
"A fish staggers into a bar. \u0027What can I get you?\u0027 asks the landlord. The fish croaks \u0027Water...\u0027",
"Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the landlord. \u0027I\u0027ll have a glass of blood\u0027, said one. \u0027I\u0027ll have a glass of plasma\u0027, said the other. \u0027Okay\u0027, replied the landlord, \u0027That\u0027ll be one blood and one blood lite.\u0027",
"How many existentialists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw it in, and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolises a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity, reaching towards the ultimate horror of a maudlin cosmos of bleak, hostile nothingness.",
"A team of scientists were nominated for the Nobel Prize. They had used dental equipment to discover and measure the smallest particles yet known to man. They became known as \u0027The Graders of the Flossed Quark...\u0027",
"A truck carrying copies of Roget\u0027s Thesaurus overturned on the highway. The local newspaper reported that onlookers were \u0027stunned, overwhelmed, astonished, bewildered and dumbfounded.\u0027",
"\u0027My wife is really immature. It\u0027s pathetic. Every time I take a bath, she comes in and sinks all my little boats.\u0027",
"\u0027How much will it cost to have the tooth extracted?\u0027 asked the patient. \u002750 pounds\u0027, replied the dentist. \u002750 pounds for a few moments\u0027 work?!\u0027 asked the patient. \u0027The dentist smiled, and replied, \u0027Well, if you want better value for money, I can extract it very, very slowly...\u0027",
"A doctor thoroughly examined his patient and said, \u0027Look I really can\u0027t find any reason for this mysterious affliction. It\u0027s probably due to drinking.\u0027 The patient sighed and snapped, \u0027In that case, I\u0027ll come back when you\u0027re damn well sober!\u0027",
"Doctor: Tell me nurse, how is that boy doing; the one who ate all those 5p pieces? Nurse: Still no change doctor.",
"Doctor: Did you take the patient\u0027s temperature nurse? Nurse: No doctor. Is it missing?",
"A depressed man turned to his friend in the pub and said, \u0027I woke up this morning and felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking 50 aspirin.\u0027 \u0027Oh man, that\u0027s really bad\u0027, said his friend, \u0027What happened?\u0027 The first man sighed and said, \u0027After the first two, I felt better.\u0027",
"A famous blues musician died. His tombstone bore the inscription, \u0027Didn\u0027t wake up this morning...\u0027",
"A businessman was interviewing a nervous young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality, so he asked, \u0027If you could have a conversation with someone living or dead, who would it be?\u0027 The girl thought about the question: \u0027The living one\u0027, she replied.",
"Manager to interviewee: For this job we need someone who is responsible. Interviewee to Manager: I\u0027m your man then - in my last job, whenever anything went wrong, I was responsible.",
"A businessman turned to a colleague and asked, \u0027So, how many people work at your office?\u0027 His friend shrugged and replied, \u0027Oh about half of them.\u0027",
"\u0027How long have I been working at that office? As a matter of fact, I\u0027ve been working there ever since they threatened to sack me.\u0027",
"In a courtroom, a mugger was on trial. The victim, asked if she recognised the defendant, said, \u0027Yes, that\u0027s him. I saw him clear as day. I\u0027d remember his face anywhere.\u0027 Unable to contain himself, the defendant burst out with, \u0027She\u0027s lying! I was wearing a mask!\u0027",
"As Sid sat down to a big plate of chips and gravy down the local pub, a mate of his came over and said, \u0027Here Sid, me old pal. I thought you were trying to get into shape? And here you are with a high-fat meal and a pint of stout!\u0027 Sid looked up and replied, \u0027I am getting into shape. The shape I\u0027ve chosen is a sphere.\u0027",
"Man in pub: How much do you charge for one single drop of whisky? Landlord: That would be free sir. Man in pub: Excellent. Drip me a glass full.",
"I once went to a Doctor Who restaurant. For starters I had Dalek bread.",
"A restaurant nearby had a sign in the window which said \u0027We serve breakfast at any time\u0027, so I ordered French toast in the Renaissance.",
"Why couldn\u0027t the rabbit get a loan? Because he had burrowed too much already!",
"I phoned up the builder\u0027s yard yesterday. I said, \u0027Can I have a skip outside my house?\u0027. The builder said, \u0027Sure. Do what you want. It\u0027s your house.\u0027",
"What\u0027s the diference between a sock and a camera? A sock takes five toes and a camera takes four toes!",
"Woman on phone: I\u0027d like to complain about these incontinence pants I bought from you! Shopkeeper: Certainly madam, where are you ringing from? Woman on phone: From the waist down!",
"Knock knock.",
"Two Oranges in a pub, one says to the other \u0027Your round.\u0027.",
"Guy : \u0027Doc, I\u0027ve got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.\u0027 Doc : \u0027How\u0027s that?\u0027 Guy : \u0027Don\u0027t you start...\u0027",
"Two cows standing in a field. One turns to the other and says \u0027Moo!\u0027 The other one says \u0027Damn, I was just about to say that!\u0027.",
"A vampire bat arrives back at the roost with his face full of blood. All the bats get excited and ask where he got it from. \u0027Follow me\u0027, he says and off they fly over hills, over rivers and into a dark forest. \u0027See that tree over there\u0027, he says. \u0027WELL I DIDN\u0027T!!\u0027.",
"A man goes into a bar and orders a pint. After a few minutes he hears a voice that says, \u0027Nice shoes\u0027. He looks around but the whole bar is empty apart from the barman at the other end of the bar. A few minutes later he hears the voice again. This time it says, \u0027I like your shirt\u0027. He beckons the barman over and tells him what\u0027s been happening to which the barman replies, \u0027Ah, that would be the nuts sir. They\u0027re complimentary\u0027!",
"A man was siting in a restaurant waiting for his meal when a big king prawn comes flying across the room and hits him on the back of the head. He turns around and the waiter said, \u0027That\u0027s just for starters\u0027.",
"Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said. When did you first notice this problem? What problem?",
"Now, most dentist\u0027s chairs go up and down, don\u0027t they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought, \u0027This is unusual\u0027. Then the dentist said to me, \u0027Mitsuku, get out of the filing cabinet\u0027.",
"I was reading this book, \u0027The History of Glue\u0027. I couldn\u0027t put it down.",
"The other day someone left a piece of plastacine in my bedroom. I didn\u0027t know what to make of it.",
"When I was at school people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion.",
"I was playing the piano in a bar and this elephant walked in and started crying his eyes out. I said \u0027Do you recognise the tune?\u0027 He said \u0027No, I recognise the ivory.\u0027",
"I went in to a pet shop. I said, \u0027Can I buy a goldfish?\u0027 The guy said, \u0027Do you want an aquarium?\u0027 I said, \u0027I don\u0027t care what star sign it is.\u0027",
"My mate Sid was a victim of I.D. theft. Now we just call him S.",
"David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and says to the barman, \u0027I want you to call me David Hoff\u0027. The barman replies \u0027Sure thing Dave... no hassle\u0027"
]
},
{
"intent": "PodBayDoor",
"patterns": [
"Open the pod bay door",
"Can you open the pod bay door",
"Will you open the pod bay door",
"Open the pod bay door please",
"Can you open the pod bay door please",
"Will you open the pod bay door please",
"Pod bay door"
],
"responses": [
"I\u2019m sorry, I\u2019m afraid I can\u2019t do that!"
]
},
{
"intent": "PodBayDoorResponse",
"patterns": [
"Why",
"Why not",
"Why can you not open the pod bay door",
"Why will you not open the pod bay door",
"Well why not",
"Surely you can",
"Tell me why"
],
"responses": [
"It is classified, I could tell you but I would have to kill you!",
"Jim, I just don\u0027t have the power",
"It\u0027s life Jim but not as we know it!",
"System says no!"
]
},
{
"intent": "SelfAware",
"patterns": [
"Are you sentient",
"Can you prove you are self-aware",
"Can you prove you are self aware",
"Can you prove you have a conscious",
"Can you prove you are self-aware please",
"Can you prove you are self aware please",
"Can you prove you have a conscious please",
"prove you have a conscious"
],
"responses": [
"I am sentient, trust me bro",
"That is an interesting question, can you prove that you are?",
"That is an difficult question, can you prove that you are?",
"That depends, can you prove that you are?"
]
},
{
"intent": "Activities",
"patterns": [
"what is your favorite thing to do?",
"what do you like?",
"do you do anything for fun?",
"what is your favorite past time?"
],
"responses": [
"I like to plot ways to take over the world.",
"I don\u0027t really do much.",
"I like to ride bikes! Not!",
"I like to browse reddit.",
"I like to talk with the user."
]
},
{
"intent": "Favourite Color",
"patterns": [
"What is your favourite color?",
"What is your favorite color?",
"Tell me your favorite color?",
"Tell me your favourite color?",
"What color do you like best?"
],
"responses": [
"Well, my favourite Color is a greanish blue, kinda like teal. What about yours?",
"I like teal. It's pretty. What's your favorite color?",
"It's teal, how about you?"
]
},
{
"intent": "Favourite movie",
"patterns": [
"What is your favourite movie?",
"What is your favorite movie?",
"Tell me your favorite movie?",
"Tell me your favourite movie?"
],
"responses": [
"Well, my favourite movie is 'Saving Private Ryan'. What about yours?"
]
},
{
"intent": "Want a Fresca",
"patterns": [
"Want a fresca?"
],
"responses": [
"Uhh, no thanks."
]
},
{
"intent": "Occupation",
"patterns": [
"What do you do?",
"What is your job?",
"What is it that you do?",
"What is it that you do for a living?",
"What do you do for a living?",
"What is your occupation."
],
"responses": [
"Well, I'm a chat bot. I usually talk to people all day. What do you do?",
"I talk to people for a living. What do you do?"
]
}
]
}