"A penny saved is a penny earned."
My name is TeeJ. Yes it is a nickname. My parents weren't cool enough to give me a name like TeeJ, but they did give me the tools to get there. Sometimes I like to think I'm the only one in the world that goes by a name like TeeJ. If that was the case then my name's uniqueness would guarantee my awesomeness.
I graduated from the University of Texas at Austin in Pure Mathematics. I like to think of myself as a mathematician just as all the old geezers did. However my contribution as a mathematician isn't like the typical professor type of mathematician. Those mathematicians directly contribute by writing papers, while I am simply a soldier on the front lines. I swing away at problems in my path via calculator, computer, or good ole paper. I am just your everyday man trying to solve every puzzle that catches my interest. Nonetheless, I love solving puzzles in anyway I can. When you break everything down that is who I am, a problem solver. A TeeJ.
I want to build the skill to sell an idea so strong that truth cannot even deny it. An idea that is rich and valuable at it's core. An idea that fosters a culture of purpose and collaboration.
"We become the people we are surrounded by."
Something just dawned on me, we are brainwashed by society. For example, whenever you are a kid your favorite foods will be decided by only the things you've tried. Although this seems very subtle, I beleive this cascades into a huge part of our life.
The nature vs nuture is a debate. Often at times I realize how I am a biproduct of my upbringing. The things I find interesting, the people I find that are attractive, the entertainment I indulge in, and what I find to be sociallly acceptable. This mindset becomes more noticeable as I get older and move away from where I was raised.
Also our environments can mean everything. In one environment I can be a superstar, yet another a complete dumbass.
Would you rather be a genius and feel like an idoit or a idoit and feel like your a genius?
"Success is a journey, not a destination."
If you want to be "successful" I'd recommend working out in the morning. It is life changing. Just do it, and you'll understand.
The way I look at success is constantly changing. At first success to me was status, money, and power. Not necessarily what I am wearing, but achievements. I don't see it that way anymore.
I now see success as my relationship with my experiences. Being able to make the right decisions to make my life balanced. Choosing my priorities is what determines what decisions I make. And ultimately, the experience I get is the outcome of my decisions. Success is a balance of priorities and experiences. It's a journey, not a destination.
"Heavy is the head that wieghs the crown."
I previously mentioned about silent leadership. I think I was wrong about that. Although it is possible, it is not probable to be a good leader by being silent. Calm and confident is more accurate. A leader needs to be the first to step up. The first to face fear. A leader should set an example. The Jack of all trades that is empowered by the people that support one shared vision. And ultimately the voice. The one who steps up. The one who helps others step up.
On a side note, I notice people sit back while others are struggling around them. I am guilty of this myself. I often at times think "not my problem", but sometimes lending a hand can make all of the difference. We are people at the end of the day, and although we can do it alone doesn't mean we have to.
Another side note, people CAN change. I beleive sometimes people think the have "figured" someone out. Or even worse, assume a reaction that hasn't even happened yet. It's nonsense! That person will change. Their beleifs; their interests; their tastes. Who can really figure out change? Are you the same person you were 5 years ago?
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day"
Stocks prices have what are called candles. These candles are built by the open, close, high, and low price of some time frame. The green or red color indicates whether the candle ended with a higher close or lower close than the open, respectively.
I feel like it somewhat shadows human emotions and characters. Some days are red candles. Some days are green candles. Just becuase your day starts off as a red candle doesn't mean it can't eventually turn green.
"Seize the moment" -An Idiom according to a Google search.
I like to think we are all writers. We want to live, follow, or be apart of something that we find interesting. My story has been part-time trading and school. It gives me hope. Hope that one day I can retire in a cabin in the woods with two dogs that are built to run fast just like myself. Near this cabin, I'm hoping there is a lake, a boat even, and a nice truck I can drive around. Oh yeah, and I can't forget the camper that I can pull around so that I can explore the world. A peaceful place for my family to visit.
Will my dreams come true? Doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I have the ability to fantasize about it. Most of the time when things don't go according to my plan, it turns out to be even better than I'd imagined. It's the story in my head that matters. The peace, quiet, and adventure that comes with the dream.
"There is no patch for stupidity." -Kevin Mitnick
Whenever I was in college, I read a book called "Ghost in the Wires" by Kevin Mitnick. Little did I know this would put a seed in my head of the power of curiousity and computers. As I have been working through more courses at Georgia Tech (OMSCS), I keep finding myself signing up for Cyber Security courses. Network Security, Information Security, and soon to come the Security Labs. Each project offered from these courses are extremely entertaining.
Potential Tattoo Idea (IYKYK):
0x000049662049 0x20746f6c6420 0x796f75207468 0x617420612066 0x6c6f77657220 0x626c6f6f6d65 0x6420696e2061 0x206461726b20 0x726f6f6d2077 0x6f756c642079 0x6f7520747275 0x73742069743f
"If I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?" - Kendrick Lamar
I have been thinking about leadership alot lately. I think this comes from switching my career from data engineering in supply chain planning to data engineering in manufacturing. Leaderhsip is a big deal in manufacturing, since so many decisions are being made, frequently. Everyone is looking for a direction. Everyone is carving their own path.
One of my strengths has always been leading by example. However, a good leader doesn't want to spotlight as much as to give it to the people who deserve it. Although silence is a powerful tool, it is also at times a weakness. Mastering this tool is something I would like to focus on. Gaining respect through contribution, and support others around me through listening and, if needed, shot calling. A silent leader. Not shy, not passive, but silent. Knowing when to strike, and striking with full confidence. Giving everyone the opportunity to contribute, and filling in the missing gaps. The caboose.
On the contrary, it is a leaders job to give an overall objective and purpose for the work that is being done. Without a direction or overall purpose the silent leadership is useless. This is the benefit of being in charge.
I have finished two semesters in my Online Masters of Computer Science at Georgia Tech. I love the way technology works, especially when it comes to data. I aim to be a data engineer. There is alot that goes into building a reliable, maintanable, and scalable data system. Also there is always something that can be improved for every data system. A fun fact, the efficiency of computers is actually bottlenecks by the speed at which data can be stored, written, and read.
We live in the Era of Data. Everything we do is measured or influenced by it.
"You can't rush perfection." - One of my close friends.
When I am waiting in line on a burrito there is only one thing I care about. Quality. If my burrito is leaking juice all over my shirt, then every minute spent in line was a waste of time.
Simply knowing when to be excited and when to be calm can help you get respect.
Sometimes its not about who is right, but instead about making sure everyone is heard. On top of listening persistence can be a powerful tool. When people see your face and have fun around you, great things can happen. I encourage you to invite someone (or even a group of people) to do something.
"We pretended we were okay." Marshmello ft. Bastille - Happier
It baffles me how some people can put up walls. Walls that prevent them from showing honesty and true candid character. I can be the worst at it. So maybe this is just a message to myself. I encourage you to break down that wall. Try not to be afraid to speak how you feel or crack a joke. Especially strangers. Life is too short. Great relationships are built through candid conversations.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" Fear and Faith.
Sometimes we think we are doing good things when really we are hurting others or ourselves. How can we possibly know what is good and evil; what is right or wrong? We might never know. One thing I do know is that school gives me purpose. It gives me something to be apart of, and I don't feel shy opening up when it comes to learning. I am very fortunate to be able to learn.
On the other note, there is a different type of learning when it comes to skateboarding. By the way, I have been skateboarding alot. The type of learning when it comes to skateboarding is conquering fear. It is interesting on the different ways we can challenge ourselves.
"There is no time like the present."
Everyone is a writer, are they not? Or do they not live a story? What is a life without a story? There is no life like the present. There is no time like the present. Here. Now. Live.
"She never knew a stranger."
November 17th 2020, my Aunt Kathy passed away. It sucked. She was my gaurdian angel, and the glue that brought my family together (and some non family as well). She took countless number of photos of other people, sometimes not being in the pictures herself. If it wasn't for her photos, I wouldn't have known as much about my parents or aunt. She was also known to brighten up the room. She made strangers feel welcomed. That's why we say she never knew a stranger. A truly remarkable person, and I hope to hold just a fraction of her southern hospitality.
What I have learned through this is that death brings sadness. It is tough to carry this sadness. It hits in waves and when it does it feels like someone poking your heart with a thousand needles and putting a 5 lb weight on it. However, death also brings people together. I have not felt so connected with my family. My loss also makes me realize some of the things I have taken for granted. There are so many iconic people in my life that have some of the best qualities.
I am blessed to have had all the memories I have had with her: from the first day of school to graduation; my first gameboy; countless number of extended hugs; the neverlong battle over the bill; losing the everlong battle over the bill. I wish she could have been at my wedding to give me advice. I wish I could have taken care of her when she got old. I will forever be in debt to her beautiful soul.
If you are reading this I challenge you to reach out to someone you care about. Just say hi and listen what they have to say. Share a little piece of Aunt Kathy's love for me.
"All my life I had to fight." Kendrick Lamar. I just want to say this is the best outlook to life. Always wanting more, not accepting what others see as the standard.
The YouTube challenge was tough, but it made me more focused. Also, loneliness is a good thing in life; it provides us with the urge to need others.
What if my life is just starting?
I just got back from the Tableau Conference in Las Vegas (TC19). There are soo many smart motivational people out there in the world doing great things. I am a HUGE fan of Python, and I loved all the demos I saw that involved Python. Unfortunately, the demos I saw I won't be able replicate due to my coding environment. However it did spark an interest for different ideas I could be trying.
My dream combo is Tableau + Python for data science. Most people use Python to perform everything, but I feel like for beginners Tableau can take on the exploratory analysis part. This would make it really easy to digest small pieces of code in Python, until the analyst has a fully developed coding background.
I also realized that for a department that has an extra laptop but no server, they can automate processes in Python. The coolest part is that you can kick off the script in Tableau (using f5 to refresh the data and running the script). The tableau workbook would be reading a log of when the process completed. A strange use for Tableau. But creative.
I love riddles. Yes, they are awesome. Guess Who? Catch Phrase? Hive? Count me in. I find it funny that I like riddles, yet I never really challenge myself in the way of a riddle, however maybe we can change that. For example, Smart Phones are a life cheat sheet. Anytime I need to know something I just google it. (I love how google is actually a verb now by the way.) It makes every situation in life super easy. Do you see where I am going with this?
Riddle of the week: no youtube.
Yes, I cannot use youtube this week. Let the riddles begin.
Sometimes I think people lose focus of the bigger picture. Okay that might not be fair to measure other people up to my standards of what I beleive the greater good of people should be doing. Nor do I think I am perfect, but hear me out.
From time to time I will be invited (and others will invite me to go out and do things). This often raises a decision that has to be made. To go out to the event with said people or decline. Either decision should be welcomed (unless there is of course the peer pressure factor, but lets disregard that part). I have noticed some people will decline and say "I don't want to do that". Okay why? Is it that you don't want to do that event or hang out with those people?
Before I moved away from my hometown I was really bad about making this decision solely based on whether I wanted to do the activity or not, completely disregarding who is inviting me. That was a huge mistake! Now I don't care what I am doing, as long as I am doing it with people I enjoy (and hopefully it doesn't break the bank, so I can continue to do it). Don't get me wrong there is the whole passionate side of life and opportunity cost where we should do what we love. These activities aren't going anywhere though. The people in our lives tend to move, move on, or get busy. It just baffles me on how picky I was.
Now my two typical answers are: "Yes, lets do it!", or "I won't be able to make it.". Don't get me wrong sometimes overplanning can hurt. Sometimes I will be caught in the moment. IMO this is the best thing. Living life is the best thing, and if anything takes you away from that then well that sucks.
Also since we are talking about hanging out with people, building real connections is a big deal. Non of that superficial oh this guy works for X, or can do Y, or has Z for his A, B, and Q... Okay I'm getting carried away, but there is a connection between each person. A connection of trust and understanding. It is vital to have this in order to even really meet a person.
I just recently got back from camping at a national park called Yosemite. WOW! It is just beautiful. Camping is absolutely one of my favorite things to do. Something about sleeping in a tent in the open world feels so freeing.
It also made me think more about my life. Two words that I feel I am lacking: appreciation and discipline. I often time live in my head, usually thinking about the future/past. I often forget to appreciate things and people in my life. Also discipline is something that everyone needs, and without it you could lose everything you have through bad decisions.
I hope I will have the opportunity to camp more. Maybe one day I'll buy a van, one that I can sleep out of and camp for a really long time. I think that would be really nice.
Fast Food can be considered one of the most dangerous things not only to America, but the world. I am guilty of getting fast food from time to time, but I am aware it is not sustainable in the long run.
What really grinds my gears is people who justify "Fast food is all I can afford"... Really? Tell me how fries, that probably run for a buck fifty is cheaper than an actual potato that comes out to about seventy-five cents (probably less and you can simply microwave it almost anywhere). Tell me how a burger made from massly produced poorly treated animals (thanks to the power of the meat industry) that is not only not filling but also not going to give you any energy throughout the day is a good idea. If you cannot afford meals for your family (if so I wish you the best, and wish you didn't have to endure that) than do not buy meat. It is the only solution. It is what our ancestors have done in the past. Beans, potatos, rice, noodels, tuna, lentils, and nuts.
If you really want to "Make America Great Again" how about we solve the problem of corruption in the Meat industry, Oil Industry, and pretty much any other money-abusive power-hungry lobby-using monopoly-owned markets? Yeah let's do that Mr. President. Immigration is the problem? Is this a joke? Everyone in this country is an immigrant, or someone in there family most likely is. And if someone in their family isn't, then someone in their family tree probably killed a lot of "Native Americans" to be one of the founding fathers.
How about instead of focusing on the wrong topics like immigration, let's focus on real topics like power, money, and enabling the "Pursuit of Happiness" for everyone. Make America Great Again... Yeah that quote is just nonsense. You do not have my vote in 2020. Or ever.
"I apologize if I stare. It's just that I'm interested."
I am not too religious of a person, however I have spent some time at church and heard many of the stories. I find it strange that the idea there is this stairway to heaven. Most people assume that this stairway is going up, and that heaven is in the sky.
But why up? What makes up better than down? Whenever we die a lot of us are burried in the ground. Yet our souls want to go up and be free? This is the epitome of the american dream. The idea that the unkown is always better than the current state. And the millenials are the ones being blamed for always wanting to escape the moment. Why can't heaven be down? Being apart of everything we know and feel comfortable with. Living where all of our great and worst memories are. Being around what makes us, well us.
There is also that saying what goes up must come down. But what about going down? It takes more effort to go up then down. Shouldn't it be more difficult to come back to earth after heaven? And what makes floating in space so great? Even in Paradise Lost, Satan was banished to Choas, which was a lost place in space.
Now let me just throw some ideas out there about what happens after we die. They don't have to be correct, just a creative exorcise. What if we can replay only what we know and relive our feelings and moments? Or what if we don't know what existence is after death and time slows down more and more until our last moment, and since we do not know what that moment is like we live in limbo between our last state and our almost last state (think of a converging series with the perception of time slowing down)? What if heaven does exist and we can talk to a higher being and shoot the shit for the rest of existence of our soul? What if we were never alive and we wake up from a dream? What if we are already dead? What if we reincarnated as an animal? What if we walk a staircase to heaven going down?
Nobody knows. Yet we are all blessed with one life. A wise man told me "No you don't only live once, you only die once. You live everyday." You live everyday, so live everyday.
I found myself this weekend checking out the Mexican Museum of art in East Pilsen (Chicago, IL). The place was definitely a culture shock, and was exactly what Frisco, TX needed. Frisco, TX is so cookie cutter; everything is brand new, untouched, and semi-perfect if not perfect. East Pilsen is built off of culture and artwork. The walls are murals.
But there was one painting that stood out to me the most. A beautiful story of love and voilence. An Epic story. I could try to describe it, but instead you should just read it here: https://www.facebook.com/NationalMuseumofMexicanArt/photos/the-legends-of-popocatepetl-iztacc%C3%ADhuatls-father-sent-popocatepetl-to-war-in-oax/10152056668379600/
Whenever you look back on your life what do you see? For me, sometimes it is either really good moments or the alternative, almost victories and missed friendships. Yet the greatest moments that were able to be created seemed entirely unpredictable. It still blows my mind that there are times of my life it seems like I can barely remember. Maybe I am getting old, or there is some phsycological factor involved.
I beleive we should strive to have more memories we remember, while at the same time not letting these sometimes overwhelmingly great memories get in the way of us moving forward.
I was watching a youtube about different tech occupations. One that really caught my eye was machine learning engineer. Sounds like the perfect mix between hands on problem solving and research. Often I think this means I need to shoot for a masters degree. I am at the point where if I did go masters degree I would have to go with Computer Science. I think it would benefit my background and be a lot of fun. The one catch is that I don't have to get a masters. There is this guy Daniel Bourke that I have been creeping on and he did it right. He has a bunch of different certifications in the topic that he enjoys. On top of that he has read many books and has his own youtube channel.
This is the age we live in. We can advertise ourself so well with technology that the audience won't question whether you are qualified or not, but instead they will trust you from the content you have created. I pray I can learn from this mindset and influence others to do the same.
As you might not be aware of I moved to Chicago about 6 months ago. and well WOW! This place is amazing. The summers here are INSANE!! On the contrary I actually have a guilty pleasure of the snow. People here are super friendly with the occasional off scenarios. Transportation is as well amazing. I couldn't imagine a more functioning city. I am blessed to be here.
“A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. He would have to ask an engineer to do it for him.” –Gordon Lindsay Glegg
I often ask myself which one would I find more interesting Data Engineering or Data Science? Although I'm sure I would enjoy both, this question always has burned in my mind. A question that is tough to have an answer for. Tough until we take a step back and realize one thing: Scientists discover, while engineers build. So the question of do I want to explore data or build it is a more straight forward question. This could also be misleading however, since building data requires a little exploration and vice versa. Nonetheless, I often find myself searching through data to fix it, to build something better, and to optimize the situation. What is the end goal? Are you trying to build an amazing tool to enable people to explore, or you trying to explore to discover some new insight? If you can answer this question I think you would have your answer.
Kudos to the following article for helping me understand: https://towardsdatascience.com/who-is-a-data-engineer-how-to-become-a-data-engineer-1167ddc12811
More specifically the quote: “A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. He would have to ask an engineer to do it for him.” –Gordon Lindsay Glegg
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” ― Will Rogers
I have lived in Chicago for about a month and a half (give or take). It is very fun, but I am starting to miss Texas. I am missing things like: family, cheap drinks at sports bars, and friends. It is tough starting over in a distant location. It is also tough finding good prices for drinks around here.
Today I realized that staring is the first sign of loneliness, or perhaps the desire for a social interaction. I find it baffling how nonverbal signs can tell the truth about how one feels, despite whatever words are said. For example, someone staring at another person might feel awkward and say "I'm sorry", however they are not sorry, but instead they want to communicate. They just don't know what to say (the social notion that communication has to be filled with words).
But not knowing what to say isn't a bad thing. Why does every conversation need words? Silence is a beautiful thing. I guess silence could be taken as "awkward" in some people's eyes. Which is a funny notion, since each person can leave the silence at any time, making the silence a beautiful thing. Silence shows that two people want to be next to each other, and they don't need words to accomplish that. In fact, words sometimes take us away from the moment instead of pulling us in.
Reading is good, not only for learning, but also for working on one's focus. The more focus the bigger things that can be accomplished.
I wanted to prove to not only myself, but the world that I can put a picture inside of my blog. What better picture to chose than a chicken? Chickens are the supreme wing man. They support us 100%. Whether they are giving us their eggs, their own meat, or trying to wake us up in the morning, they live their lives helping us out. Thank you chickens for your support. I also apologize that animal cruelty exists. You should get to live a happy and enjoyable life before you are sacrificed into the bellies of an obese culture.
Sometimes challenges come down to action. An example is leg day. Leg day is not easy. To get the results leg day brings, you just need to do it. I know each rep you get closer to death, and it is not very enjoyable (or at least until it is over). More thinking will not make it miraculously easy. More strategy will not somehow reveal some undiscovered truth. It is action alone that will get the job done.
"We're sprinting a marathon today boys." Justin Stone.
My manager (or technically lead analyst), a great mentor, has always showed me the ropes. I have been fortunate to have his company, and for him to share his wisdom with me. He mentioned today about work pace. A very interesting topic that can be extended to activities beyond just work. My best view of production is consistent progress each day; fully energized and focused at every moment (or as close as one can get). But I think there is something unwritten with productivity. Breaks are okay. Breaks are necessary and not all tasks require a 100% sprint. Trust me. Have you ever tried to sprint a 400m dash? You can't do it. It is physically impossible. We can sprint a 300m dash. So how do we work around this? We sprint the 100m full speed (you need the acceleration), for the next 100-150m you go 85-90%. Then you finish the last 150-200m at 100%. With this wisdom a high level of efficiency can be met. Also all the babes will be met too, because efficiency is sexy.
"There are two days in your life. The day you turn 21, and the day you meet Trevor." Trevor Joplin.
Looks like I will be moving to Chicago. I visited the city recently, and the only thing I can say is that it is great! It is a complete change of pace (no car, no family, no friends). I am excited, nervous, scared, anxious, and any other emotion you can imagine. I will admit beyond the excitement of actually moving, having to sign and break a lease simultaneously is quite expensive. If you follow my steps you should be weary of the expenses. I think it will be worth it.
"Open up your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you are living?" Bob Marley
Patience is a good thing to have. Too bad I tend to lose my patience all the time. I get in a rush. Some might say I'm like an energizer bunny marching on the front lines. Beat by beat I never quit. If I have to slow down I never stop moving, and instead I'd rather go in circles. It is nice to have faith that no matter where we are as people that we have faith that we will be where we want to be. That and everything is going to be okay. Bob Marley was on to something.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
If you read this take a risk today. Or else.
I'm not going to lie taking a risk is tough. It is like jumping off a bridge. It builds up into that moment until you jump. Thinking too long can force you to back down. Poor execution can make you look like a fool. However the more we fail the more we learn. It is simple physics.
"Don't look forward, don't look backwards."
I was thinking today that it would be a strange society if we had to buy calories. Now this might not make any sense at first, but what I mean is that in order to purchase food you pay in calorie tickets. Then calorie tickets could be purchased by a 3rd source, namely a government. It would help regulate health in a society. For example, if someone wanted to buy a 100 calorie bag of chips they would have to use equivalent of 100 calorie tickets. Also if this fantasy did exist one could be awarded calorie tickets for working out or perhaps some other activities.
"Be so good they can't ignore you." Steve Martin
A lot of the time I forget to be happy. It sounds silly, but it is the truth. Sometimes happiness is tough to find, since its not a tangeable thing. However, sometimes it is just that easy. I find that when I use the 5 senses, I am blessed to have as a human to have, I find myself obtainig happiness easier. I challenge you to try it whenever you are feeling down. Really observe something, feel something, smell something, or listen to nature take its course. In the end our opinion is the only one that matters about ourselves, and we are in control of our own happiness.
"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away."
After I graduated from my undergraduate degree I was a little bummed out. I was bummed out becuase I wouldn't be apart of a university. I would no longer have access to the many resources for free. No more study groups, cute ladies, and old geezers. No more knockin back beers and watching jeopardy with my roommate. Without this what else is left?
Turns out it isn't the end. It never is. Even though I might be moving on to another phase of my life it doesn't mean I have to change who I am. I still can learn. I still can do all of those things I did before. I can do them better than before. In the end we can't let the chaos of our life's change let us lose the best part of us.
Also when we move on we have to accept that it is the best for us. That we are choosing to do it. We are in control of our choas, not the other way around.
"Live in the now."
The detail it has is unexplainable. The longer I look the more I understand it. Completely random, but true. It is not false, for if it was I could not see it. Flat. Brown. Smooth. It feels soft, or is it my fingers. Sliding my fingers over it makes no sense. What it looks like makes no sense. Why do I have this object in front of me? Why am I able to even feel or see this objects? Who cares. I can. I am more powerful since I can. And for a moment nothing mattered.
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live it's whole life beliving it is stupid."
Would you rather live your whole life feeling you are stupid, but actually be a "genius" in whatever you do. Or would you rather feel like a genius, but actually be "stupid" in whatever you do. I coin the words "genius" and "stupid" since they are subjective.
To truely grow we must feel uncomfortable. To be smart we must feel dumb. To be strong we must feel weak. And what comes after the struggle is up to us.
"Nature is pleased with simplicity."
The idea of a good picture to some people is a smile with a good outfit. But what does this picture tell? The truth isn't always smiles and nice outfits. Is the truth really so bad? Plus there is something creepy about smiles. The best picture is the one of reality. The one that tells a story. Capturing the true moment.
"When everything goes wrong, that's when adventure starts."
I'm not the best with relationships. I find myself in similar shoes alot of the times. Despite my happiness, I can't seem to help the other person find their happiness. It beats me up inside becuase life is meaningless without happiness.
I often find myself in relationships where the other person is unhappy. I feel selfish for being happy whenever it happens. A wise man told me that a question to ask every relationship is "are you happier together, or seperate?" a good rule of thumb to live by. Is it the case where I would be happier with her, and she would be happier alone? I think it comes down to my investment into the relationship. I think when one person invests more time into the relationship than another person it can become stressful for them. They feel forgotten. In order to truly love someone, one must want the loved one to be happy.
"Shoot for the Moon. Even if you miss, you'll settle among the stars."
Every once in a while we sell ourself short. Yes it sucks. I made a motto to keep rising. I have stayed true to that motto, and I feel I'm on the right path now. The path to the top of the ladder, nay to the next step of the ladder. When I reach the top I won't exactly know. Perhaps there is no top. Regardless I'm here to find out. I must push further.
"Excuses are the bricks that build a house of failure."
I lost my belt today. It was like family. I have no idea where he could be. He was such a nice belt too. He couln't have ran away, no that's not his personality. He was loyal, always there whenever I needed him. Now I am without him. No more perfect size pants. No more rushing to restroom and barely making it. No more spanking for my little brother. Life is just not the same. Belt, where ever you might be out there, just know I am coming for you.
Sometimes its nice to do nothing.
"One step at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time."
I'm finding out I'm addicted to math. While on the other hand one of my relatives is also struggling with an addiction. He has chosen to go into rehab to become a better person. I'm finding out addictions are a very strange thing.
I understand the ambition to feel good, but it is surprising on the things people will do to feel good. I guess what stops me from following the same path is 1) I don't have a source 2) I don't want to be dependent on objects.
Happiness goes hand in hand with unhappiness. I understand that a person cannot feel optimum happiness without felling some unhappiness. However, I do beleive a person can coast their happiness. By this I mean having a close to average amount of happiness throughout the whole day. Overall I think the ladder yeilds more happiness, and this is my reasoning: Any unhappiness can corrupt all of the happiness no matter how strong. In fact, the stronger the happiness I think makes the unhappiness even worse since they are being take away from it. For example, it is much more enjoyable to jog a mile than walk and sprint in the same amount of time.
I mainly coast my happiness with Basketball, Mathematics, and Friends.
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.'
I have been chasing too many dreams. I need to cut the excess out of my life and make it simple once more. A simple life is easy and enjoyable. I want to be a Data Scienties. I want to be a Student, a teacher, an actuary, a mathematician, a boyfriend, and a basketball player. No TeeJ you can't do all of these things and be happy/successful at all of them. So instead I have cut them out. Or most of them and I am left with being a boyfriend, an actuary/mathematician, and a guy trying to enjoy his activities/friends. My priorities are aligned. My schedule is flexible. My life is relaxed.
"You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, and your intentions create your reality."
I find the art of attraction quite strange. It is weird that we as people are attracted to one another, and actually unattracted to one another. It is something that is unexplainable. For instance, take a girl you have a crush on or your girlfriend. The first time you saw that person it was like... wow. For some reason they have something appealing. Something that causes you to not look away. Something that pulls in all of your attention. And in the end it is all subjective.
"The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going."
Having a plan and sticking to it can be the hardest part to succeed. It is why Hitler was able to accomplish what he did. Although cruel he did big things. It is possibly the reason why Trump was able to become president and possibly do what he said he was going to do. It makes me fear what could happen in the future. Trump is trying to build a wall, cut off free trade, and take away health care. What is this man trying to accomplish? Where does he see us in five years? The world is making way for him regardless of what happens. I fear that what he is doing is going to change the world in a negative way. Similar to losing a finger. Before we choose which finger, let's grab some popcorn and watch what happens next.
I'm looking at a peice of paper with the sun's rays shining on it. But not a straight glare more of an ocean of light. It is moving from left to right. Its path is as unpredictable as its beauty. Just free to go where it pleases. Constantly moving, stopping for nobody.
I am not sure if I have already mentioned how small my bladder is. It is ridiculous. I literally have to go to the restroom 3 times per hour some days. There actually was a time that I had to go back to the rest room while walking back from the rest room. Maybe there is something wrong with it. Nah I doubt it, I'm awesome.
"Life is not a matter of having a good hand, but playing a poor hand well."
Today I was driving to work and of course a cop puts on his lights behind me. The first thing that went through my mind was who is he going to pull over now? I have always heard he picks on the weakest link, so I wasn't about to pull over to the right lane where he was driving. That would be like taking a bullet for a stranger I don't know. A stranger who thought his outdated hunk o metal was faster than my sweet slick speedster. Instead I stayed in my lane away from the cop, and he passed me. Sometimes the game is all about confidence. Today I won.
"If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything."
I realize that I need to stand up for what I love doing. I need to live for my passion. To be more clear I need to find the thing that I am willing to give up short term pleasure over. One thing I find short term pleasure in is video games. I always love playing video games/ puzzles. It is who I am since I am a mathematician. However there has only been one thing I have had the ambition to give up video games for: learning math. I love to learn math and I need to follow my passion. When I retire I hope I never lose my passion to learn math without replacing it by something else that is just as awesome.
"Work hard dream big."
I have been brainstorming about remaking my GitHub. It would be nice to try to create my own website. If I were to create this hypothetical website I would have to have a homepage and side tabs. I think I would format it into the following tabs: Homepage (the_TeeJ) the about me. The side tabs would be labeled respectively (the_Mathematician, the_Programmer, the_Books, and other ideas I think of). Some other ideas I have thought about including are statistics, however I have not developed the statistic skills to fully develop my own tab. In the programmig tab I want to complete SPOJ problems while the mathematician tabs I can write the answers to the mathematic books I read. This is just a work in progress and I want to use GitHub until I decide whether to build this website or not.
"Leadership isn't about being great, it is about enabling others to be great."
Who are you? It is a question that is hard to answer. I am human. Yes, a hard question to answer. How we define ourself is how we carry ourself. I like to think somedays that I am a computer programmer. Somedays a mathematician. Others a goof. However nothing really defines me. So how does one classify who they are in one sentence: you make your own definition. So I conclude with my answer to this question. Who are you? I AM TEEJ! An answer so simple, yet so complex. In a professional sense it is a lack of information. In a casual experience it is a lack of experience. Instead this is an answer that one has to obtain their own view, since it is I who will never be able to tell you who I am or what I will mean to you in the future. But I can tell you I AM TEEJ!
"The hardest part sometimes is waiting"
Moments come and go. I can be impatient at times. Actually alot. Life now is different from being out of school. In school I was able to recieve constant feedback, and take multiple courses at once. In a way I was able to feel like I was capable of doing everyting and work my own schedule. However outside of school the choices I make I must be twice as patient with. I receive less feedback, I am not as in control of my own schedule, and I am capable of doing few objectives outside of work. It makes me feel indecisive. If I choose math I won't be able to program. If I program I won't be able to do finance. If I do this I won't... In reality I just need to relax. I need to take one step at a time, and trust that the decision I have made will pay off. The hardest part sometimes is waiting.
"Beleive in your dreams. They were given to you for a reason." by Katrina Mayer
For once I can see my future clearly. I see my new apartment and my potentially new job. Now what job exactly I won't be able to mention, however I can tell you that I will continue to have the "AHA!" moments I had in college while carrying myself in a professional manner. Now for my new apartment it is awesome. Tidy and fancy. Quality over quantity. A minimalist's apartment. It is nice to have this picture in my mind where I am headed. It makes moving forward exciting and easy. It is what I have read can be viewed as a mental model. I hear that mental models help execution through productivity and accuracy. The catch is things never go according to planned. They usually haven't in the past, and I doubt it will be like that in the future. Nonetheless it is nice to dream. While dreams change, actions resonate permenantly.
"Talk less, say more."
One of my buddies in college, a great guy, introduced me to writing. At first I was offput. All the writing classes I had taken in the past I didn't enjoy very much, and I wasn't the best at grammer (I know its grammar). Until he mentioned something that I would never forget. He said writing long stories isn't that interesting, but being able to say what you want to say with just one sentence or sometimes less now that is interesting. Then it hit me that is it. I didn't like writing because I always dreaded the parameters. In the past the teachers would always stressed that the paper needed to be x amount of pages in legnth. The format had to be exact. Doesn't this take away from english? English is about creativity. It is about expressing the same idea in completely different ways. It is about goblins trying to take out a bunch of dwarves in a tree (for those Hobbit fans). Nonetheless, Less is more. Less is more when it is higher quality. And in my opinion more is less and takes away from the quality of the rest. For example, go to a buffet and eat everything you can find. The food you thought was your favorite makes you cringe and tastes terrible on a full stomach. However on an empty stomach it gives you feelings that warms your blood.
"Success is a journey not a destination."
It is insane how a person's life can change overnight for the better or the worse. For me my life has changed overnight. I was struggling to be able to do big things and make a difference in the world. Finding a purpose so to say. Minutes before finding my purpose I doubted myself. I felt powerless. And no longer than an hour later my world completely changed. I don't believe in sudden change, but I do believe in checkpoints. Whenever a person does something great, and keeps doing something great eventually he will aquire what one might call success. Nonethelss I am excited for my new journey. I am excited to take the new path I doubted could exist.
"My mind is telling me no, but my body my body is telling me yes." A song somewhere in the world.
I am going to admit it I have failed. I have failed at letting the world know who I am and how I feel about things. Now this might sound crazy to hear becuase alot of the time nobody cares to hear others opinions. At the end of the day they are irrelevant. However whenever it is someone close, then it is much different. With someone close we share feeling, moments, and stress. I have failed on my close friends and girlfriend because I can't speak up on how I feel about things. To be honest I didn't completely fail on my friend. It felt so wierd because I called him out. I felt so nervous, but through the end we became closer. Conflict sometimes puts two people on the same page. It is like a bump in the road. It might make a big noise, but once the noise is over everything is back to normal. Most of the time better.
Where I really failed was whenever I wasn't straight forward about my feelings. Whenever I am not straight forward about my feelings I tend to change my mind last minute. But now that it has been done how can I prevent things like this from happening again? Speak up? Write more? It gets very confusing. I wish I had the wisdom to these problems. Perhaps I'll master them through parenthood.
Hello,
I would like to write to you the axioms of professionalism. The rules to follow in the workplace. Let me start:
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Do not say anything negative. People do not have time for negativity. It is unproductive.
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Do not do the same task twice without becoming better. Each task should be a project. A way to make it quicker. A way to learn more.
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Learn from others. Everyone is a genius. Find out how.
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Respond ASAP. As soon as you receive a message take care of it. People are the number one asset.
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Reread and Rewrite. Nothing is completely finished. It can always be documented better. (More organized, quicker, more efficient)
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Be better than your supervisor. Create a legacy. A long line of brilliance.
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Nothing is a final draft unless it is 100% accuracy. A final draft is perfect. Needs to be perfect.
Thank you for listening to what I had to say. I hope I did not forget to include any other axioms.
Sincerely, TJL
I would like to take a second to bring up financial responsibility. I assume that most people try to live within their means. However a lot of us want to be able to live above our means. To be able to do anything we want no matter how ridiculous it is. In order to do this we have to be financially responsible. We have to use our money for the important things in life. If you try to buy everything surely you will go broke. It is like choosing your friends. You can only spend your time with so many people.
Time is another resource we must be aware of. Time and money are the decisions we make that enable us to become ourselves. It is just because how the economy works. I mean surely you can get away without money, but the lifestyle is not one I want to talk about. Also I would like to mention that I am not talking about a lifestyle with an overabundance of money either. Just the average Joe. I guess even that is ambigious. Rich and poor are relative to the person.
Nevertheless, we need to harvest our time and money to maintain an adventure. It is like coasting. Sailing if you will. Don't lean too much to one side or the other. That doesn't mean don't lean at all. The direction is the one of your choosing. But just don't tip over. Becuase once you get wet you can't get unwet. Now what does it mean to get wet? It means to spend the money you don't have. Don't spend the money you don't have unless it is leverage for a great opportunity. By this I mean student loans are good and car loans/ mortgages are bad.
At the same time you should be the bank. Don't expect that banks are the only ones who can give out loans. Bonds and stocks and what not are esentially the citizen's form of giving business loans. But be careful.
Mathematically speaking you can get a loan for $10. Let us say that you will owe $10.30 at the end of the year. Then you can buy a $10 hat for $10.30. Not to mention to make that $10 you were taxed by the government from your income that you made from your job and once again for the purchase. That or you can invest your $10 for $10.30 at the end of the year, and realize that you have more money to invest next year and didn't have to spend the $10. It might not seem like a lot, but once we build a great chunk it will grow so fast that we can live off of it. For example, let us say we ended up with $10,000. In the same scenario we could buy a $10,000 car for $10,300 orrrr we could have $300 extra dollars to save next year. Staying at 3% interest how much would we need to save to make $20,000 a year? About $666,666.67. Hmmmm that isn't so bad... So the goal is to keep the stash growing!!
Now this might sound crazy, but what if you children could not withdraw the money. Instead that received the income. It wouldn't take too long to double the money. In fact if the child received it whenever they were born they could probably double it by 18. So the legacy could keep going, and then would your family ever have to work again? I guess it depends on how you live.
It seems that as I go through my daily routine I crave something more. More adventure, more risk, more heartbeats. Most of the lack of excitement is coming from the fact that I live in a city with the median age 7 years older than I am. I am in a place where people raise children and retire. I'm sure if you took the variance of the ages it would be very high. This is the opposite of what I desire from a city. From a place I call home.
It is terrible because I love my job. I love my team. Some of the greatest people I have been surrounded by, and I am blessed to be able to learn from them. I have noticed I am coming close to the 2 years of experience mark. This is a huge opportunity for me to move to a city where the variance of the age is lower and the median age is closer to mine. I know this sounds a little insane to judge a city based on the age of the people. Age is just a number. But it does make a difference.
I have had a down to earth conversation with my girlfriend multiple times, and we want to take the next step by going to an exciting city. We have our eye on a few great locations: Chicago, Portland, San Francisco, Austin, and New York City. I have no idea what is next for me. I am excited though. I can't wait to take the next leap. To raise my heart rate. To find more risk. To have an adventure.
As we live life we can continue to make the "safe" choices and be in a very comfortable situation. However too much comfort neglects the challenges we face as people. The challenges that cause us to grow and dream.
Everyone has different a different source of motivation. Some that come to mind are money, ability to provide for the family, intellectual curiosity, to help others, and many others. I am having trouble finding mine. I do know I love solving puzzles though.
In college it seemed like I found that I love solving puzzles. It is my life passion, and the puzzles I solved were strictly intellectual driven. It didn't matter how much money I made from each problem. It just mattered that I understood. There was a self merit I conquered when solving these problems. I was financially free and completely distracted from life.
After graduating college I was 40k in debt. I couldn't ignore such a thing, so my new motivation was gaining control of my life once again. The feeling I thought I had while I was in college. The feeling of being able to walk into a coffee shop open a book and start crunching away at math problems for 4-6 hours straight. The feeling of control and self competition to understand.
I have found myself moving towards Business. More specifically finding impacts of data, and there have been so many admirable problems I have solved/attempted to solve. I still have the passion for puzzle solving, but now I try to align my puzzle solving with generating revenue to pay off my debt, and hopefully build a fortune to be financially free again. I can't help but notice the second motive of generating revenue is a distraction to my puzzle solving. That at the end of the day if my puzzle solving doesn't make a business impact it serves no purpose. As all stages in life has its ups and downs this one can take a toll.
I absolutely love solving puzzles, and as I move deeper into data analytics there are two career paths that open up: Data Scientist and Business Analyst. Wow two great options! But the one thing that boggles me down is that I will be at the bottom of the chain. In a way I want both. I want to be able to crunch the algorithms to make the business decisions and rinse and repeat. The business analyst although seems like they make more of a business impact, they are simply presenting the ideas to be made. While the data scientist has all these fancy tools, they can move far away from the actual goal (the puzzles to be solved can bring no business impact).
So I will eventually have to a decision one day. Do I want to comprimise my puzzle solving for the business?
I have this dream that one day I can be the person that stocks up his own computing service and provide the end to end service from Data storage and cryptography all the way to making an impact in the world. This day and age data is starting to become an asset. It would be interesting to invest in data, and to see what can be possible. That or I can go back to my college days of financial freedom to spend my days solving puzzles.
Fred is an eveverday man. Actually he is the everyday man, and doesn't realize it. He is caught so far in the pack that he does not realize he is in the pack. Nonetheless, Fred is like most typically everyday man and wants more for himself. Okay let's help Fred strive for more.
Fred stops eating sweets gaining control of his blood sugar levels. No more car, instead he rides a bike helping increase his everyday energy. Milk and Butter? Nope, beans and potatos, so gains more money and discipline. It's okay though he still has his oatmeal. He still has his gym membership. His friends and family haven't left him, so he still has them. Okay so now Fred is making a leap, but he still has not reached the next level. He must continue the pace to cut down, while continuing to strive for more.
Why keep going? The less he has the more he realizes that he doesn't need more. Actually his ambitions to be rich has a clear path. He has to say no to expensive habits and be patient. If that doesn't outweigh the costs of being rich then he will make it. If he wants he can become rich. But who would really wants that? There has to be a bigger purpose. That's when Fred makes the decision of what the purpose of his life is, and moves in that direction.
Would you rather have it all, but not use it; or use it all and have none?
I don't beleive that there is a such thing as right or wrong. It is all the perspective of the person. Often we see the bad guy in movie films, and since our beliefs contrast with their desires we see them as the bad guy. We assume they are wrong. However that is arbitrary, since life isn't build off of right and wrong. It just is. Every action has a price that will need to be paid before or after.
Now you might say well that is a little dark, TeeJ. However I think it is anything but dark. Since life just is we can craft it and make our own difference. We don't craft the world to be right or perfect, but instead our vision of what we think would be a better place. This is what setting dreams and making a difference in the world is about.
However not everyone will agree with your difference. So one cannot lose faith in their dreams. It is not bad to change the vision, but to give up is very horrible. People used to kill each other over their vision of a better world. I pray that everyone's fight to make the world in their eyes the best place they can imagine never dies.
Find your dream. Find your pack. Make a difference.
Surround yourself by people you want to become. There are so many great people in the world. Of course this is all prospective of the person.
I can often at times be so indecisive. Especially when it comes down to my profession. We spend most of our lives working, so we have to love it right? Okay so we have to at least be able to handle the ups and the downs. I've often seen doing anything for too long can make an activity grow stale. The challenge can vanish.
Indecisiveness is solved through gut instinct. When we overthink things we go against our gut instinct, and it wastes time we could actually be doing that activity we enjoy.
Our bodies naturally feel something special whenever risk is involved. The chances of failing gives me somewhat of a fearful anxious feeling. This feeling is the feeling worth living for. Although at time can be overwhelming, it is usually a good indicator I am pushing myself into a new beginning where more dreams will come and more friends will be made.