owner, sink(ticdc): cherry-pick memory quota, gc and failover related fix

[CharlesCheung96]

What problem does this PR solve?

Issue Number: ref #9535, #9344, #9450

What is changed and how it works?

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No code

Questions

Will it cause performance regression or break compatibility?

Do you need to update user documentation, design documentation or monitoring documentation?

Release note

Please refer to [Release Notes Language Style Guide](https://pingcap.github.io/tidb-dev-guide/contribute-to-tidb/release-notes-style-guide.html) to write a quality release note.

If you don't think this PR needs a release note then fill it with `None`.

[CharlesCheung96]

/retest

[CharlesCheung96]

/test all

[ti-chi-bot]

[APPROVALNOTIFIER] This PR is APPROVED

This pull-request has been approved by: asddongmen, nongfushanquan

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[ti-chi-bot]

[LGTM Timeline notifier]

Timeline:

• 2023-08-14 01:56:39.547226767 +0000 UTC m=+509764.096242740: ☑️ agreed by nongfushanquan.
• 2023-08-14 03:15:18.900457493 +0000 UTC m=+514483.449473480: ☑️ agreed by asddongmen.