Trying to figure out the connection between depression and food
Domestic Violence at home before I got to elementary school, violence then stopped. Bullied by teacher in elementary school. Bullying stopped when I switched to secondary, lost connection to the only friend when parents split and I went to another school. Isolated loner ever since. Switched cities lived alone, learned a craft, followed by somewhat abusive relationship. Switched cities again, lived alone again, tried to study compsci. Saw friends every few months.
Summer 2012/13 Finally I figured I needed some kind of help, not sure what. The r/adhd subreddit told my life in a hundred stories. Smart kids failing at life. Got tested and diagnosed for add and heavy depression. Started therapy and strattera (psychiatrist wouldn't prescribe other things). Got 1 Rehab and one disability testing 50%. Today I know, my add is trauma-related and not genetic - I react to stimulants like normal ppl. And I can carry a conversation and stick to a topic if I want to.
Summer 2017, rehab ends, I'm going to be mentally disabled for the rest of my life, they tell me. Life feels hope- and pointless. Getting a dog and start training him to be a therapy dog. September 2017, I'm sick with a severe case of the flu and decide on a whim to try ketogenic diet. It's been mentioned a few times in depression forums and I haven't tried that yet. Despite being sick with the flu, within 4 days depression starts to lift and I don't know what to do with all that energy.
My close friends declare me crazy and stop talking to me when I told them, food is causing my depression. For financial reasons I prioritize meat over vegetables and the more I leave out the more sane I feel.
Ever since 2018 I'm trying to figure out what it is. I eat meat for a few days, I'm mentally fine. I eat somethign plant-based, I go back into depression and suicidal ideation. Today I'm signed up to become a specialist for allergies and food intolerance, in the hopes to find something that works.