quotes

 Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.
 Artoo says that the chances of survival are 725 to 1. Actually Artoo has been known to make mistakes... from time to time... Oh dear...
 [on Han's escape plan] I really don't see how that is going to help! Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances! The Empire may be gracious enough to...
 Sir, it's quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable.
 Excuse me sir, but might I inquire as to what's going on?
 Impossible man.
 The odds of successfully surviving an attack on an Imperial Star Destroyer are approximately...
 Sir, If I may venture an opinion...
 Don't blame me. I'm an interpreter. I'm not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal.
 Oh. They've encased him in Carbonite. He should be quite well protected. If he survived the freezing process, that is.
 I knew all along. Had to be a mistake.
 What are you doing? Trust him, trust him!
 It sounds like Han!
 I'm terribly sorry about all this. After all, he's only a Wookiee!
 Oh, yes, that's very good, I like that... Oh!
 Well, now, something's not right, because now I can't see!
 Oh, oh, that's much better. Wait... wait. Oh, my! What have you done? I'm BACKWARDS. You flea-bitten furball! Only an overgrown mop-head like you would be stupid enough to...
 If I may say so, sir, I noticed earlier the hyperdrive motivator has been damaged. It's impossible to go to lightspeed.
 [Interrupting Han and Leia kissing] Sir. Sir, I've isolated the reverse, power flux coupling.
 Oh you're perfectly welcome, sir.
 I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me.
 Of course I've looked better.
 Master Luke, Sir, it's so good to see you fully functional again. R2 expresses his relief also.
 No! We're not interested in the hyperdrive on the Millenium Falcon, it's fixed!
 Just open the door, you stupid lug!
 I never doubted him for a second! Wonderful!
 I'm terribly sorry about all this. After all, he's only a Wookiee.
 Sir, I don't know where your ship learned to communicate, but it has the most peculiar dialect.
 [about Lando] 
 Don't worry about Master Luke. I'm sure he'll be all right. He's quite clever, you know... for a human being.
 [R2 is outside the Hoth base, scanning the area] You must come along now R2. There's really nothing more we can do. And my joints are freezing up.
 Don't say things like that! Of course we'll see Master Luke again! And he'll be quite all right, you'll see!
 Stupid little short-circuit! He'll be *quite* all right.
 Pulverized?
 I didn't ask you to turn on the thermal heater. I merely commented that it was freezing in the princess's chamber...
 But it's SUPPOSED to be freezing! How we are ever going to dry out her clothes, I really don't know!
 [in 1997 Special Edition only] Oh, this is suicide! There's nowhere to go.
 That sounds like an R2 unit in there! I wonder if... Hello? How interesting.
 Oh, my! I... I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. No, please don't get up.
 [Chewbacca is carrying the dismembered C3PO on his back] If only you'd attached my legs, I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position. Now remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so don't do anything foolish!
 Now don't you forget this! Why I should stick my neck out for you is far beyond my capacity!
 Just you reconsider playing that message for him!
 No, I don't think he likes you at all.
 No, I don't like you either.
 I would much rather have gone with Master Luke than stay here with you. I don't know what all this trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault.
 You watch your language!
 Help! I think I'm melting! This is all your fault!
 [to R2-D2] This is all your fault.
 We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life.
 We've stopped. Wake up! Wake up!
 We're doomed.
 [translating for R2] He says he's found the main control to the power beam that's holding the ship here; he'll try to make the precise location appear on the monitor.
 The tractor beam is coupled to the main reactor in seven locations. A power loss at one of the terminals will allow the ship to leave.
 Where could they be?
 Use the comlink? Oh my! I forgot, I turned it off.
 Are you there sir?
 We've had some problems...
 [to R2-D2] No! Shut them *all* down, hurry!
 Listen to them, they're dying R2! Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough, it's all my fault! My poor Master.
 Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.
 We're doomed.
 He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
 But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
 I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2
 Is there anything I can do?
 Master Luke, sir. Pardon me for asking, but what should R2 and I do if we're discovered here?
 That isn't very reassuring.
 It wasn't my fault, sir, please don't deactivate me. I told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning. Kept babbling on about his mission.
 I've just about had enough of you. Go that way. You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you near-sighted scrap pile. And don't let me catch you following me begging for help because you won't get it.
 That malfunctioning little twirp, this is all his fault.
 Did you hear that? They shut down the main reactor. We'll be destroyed for sure. This is madness.
 You must repair him! Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help, I'll gladly donate them.
 There'll be no escape for the princess this time.
 A transmission?
 Her only hope.
 What do you mean we'll be making a slight detour?
 [the Starspeeder 1000 crashes into the back of a Naboo fighter, its long tail smashing through the wind sheild; a Pit Droid grumbles] What do you mean we broke your ship? You broke our view port.
 And I did not give you permission to come aboard.
 May the Force be with you.
 [to R2-D2] They're not going the wrong way, WE are, you nitwit!
 Look, there's a platform. Let's land there.
 [to R2-D2] What do you mean we're taking a slight detour?
 [while flying under water] And I thought I hated space travel.
 1401? That's us. We can't take off. The captain isn't on board.
 Wait!
 Don't shoot!
 I'm afraid there's been a terrible mistake! I am C-3...
 [depending on the gender or age of the spy] I have never seen that man/woman/person before!
 I have no idea!
 [the speeder is teetering over a steep cliff] Nobody move.
 I mean, everybody move! Lean back!
 The spy!
 [to the passengers] I'm afraid we've all just joined the Rebel Alliance.
 [Underwater, the StarSpeeder 1000 passes over Jar Jar Binks] We nearly hit that poor Gungan.
 [R2-D2 beeps] What transmission?
 The Spy.
 [R2 beeps] R2-D2, what are you saying? This is madness!
 [arriving over the planet Geonosis] This can't be right.
 That dreadful bounty hunter!
 Safe, but perhaps a little shaken.
 I rather like the sound of that!
 Now be careful out there - all of you! The Empire is watching.
 Pardon me, but how do we get back to a Star Tours terminal? Hello?
 [rapidly approaching a repair dock on Naboo] Brakes! Brakes! Where are the brakes?
 I have a bad feeling about this.
 Thrusters? Are they important?
 [after an ad for Naboo] I found those Gungans somewhat annoying.
 Not just Jar Jar, all of them.
 Umm... yes.
 I am fluent in over six million forms of communication, and can readily...
 Disintegrated?
 Exciting is hardly the word I would choose.
 R2, why did you have to be so brave?
 What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did? He never expressed any unhappiness with my work.
 I never knew I had it in me.
 It sounds dangerous.
 I have decided that we shall stay here.
 I do believe they think I am some kind of god.
 I beg your pardon General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper.
 It's against my programming to impersonate a deity.
 His high exaltedness, the Great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately.
 You will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea, and cast into the pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlaac.
 In his belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.
 I'm rather embarrassed, General Solo, but it appears that you are to be the main course at a banquet in my honor.
 But, Master Luke, what magic? I couldn't possibly...
 He says the scouts are going to show us the quickest way to the shield generator.
 Wonderful. We are now a part of the tribe.
 At last, Master Luke's come to rescue me!
 [to R2D2] If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short circuit.
 Oh. Well, yes.
 I've had the most peculiar dream.
 This is such a drag.
 I'm quite beside myself.
 Master Owen, may I present two most important visitors?
 DIE, Jedi dogs. Oh... what did I say?
 Oh my goodness! Shut me down. Machines building machines. How perverse.
 He says he has a message from an Obi-Wan Kenobi, Master Anakin. Do you know what he's talking about?
 What's all this? A battle? There must be some mistake! I'm programmed for etiquette, not destruction!
 For a mechanic, you seem to do an incessant amount of thinking.
 [to Anakin] The maker has returned!
 I'm programmed for etiquette, not destruction!
 Don't you think it might be imprudent to trust him so quickly, sir?
 It is indeed true that at times like this R2 and I wish we were more than mechanical beings and we were really alive so we could share your feelings with you.
 What about me? I'm going to shake apart.
 And hurry, R2, or we'll be desert soon.
 I'm afraid, sir, it's because you said Boba's a friend and faithful ally. That does not feed properly into R2's information bank.
 We've intercepted a message between Boba and Darth Vader, sir. Boba Fett is Darth Vader's right-hand man. I'm afraid this whole adventure has been an Imperial plot.
 I beg your pardon, sir. Chewbacca suspected all along there was something bad about Boba.
 May I quote directly, sir? "He just didn't smell right."
 I beg your pardon, but what do you mean, "naked?"
 My parts are showing? Oh, my goodness, oh!
 I can assure you they will never get me onto one of those dreadful starships.
 [wobbling significantly as he starts walking] I am not sure this floor is entirely stable.
 Jar Jar, you great webfoot! You're squooshing my circuits!
 [uncomfortable] I wouldn't, um, know. Hm.
 I have a very bad feeling about this.
 I regret the transmitters on the ship are out of order.
 The ship has been destroyed.
 No.
 Jar Jar.
 She doesn't look like the Princess to me.
 She doesn't look like a princess.
 Excuse me, Master Luke, but where are we?
 [with Piggy, Link, and Strangepork] Oh, no, Derth Nader!
 Who?
 Well, you'll never get me to go back to that iceberg! I don't care how safe it is now, R2, it gives my motivators the chills just thinking about it.
 Don't insult me, you overgrown scrap pile!
 I do wish I could go with you to Endor...
 On second thoughts, I just remembered how much I hate space travel. You have a nice trip though, R2.
 Oh, dear.
 My lady, is there anything I might do?
 [walking away] I feel so helpless.
 What?
 Oh, no.
 Lost? Distracted? Oh, I cannot imagine where Master Anakin gets these ideas. You are the one who gets distracted.
 You most certainly do. You wonder off like a drunken Nuna. I have half a mind to recalibrate your focus incapasitors.
 Oh no. What have I done?
 I'm having a bad feeling about this. With your permission, Senator Padmé, I would like to shut down before I get sensory overload.
 Senator Padmé can be very hard to stop once she's made up her mind.
 R2-D2, oh my, you are a sight for short circuits!
 R2, are you quite certain the ship is in this direction?
 This way looks potentially dangerous.
 I know the whole play is dangerous! I suggest we stay here and let Master Anakin find us.
 Hm, it seems no one wants my company tonight.
 OH, NO! We're under attack!
 [looking out the hole] I don't believe my circuits! An army of droids, here? I'd like to have a serious talk with your programmers...
 We're doomed.
 [greeting Big Bird] Look, R2, there's our large, yellow bird friend. Hello, friend bird.
 [to R2-D2] What do you mean, "At least my creator wasn't Darth Vader"?