The purpose of this Repo is: Trying to figure out the connection between my depression and food
I do fine on meat and water and the occasional espresso with milk for weeks on end. When I try to mix in vegetables or carbohydrates, or refined sugar it takes about 4 days until depression is back and I'm haunted with suicidal thoughts, feelings of worthlessness, no energy, no emotions or too much emotion at once. Crying, paranoia and so on. The delayed reaction seems to point in the direction of fermentation in the gut or some sort of allergic reaction. (Allergy Test came back negative). Not always, but sometimes I get pain in my knee joints and more lower back pain as well. (I work sitting all day long i I'm not mindful). In 2017 - 2019 there would also be shortness of breath, but that didn't return at some point.
Domestic Violence at home before I got to elementary school, violence then stopped. Bullied by teacher in elementary school. Bullying stopped when I switched to secondary, lost connection to the only friend when parents split and I went to another school. Isolated loner ever since. Switched cities lived alone, learned a craft, followed by somewhat abusive relationship. Switched cities again, lived alone again, tried to study compsci. Saw friends every few months.
Summer 2012/13 Finally I figured I needed some kind of help, not sure what. The r/adhd subreddit told my life in a hundred stories. Smart kids failing at life. Got tested and diagnosed for add and heavy depression. Started therapy and strattera (psychiatrist wouldn't prescribe other things). Got 1 Rehab and one disability testing 50%. Today I know, my add is trauma-related and not genetic - I react to stimulants like normal ppl. And I can carry a conversation and stick to a topic if I want to.
Summer 2017, rehab ends, I'm going to be mentally disabled for the rest of my life, they tell me. Life feels hope- and pointless. Getting a dog and start training him to be a therapy dog. September 2017, I'm sick with a severe case of the flu and decide on a whim to try ketogenic diet. It's been mentioned a few times in depression forums and I haven't tried that yet. Despite being sick with the flu, within 4 days depression starts to lift and I don't know what to do with all that energy.
My close friends declare me crazy and stop talking to me when I told them, food is causing my depression. For financial reasons I prioritize meat over vegetables and the more I leave out the more sane I feel.
Ever since 2018 I'm trying to figure out what it is. I eat meat for a few days, I'm mentally fine. I eat somethign plant-based, I go back into depression and suicidal ideation. Today I'm signed up to become a specialist for allergies and food intolerance, in the hopes to find something that works.
It's mid 2024, I've found Dan Vas' Story on how he got poisoned, his symptoms matched with my own in some aspects and his solution was to prepare the gut with silicea and L-Glutamine and then introduce certain probiotica in stomach-acid-resistant capsules. That worked for me to some degree, and I'm able to eat green salad and low oxolate green veggies without getting paranoia. Currently looking for other probiotics, that might help with other anti-nutrients.