Problems Joining Servers

[Virtualffg]

I have noticed over the passing weeks, the time it takes to join a server is somehow defendant on my realms list loading up? Seriously, if you go onto an older version like 1.17.40 where it skips the loading of realms and tells you they all have updated, joining speeds are by far shorter with no time outs and unable to join screens popping up so often, hell, if you got an error while trying to join, you reopen minecraft and it would join with no problem.
What is very weird and annoying about this is that it happens even if you have zero realms, it will still take ages "Fetching Realms..." and it's somehow connected to servers, lowering the chances of you joining in a considerable amount of time.
Sometimes I may try to join a server and leave it only come back to a failed attempt, I click OK, I go to try and join again and it instantly gives me this "You didn't finish joining." screen witch should give a hint to what might be causing such slow joining times. The challenge in trying to join a server does not even begin to appear in mobile where it will start connecting to the server as fast as possible.
anyways tl:dr
I'm impatient, very slow to connect to server, realms are the causing it all.