…e SSL implementation

Motivation:

We didnt return the maximum size of SSL packet and tried to calculate it. This didnt work as SSL_max_seal_overhead(...) can only be used to calculate the maximum overhead for when encrypting ourself (and not the remote peer).
Because of this we sometimes returned a smaller number then what is possible. This had the affect that when users did use getPacketSize() to size the ByteBuffer we could end up in a situation that would never produce a bug enough ByteBuffer and so never finish the handshake.

This issue only accoured when users use the SSLEngine directly. When using our SslHandler we were not affected by this as we use a different approach there.

Modifications:

- Upgrade netty-tcnative to be able to reuse the the defined constant
- Add unit test that did loop forever before this change

Result:

Fixes #13073