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                            PUNCH AND JUDY,

                           With Instructions
                        How to Manage the Little
                             WOODEN ACTORS;

                               CONTAINING
                         New and Easy Dialogues
                        ARRANGED FOR THE USE OF
                      BEGINNERS, DESIROUS TO LEARN
                        HOW TO WORK THE PUPPETS.

                                --FOR--

             Sunday Schools, Private Parties, Festivals and
                         Parlor Entertainments.

                          BY THOS. A. M. WARD,
                            Attorney at Law.

                           JANESVILLE, WIS.:
                      VEEDER & LEONARD, PRINTERS,
                                 1874.




     Entered according to an Act of Congress, in the year 1874, by
                           THOS. A. M. WARD,
    In the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Eastern District
                            of Pennsylvania.




                                PREFACE.


The Invention of Puppet Shows, Tumbling and other public amusements,
carries us back to a period in history long anterior to the birth of
MOSES.

In fact, Games of Chance, as well as the sports and pastimes usually
enjoyed in their Plays, by the early people of Egypt, were in their
zenith in the reign of the RAMESES.

RAMESES the II. was a magnificent patron of letters as well as art.

The "Sacred Library," which Diodorus mentions, has been discovered in
his Palace, the Rameseum at Karnak.

Nine men of learning were attached to the person of this King, and at
their head was a certain KAGABU, as "Master of the Rolls," (Books) a man
"unrivaled in elegance of style and diction."

From the pen of this master, who may have helped to train the mind of
MOSES, the King's adopted grandson, in "all the learning of the
Egyptians," we still possess the oldest Fairy Tale in the world, a moral
story, resembling that of Joseph and his Brethren, composed for the
King's son Meneptha, who afterwards became the opponent of Moses, at the
time of the exodus of the Jews from Egypt.

Our object is not so much with the antiquity of shows, as it is directly
with the introduction of "PUNCH AND JUDY" into polite society; in proper
character, free from superfluous verbiage, and dressing the play in
phraseology commensurate with the progress of the age--good taste and
refinement.

The performance of PUNCH in the streets of European cities, unpurified
of the vulgar colloquies put into his mouth, by the man who works the
Puppets, would not for an instant be tolerated by the people of this
country.

"The Play of PUNCH AND JUDY," observes a writer in _Harper's Monthly_,
"was exhibited for a short time at a popular place of amusement in New
York City, in 1870, but did not take sufficiently with the audience to
induce the managers to go on with it."

The true cause of its failure, at the time, doubtless arose from the
vulgar and impure language, used by the fellow that worked the Figures.

Where the little Puppets have been properly conducted, the popularity of
the show has been unbounded.

With the assistance of Mr. Cruikshank's admirable illustrations, it may
be made the medium of the most amusing whimsicalities. We are told that
so grave and dignified a personage as an English Secretary of State is
certain to be, once paused on his way from Downing street to the HOUSE
OF COMMONS on a night of important debate to witness the whole
performance.




                             INSTRUCTIONS.

                      How to Perform the Puppets.


The Frame should be three feet long and two feet wide: there should
be a space of 16 inches high, between the stage, on which the Puppets
perform, and the top of the Frame, corresponding to the ceiling of
a room, from which a little curtain hangs and in all particulars
resembling a miniature theatre, with small wings on the sides, like the
scenes in a large theatre, and a curtain in front to drop, or slide
across the stage, at the end of each act, is necessary. Immediately
above the stage is a small stick running across the top, from which a
small fringe hangs, in the style of a curtain, between this fringe and
the top of the stage, is a space of 16 inches, for the Puppets to
perform.

The hight of the stage, or floor on which the Puppets move, from the
ground upward, must be regulated by the hight of the person performing
the Figures: the stage, therefore, should never exceed two inches higher
than the head of the person who stands behind it, inside of the Frame.
This will enable the performer to rest his hands on the back part of the
stage without being seen by the audience. Without this relief for the
hands to rest on, he could not be able to continue the movement of the
Figures to any length of time.

On one end of the Frame (the stage part) is a small socket, in which the
end of a movable gallows is fixed.

The whole of the Frame is covered outside with thick cloth, to conceal
all that may be done on the inside.

Three bags hang in front of the performer--extending across the Frame;
and on the right and left hand sides, are four more pockets--two on each
side--making seven altogether; about six or eight inches deep.

In these pockets are placed the little Wooden Actors. PUNCH and the
DOCTOR, occupy the same bunk. JUDY, with her child, and the dog TOBY
have a bunk to themselves. The CONSTABLE and JACK KETCH, room together.
The <DW64> and the DEVIL have separate berths.

The way to hold the Puppets in order to exhibit them to the public:

PUNCH is always held by the showman's right hand, his head is wood of
course, and should be five inches, allowing two inches for the length
of neck would make it seven inches long, five inches from the neck to
the top of the head, with a hole, for the finger to rest in, three
inches deep. Into this little hole in the head fits the showman's fore
finger while his second finger fits into PUNCH'S right hand, and the
exhibitor's thumb sets in PUNCH'S left hand. Thus, by the aid of the
exhibitor's fore finger and thumb, PUNCH is enabled to wield the club he
carries with such consummate dexterity.

JUDY is held by the left hand and managed in the same way: thus, when
the exhibitor has PUNCH and JUDY ready to commence the show they are
said to be well mounted.

How to make the dresses and to dress the Figures.--The dress of each
Puppet is a gown fastened around its neck about thirteen inches long,
on to this is sewed the coat, shirt, vest and pantaloons. Inside of
the gown the showman thrusts his hand for the working of the little
Actor--described above. The PUNCH Puppet, has a big belly and a haunch
on his back between his shoulders, which gives him the appearance of the
Lord Mayor of London.

The Play opens by the appearance of Mr. PUNCH who calls JUDY to his aid.
Here commences the dance by PUNCH and JUDY, who bow to the audience,
then to each other and at the sound of music move off in the dance.

It is not necessary that the feet of the Puppets should be seen,
consequently they are seldom brought into view.

The person inside the Frame when dancing the Puppets, must go through
all the capers he wishes the Figures to perform; and as he is entirely
concealed from view, he can be just as funny as he pleases; and in
proportion to his comic actions will the little Actors appear to the
audience.

And strange as it may seem should the exhibitor fail to carry out these
instructions, namely: of moving his body, so as to correspond with the
motions he wishes to give the Figures, the dance of PUNCH and his wife
would be flat--without fun or any interest whatever. Therefore, remember
and fail not to put in all the comic points, (motions) for in this lies
the secret of giving life and merriment to the PUNCH and JUDY Show.




                           Act 1. Scene 1st.


(PUNCH--_is heard below with a loud squeak: he makes his appearance from
the wing on the right hand side of the stage dancing and singing. Enter_
PUNCH.)

PUNCH.--Good day little people--how do you do? The funniest man I ever
saw was old JOE MILLER. But the smartest chap among them all was JACK
the GIANT KILLER.

The biggest thing on the ice is an Elephant--he is not a pretty
bird--and never travels without a trunk. The Pig is a smaller
bird--somebody shot his feathers all off.

JUDY, my dear, come up stairs.

(JUDY _answers from below._) I am coming darling. (_Enter_ JUDY.)
JUDY.--Mr. PUNCH, did you call me?

PUNCH.--I should think I did--had you been here sooner you would have
seen the man that lived in the "House that Jack built."

JUDY.--Did you see him?

PUNCH.--I only saw one side of him--that is why I wanted you here--you
could have stood on one side, and I on the other, and then we could have
seen the whole of him at one time. _He was orful!_

JUDY.--Mr. PUNCH, you are such a funny man: now let us have a nice
little dance.

PUNCH.--With all my heart. (_They join hands--bow to the audience--then
to themselves and step off, keeping time with the sound of the music._)

JUDY.--Mr. PUNCH, I am going down stairs to bring up the BABY. (_Exit_
JUDY.)

(PUNCH--_continues to dance--a <DW64> comes up slyly behind him and hits
him a heavy blow on the side of his head, and before_ PUNCH _gets a
glance at him, darts out of sight._ PUNCH _scratches his head, looks
about the stage--seemingly much perplexed--but is soon relieved by the
appearance of_ JUDY _with the_ CHILD. _Enter_ JUDY _with the_ BABY.)

JUDY.--Mr. PUNCH, here is our own little darling: you hold the child
while I go down in the kitchen and prepare dinner--mind you--don't you
slap or pinch it, to make it cry. (_He takes the Child. Exit_ JUDY.)

(PUNCH _sings_) "It is good to be a father," etc. (_He tries to make it
sit up--the Child cries--he again sings._)

    "Lullaby baby in the tree top,
    When the wind blows the cradle will rock."

Oh, you little tu-te-tutes--pretty bird, sit up. (_He takes it in his
lap and tries to make it sit up._) The baby want he mamma? yes, he does.
(_He becomes impatient at the noise of the Child._) If you don't stop
I'll give you a good spanking. (_Throws the Child up and catches it._)
Catchee, catchee, catchee! (_Child continues to cry and_ PUNCH _getting
angry throws it out at the window._) He! he! he! (_laughing and
singing_)

    I am not such an ugly man!
    The girls all laugh whenever they can--
    And they sing, 'there goes the ugly man!'

(_Re-enter_ JUDY.) JUDY.--Mr. PUNCH, where is the Child?

PUNCH.--Gone to sleep.

JUDY.--(_Looking around and not seeing it._) Where have you put it?--is
it in the cradle?

PUNCH.--No my dear, I put it into the soup.

JUDY.--PUNCH, where's that child? Tell me quickly.

PUNCH.--The Child cried and I dropped it out at the window.

JUDY.--I'll drop you on the floor--depend upon it--where is my stick?
(_Exit_ JUDY.)

PUNCH.--There she goes--three feet three inches and a chaw tobacco high.
(_He sings_) "there was an old woman who lived in her shoe--shoe--shew!"

(_Re-enter_ JUDY _with a stick; she comes in behind him and hits_ PUNCH
_a square blow on the back of the head before he is aware._)

JUDY.--You monster--I'll teach you how to hold a child--you nasty puke.

PUNCH.--So-o-oftly--JUDY my dear so-o-oftly! (_rubbing the back of his
head with his hands_) don't be a fool!

JUDY.--You'll drop my poor child out at the window will you? (_hitting
him continually on his head._)

PUNCH.--Don't JUDY--stop I tell you--a joke is a joke.

JUDY.--You cruel man--you think it is a joke do you--it is no joke with
me to have my poor dear child beat to death! I'll show you how to use a
child. (_Hits him._)

PUNCH.--I don't want to learn--are you in earnest?

JUDY.--Yes (_hit_) I (_hit_) am. (_hit._)

PUNCH.--Leave off I tell you. What! you refuse? do you?

JUDY.--I won't leave off. (_Hits him._)

PUNCH.--Very well my lady; now comes my turn. (_He snatches the stick
from her, and strikes her on the head while she runs about to different
parts of the stage to get out of his way._) How do you like that? old
gal, and (_hitting her_) that?

JUDY.--Mr. PUNCH, you ought to be ashamed of yourself to strike a woman!
a helpless woman like me--get out with you.

PUNCH.--If a horse kicks me I'll kick him back if I can--if a dog bites
me I'll bite _him_--_you take that_ (_hits_) and one more (_hits her
again--she falls to the floor; PUNCH is alarmed._) No, no; I won't hit
you again. JUDY (_he lifts her up_) don't cry--let's make up and never
quarrel again! (_He kisses her,_ JUDY _puts her arms around his neck and
lovingly forgives him._)

JUDY.--Don't you never strike me any more.

PUNCH.--No never! now my dear go down stairs and take care of the
baby--you be good to me and I'll be good to you. (_Exit_ JUDY. PUNCH
_sings_)

    I am a jolly shoe-maker my name is Dick Ale,
    I am a bit of a beast for I live in a stall,
    With an ugly old wife and a tortoise shell cat,
    I mend boots and shoes with a rat-a-tat-tat.

(_Re-enter_ JUDY.) JUDY.--Mr. PUNCH, have you seen Polly Hopkins?

PUNCH.--No I haven't seen her since she had the measles.

JUDY.--Well now since you are in such good humor let us join in a nice
little dance.

PUNCH.--Of woman kind I do admire but one and you are she my dearest
dear, therefore it shall be done. (_They bow to the audience, then to
themselves and dance off:_ PUNCH _singing the tune and both keeping time
to the music. Exit_ PUNCH _and_ JUDY.)

(_Enter DOCTOR and SERVANT._) DOCTOR.--He is not here (_to the negro_)
JOE, you go through the house--find Mr. PUNCH and tell him I want to see
him.

JOE.--Yes sir--I spec he is in de house. (_Exit_ JOE.)

(_Enter_ PUNCH, _who is addressed by the_ DR.) DR.--Is your name PUNCH?

PUNCH.--Yes I am PUNCH--who are you?

DR.--Well sir I am a Doctor.

PUNCH.--Why I am not sick!

DR.--That may be--I have restored to health your little child.

PUNCH.--DR. you are a good fellow. Come and see me some time when I am
not at home.

DR.--Mr. PUNCH, my charge for curing the child is fifty dollars.

PUNCH.--Sir: do you take me for the Bank of England?

DR.--Well, to be liberal with you I will throw off one half.

PUNCH.--I will not be outdone in liberality--I will throw off the other
half!

DR.--Mr. PUNCH, if you don't pay me I will send the sheriff for you.

PUNCH.--(_Looking for his stick--the_ DR. _flies for his life._) Lucky
for you old chap or I would have made a pill of you.

(_Enter_ Miss POLLY HOPKINS.) POLLY.--How do you do sir? I am looking
for the man who lived in the house that Jack built.

PUNCH.--(_aside_) Oh, good gracious what a pretty girl: in the language
of Shakspear, I am the man.

POLLY.--Why your name is Mr. PUNCH, I know you!

PUNCH.--Yes, (_aside_) how on earth did that little girl learn my name?
My little daughter, there are said to be one hundred rooms in my
house--but I never could find but ninety--where the other ten are I
never knew. But there are about one thousand big Norway rats who live in
this house--run riot all night and don't pay no rent. Three days ago I
wrote on a number of pieces of papers for the rats to leave--one of
these papers was put in every rat-hole in this house.

POLLY.--Have they left?

PUNCH.--_I don't hear no noise for two days_--I think they are making up
their minds to seek homes elsewhere.

POLLY.--Did you ever catch any of them?

PUNCH.--Oh, yes, bless you, I made a pot-pie of big fat rats but I could
not eat it. I never did like rats any way you can cook them.

POLLY.--What did you do with the pot-pie?

PUNCH.--I gave it to my wife's poor relations.

POLLY.--Mr. PUNCH, 'mother says you are my grandfather's great
uncle--when I was a little child you promised me a dollar!'

PUNCH.--I remember it, that was six years ago. (_He sings and dances._)
It is nice to be a father. (PUNCH _puts_ POLLY _through a course of
spelling._)

POLLY.--Uncle, you won't forget the dollar?

PUNCH.--No. Now I want you to spell sugar. (_She tries and fails._)
Follow me my child--now, s-u-g-a-r. (_She repeats the letters but fails
to tell what they spell._)

PUNCH.--What does that spell?

POLLY.--I don't know.

PUNCH.--What does your mother put in her tea?

POLLY.--A spoon!

PUNCH.--Bah! sugar my child.

POLLY.--Uncle, don't forget the dollar.

PUNCH.--I'll not forget it--now, POLLY, follow me--(_he proceeds and she
repeats_) m-i-l-k--what does that spell?

POLLY.--Sugar.

PUNCH.--No it don't: What do you get in your little mug every morning,
when you go round the corner, for your mother?

POLLY.--Whiskey!

PUNCH.--That will do, now go to bed. That child is more than seven years
old! _He starts_ POLLY _off to bed and as she makes her exit, she
exclaims_, Uncle, don't forget the dollar!

PUNCH sings--

    "Polly put the kettle on we will all drink tea,
    Barney let the girls alone and let them quiet be."




                                Act II.


(_Enter Policeman, accompanied by black_ JOE, _the_ DOCTOR'S _servant._)

JOE.--Yes sah, I know him--he can't fool dis child: (_looking about him
he espies_ PUNCH) dah he--dah he is! Dat him--dat's ole PUNCH.

PUNCH.--Here's a pretty brace of ducks. (_The Policeman at the sight of_
PUNCH'S _stick, sneaks off unseen by the <DW64>, leaving poor_ JOE _all
alone with_ PUNCH.)

JOE.--I ain't no duck.

PUNCH.--I am going to eat a live _nigger_ raw.

JOE.--Moses in de mountain--you don't catch dis child. (_Exit_ JOE.
PUNCH _lies down on the stage and while watching for the darkie falls
asleep._ JOE _slily crawls up to him and plants a fearful blow on the
right side of_ PUNCH'S _head; and suddenly dodges out of sight._ PUNCH,
_springs up but too late to get a sight of his enemy, he conceals
himself behind the scenes and remains on watch._ JOE _slily crawls up to
his side of the stage and conceals himself behind the curtains. But_
PUNCH _sees him and crawling over unseen, on his hands and knees, to_
JOE'S _corner, returns for his club--as before--returns and hits the
<DW64> an awful blow and flies to his own corner._)

JOE.--You nasty ole turkey nose--I'll catch you yet--I'll put hot lead
in your ear. (JOE _hides behind the curtain._)

(PUNCH _crawls over to_ JOE'S _side again and deals him two blows in
rapid succession._ JOE _falls down and_ PUNCH, _supposing the fellow to
be dead, throws him over the stage; and then sings,_

Oh, lay me in my little bed.                             (_Exit_ PUNCH.)

(_Enter_ BLIND MAN: _at the same time an_ IRISHMAN _from the opposite
side of the stage._)

IRISHMAN.--Is your name PUNCH?

BLIND MAN.--No, I am blind.

IRISH.--Sure, and how should I know that? troth I would rather see than
be blind--it is an unlucky counthry--this that makes a man go blind
before he gets hungry--bad luck to the day I left Ireland. (_Exit_
IRISHMAN.)

(_Enter_ PUNCH.) PUNCH.--Ah, is that you BLINDY. Where are you from
last?

BLIND MAN.--From beyond the sea.

PUNCH.--Old man, you used to be good at jumping once, how is it now?

B. M.--I was something of a jumper in my day.

PUNCH.--(_Leading him to an old well._) Now, here is a level place, let
me see how far you can jump--there's a half a dollar for you.

(B. M. _gets ready, makes a jump and lands at the bottom of the well._)

B. M.--Help--help, help me out, I am blind!

PUNCH.--Stick to it old fellow--keep the thing going and I will go for
assistance. (_He starts off, singing._)

    "Down in the coalmines underneath the ground,
    Where a gleam of sun-shine never can be found,
    Digging dusty diamonds all the season round:
    Down in the coalmines underneath the ground."

                                      (_Exit_ PUNCH. _End of Act II._)




                                Act III.


               (_Enter_ ALDERMAN MALLEN _and_ CAPT. FRANK.)

FRANK.--He is said to be a mighty smart man, but I think we can take
him.

ALD. M.--Well, if we can't no one else need try.

(_Enter_ PUNCH, _singing._)

    For I am one of the olden time,
    And may be thought too gay,
    Like Jersey Sam the Farmer's man,
    Hurrah! hurrah! hurra.

FRANK.--Leave off your singing, Mr. PUNCH, for we have come to make you
sing on the other side of your mouth.

PUNCH.--Well sir, who are you?

FRANK.--Don't you know me?

PUNCH.--Never saw you before.

FRANK.--That is all gammon: I know you well enough; I had a pretty hard
fight with you once.

PUNCH.--I always like a man better after I have fought with him. Who
sent you here?

ALD. M.--You are wanted at the Mayor's office. Col. Wood says you once
killed a Policeman in Chicago.

PUNCH.--No body cares for that. I won't go.

FRANK.--Besides, you killed the DOCTOR'S servant, black JOE.

PUNCH.--He killed me.

ALD. M.--How can that be?

PUNCH.--I was dancing by myself and the fellow came up behind me and
knocked me down--if you don't believe it, I can show you how it was
done.

ALD. M.--Well, for one, I should like to see about how it was done.

(PUNCH _hits him a heavy blow on the side of his head and suddenly makes
his exit._)

(_The_ ALDERMAN _and the_ CONSTABLE _conceal themselves behind the
curtains and remain on the watch for their enemy._)

ALD. M.--I say FRANK, he is a tricky old fellow.

FRANK.--Yes, one wants to be on his guard. He is as quick as lightning,
but we must take him--cost what it may, and we have got to do it before
he reaches the engine house, on the corner of 10th and Filbert street,
the firemen are all friendly to him--so are the children of the city.

ALD. M.--I'll take him if I have to summon the whole of the Fourth Ward.

(PUNCH _is heard from below; the parties quickly conceal themselves
behind the curtain and await his approach. Enter_ PUNCH _singing._)

    Charley Buff has money enough,
    Charley Buff lives over the shore,
    And when he dies he'll close his eyes and never see money more.

(_At this part of the play the_ ALDERMAN _and the_ POLICEMAN _spring up
behind him and after a hard struggle they pin him in a corner, and
finally carry him off, while he lustily calls out,_ "Help! murder!" etc.
_End of Scene I._)

_SCENE II.--The curtain rises at the back of the stage, and discovers_
PUNCH _in Prison._

(JACK KETCH _enters with a gallows on his shoulders. He fixes it on the
platform of the stage, and exits._)

PUNCH.--There goes a hang-dog looking fellow whom they doubtless keep to
feed hogs--the fellow's face resembles a side of sole leather, with a
slit in it which he calls a mouth.

(_Enter the_ CONSTABLE. _He examines the Gibbet and exits._)

PUNCH.--There goes the man that stole the butcher's dog.

(_Enter two men with a coffin--they set it down on the platform and
exit._)

PUNCH.--Hello, there goes two scoundrels--body snatchers. What grave
have they been robbing?

(_Re-enter_ JACK KETCH.) JACK KETCH.--Now, Mr. PUNCH, you may come out.

(PUNCH _walks out._) PUNCH.--JACK, what have you got on your face?

J. K.--I wear a mask because I am the public executioner. It was my
ancestor who cut off the head of Ann Bowlin, Catherine Howard, Lady Jane
Gray and Mary, Queen of Scots, and now I am going to execute you--for
killing the DR.'S servant.

PUNCH.--No you don't, if you do I'll be hanged.

J. K.--Why did you kill old JOE?

PUNCH.--In self defence.

J. K.--PUNCH that won't do--you are too tough to live.

PUNCH.--JACK, the old devil will never get all that is due him, until he
gets you in his bony arms.

J. K.--That's all bosh: your time is nearly up. I want you to put your
head into this halter and I'll give you the best swing you ever had.

PUNCH.--JACK, if my head was in that rope, I would not take it out, but,
as it is out, I'll never put it in.

J. K.--Mr. PUNCH, be a good fellow--you are a considerable burden to me
and I want to get the load off my hands; oblige me by being hung, here
is the noose, just put your head in here.

PUNCH.--Through that place there? (_Pointing to the noose._) I don't
know how.

J. K.--It is very easy: only put your head in that loop,--here,--take
the noose.

PUNCH.--What so? (_Poking his head on one side of the noose then on the
other side._)

J. K.--Not so, you fool.

PUNCH.--Mind, who you call fool: try if you can do it yourself: only
show me how it can be done--old pestilence and I'll try.

J. K.--Very well; I will, you see my head and you see this loop. Put it
in, so. (_Putting his head through the noose._)

PUNCH.--And pull it tight, so! (_He pulls the body forcibly down, and
hangs JACK KETCH._) Huzza! huzza! (_PUNCH takes down the corpse and
places it in the coffin. Enter two men who remove the gallows and then
carry away the coffin containing the body of JACK KETCH and exit._)

PUNCH.--There they go; they think they have got me in that coffin. (_He
sings_)

    Let the wild world wag as it will
    I'll be merry merry still.
    Jack Ketch is dead and I am free
    I don't care if old Nick himself should come for me.

(_During his singing he beats time with his stick._)

    I am the man to manage them all,
    Here's a stick to thump old Nick,
    If ever he pays me a call.

(_Enter the_ DEVIL. _Peeps in at the corner, and exit._)

PUNCH.--(_Much frightened, and retreating as far as he can._) Oh dear!
oh Lord! What is that? That's old Nick, sure enough. (_The_ DEVIL _comes
forward._ PUNCH _stands on the defensive._)

PUNCH.--Keep off, Mr. DEVIL. (_The_ DEVIL _advances_) Look out for your
eyes. (_The_ DEVIL _darts at_ PUNCH, _who escapes and aims a blow at
him: the_ DEVIL _eludes it, as well as many other blows which_ PUNCH
_aims at him, laying his head on the platform, and slipping it rapidly
backward and forward, so that_ PUNCH _instead of striking him, only
repeatedly hits the boards. Exit_ DEVIL.)

PUNCH.--He, he, he! (_laughing._) He is off: He who runs away will live
to fight another day.

(_A noise in the background is heard._)

(PUNCH _alarmed by hearing a strange, whirring noise, like that made by
a spinning-wheel, retreats to the corner of the stage._)

(_Re-enter the_ DEVIL, _with a stick. He makes up to_ PUNCH, _who
retreats round the back of the stage, and they stand eyeing one another
and fensing at opposite sides. At last the_ DEVIL _makes a blow at_
PUNCH _which tells on the back of his head._)

PUNCH.--Take care of my head! What is that for? Old boy, can't we be
friends. (_The_ DEVIL _hits him again._ PUNCH _now begins to be angry._)
Well, if you won't be a friend, we will be enemies, now, old DEVIL. I
take the chances in this contest, your head or mine, we must try which
is the best man PUNCH or the DEVIL.

(_Here commences a terrific combat between the_ DEVIL _and_ PUNCH.
_Compared with which the fight between the French and the Prussians, if
you leave out the guns, was more than boy play. In the beginning,_ PUNCH
_has much the worst of it; but, at length succeeds in planting several
heavy blows in the small of the_ DEVIL'S _back. This weakens the old
Father of evil, and towards the conclusion_ PUNCH _drives his enemy
before him. The_ DEVIL _stunned by repeated blows, falls down, when_
PUNCH _kills him; and putting him on his shoulder carries him round,
exclaiming_,) Huzza! huzza! the DEVIL'S dead.




                            PUNCH AND JUDY!

    This amusing entertainment, comprises twenty-four little Actors
                 (wooden puppets), sixteen of which are

                          TALKING MARIONETTES,

               Perform all the parts of the Fairy Play of
                            PUNCH AND JUDY:

                  Introducing, therein, characters from

                LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, ROBIN HOOD, JACK
             THE GIANT KILLER, and the Funny Little Man who
                  lived in the HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT,

                   CAN BE SECURED ON REASONABLE TERMS
        For Evening Parties, Birthday Festivals, Sunday-schools,
                    Fairs, Societies, or Excursions.

         Communications by mail or otherwise promptly answered.
    Office. 821 Filbert Street, Philadelphia.
                                                  THOMAS A. M. WARD.


    D. H. ROCKHILL.                                  I. MILTON RAAB.
    SETH THOMAS.                                     WM. M. PURNELL.

                              SETH THOMAS.
                          ROCKHILL AND WILSON,
                         Tailors and Clothiers,

                          MEN AND BOYS' WEAR.

                      603 and 605 Chestnut Street,
                              PHILADELPHIA.




                      Trego's Teaberry Tooth Wash.

                         A Superior Dentifrice,
                FOR PRESERVING THE TEETH AND IMPARTING A
                  DELIGHTFUL FRAGRANCE TO THE BREATH.

        This Wash has long been in use in Philadelphia where it
          is highly recommended as a dentifrice; incomparably,

                      THE PUREST AND BEST ARTICLE
                            OF THE KIND EVER
                   OFFERED TO AN INTELLIGENT PUBLIC.

                       A. M. WILSON, Proprietor,
         Apothecary, N. W. Corner of Ninth and Filbert Streets,
                                                   PHILADELPHIA.


                         LARGE TEMPLE OF FANCY!
                         CHILDREN'S CARRIAGES,
                             OF ALL KINDS.

                  Wagons and Carts, Base Balls, Bats,
                 MARBLES, ROLLING HOOPS, JUMPING ROPES
                                CROQUET,
                            AND OTHER GAMES,
                  Dominoes, Cards, Slates and Pencils,
                Flags, Real Meerschaum and other Pipes,
        Amber Tubes, Beads, Canes Mounted with Gold and Silver,
                   Ivory and Plain, of our own Make.

          New Toys, Fancy Goods and Novelties always receiving
                   and selling at the lowest prices.

               PUNCH AND JUDY FIGURES CONSTANTLY ON HAND.

                           GEORGE DOLL & CO.,
                               Importers,
             NOS. 10 AND 12 NORTH SIXTH ST., PHILADELPHIA.
          N. B.--CANES and PIPES neatly mounted and repaired.




                           ESTABLISHED 1857.
                             JOHN W. KLINE,
                      ANTIQUITIES AND CURIOSITIES
                              OF ALL KINDS
                            BOUGHT AND SOLD.


       Mr. Kline would invite the attention of collectors to his
       extensive stock of

           Coins, Medals, Minerals, Fossils, Gems, Antiques,
          Shells for collections and work, Articles of Vertu,
               Postage, Revenues, Match, Proprietary, and
                   Department Stamps, India, Canton,
                     Sevres and rare China, Clocks,
                       Watches, Candlesticks and
                         Snuffers, Indian Stone
                             Implements and
                                Pottery,
                           Bronzes, Mosaics,
                           Seals and Armor,
                         Pipes, Birds' Eggs and
                      Nests, Engravings and Scrap
                   Prints, Idols from India and China,
              Skeletons and Crania, Crests and Monograms,
                     Corals and Sponges, Stamp and
                          Monogram Albums, etc.

        Price Catalogue Sent Free on the Receipt of the Address.

    Wanted to purchase, United States Revenue, Match, Medicine,
    Proprietary, Department and Confederate Stamps, Coins, China,
    and curiosities of every description.

    In remitting money, if over two dollars (which may be sent
    either in currency or un-used U. S. postage stamps) always send
    P. O. order or Banker's draft, payable to order.

                             JOHN W. KLINE,
                    Importer of Postage Stamps, &c.
                112 SOUTH EIGHTH ST., PHILADELPHIA, PA.




                         Confectioner & Caterer
                                --FOR--
                         PARTIES AND WEDDINGS.
                             J.H. BRUSSTAR,
                       1119 Spring Garden Street.

                               * * * * *

                            TAYLOR & PRICE,
                        IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN
                 SWISS, FRENCH AND NOTTINGHAM CURTAINS,
             Upholstery Goods, Curtains and Window Shades,
              And all kinds of Cabinet Maker's Materials.

                      No. 11 North Charles Street,
                            BALTIMORE, M. D.

                               * * * * *

                          J. H. PILLEY & SON,
                             PAPER HANGINGS
                                  AND
                             WINDOW SHADES,

                       1103 Spring Garden Street,
                                           PHILADELPHIA.

            COMPETENT WORKMEN FOR CITY AND COUNTRY TRADE




                             F. LOGUE, JR.,
                             --DEALER IN--
                               HATS, CAPS
                                  AND
                              STRAW GOODS.

                         No. 926 Market Street,
                              PHILADELPHIA.

                               * * * * *

                             F. EBERHARDT,
                         IMPORTER AND DEALER IN
                           FRENCH AND GERMAN
                                BASKETS,
                                TOYS AND
                         PUNCH AND JUDY FIGURES.

                          No. 928 Arch Street.
                              PHILADELPHIA.




                              SIGNOR BLITZ
                           CAN BE ENGAGED FOR
                       SUNDAY AND PUBLIC SCHOOLS,
                           SOCIETIES, LODGES
                          AND PRIVATE PARTIES!
                        IN THE CITY AND COUNTRY.

         Apply at No. 503 Chestnut Street, or at his Residence,
         1831 Wallace Street.

                               * * * * *

                           Chegaray Institute
                      FOR YOUNG LADIES AND MISSES,
           Established by MADAME CHEGGARY in New York, 1814.

                  MADAME D'HERVILLY, -- -- Principal,

                   Nos. 1527 and 1529 Spruce Street,
                                               PHILADELPHIA, PA.

                               * * * * *

                             JOHN THORNLEY,
                503 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pa.,

                Manufacturer and Dealer in All Kinds of
                              INDIA RUBBER
                        AND GUTTA PERCHA GOODS.




                           THEO. I. HARBACH,
                              IMPORTER OF
             Slides for the Magic Lantern and Stereopticon!
                         Novelties a Specialty.
                      Enclose Stamp for Catalogue.

                 809 Filbert Street, Philadelphia, Pa.

                --> MAGIC LANTERNS AND SLIDES WANTED.

                               * * * * *

                           TEMPLE OF FASHION!

                           MRS. M. A. BINDER,
            1101 N. W. Corner Eleventh and Chestnut Streets,

                   IMPORTER OF GLOVES IN EVERY SHADE,
               MILLINERY FOR LADIES AND MISSES, IMPORTED
               BONNETS AND HATS, LADIES' DRESS TRIMMINGS,
                       REAL AND IMITATION LACES,
     Parasols, Fans, Ribbons, Ties, French Jewelry and Fancy Goods,
    Dress and Cloak Making in the most tasteful and elegant manner.
                  PAPER PATTERNS WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.

                               * * * * *

                        WILLIAM A. DROWN & CO.,
                          UMBRELLA AND PARASOL
                             MANUFACTURERS,

                           246 Market Street,
                                   PHILADELPHIA.

              Warerooms in New York, 498 and 500 Broadway.




                             G. A. SCHWARZ,
                            --IMPORTER OF--
                          TOYS AND FANCY GOODS

                               --ALSO--
                         Punch and Judy Figures
                              OF ALL SIZES
                 FOR PUBLIC AND PARLOR ENTERTAINMENTS,
                        OF WOOD AND PAPER-MACHE,
                     WITH FRAMES FOR PERFORMING THE
                                PUPPETS.

                           FANCY CHINA WARE,
                              MUSIC BOXES
                                --AND--
                            OTHER NOVELTIES

                            ALWAYS RECEIVING
                                --AND--
                     Selling at the Lowest Prices.

                       No. 1006 Chestnut Street,
                                           PHILADELPHIA.




                              HELMBOLD'S
                              DRUG STORE,
                           Continental Hotel.

                             PRESCRIPTIONS
                          CAREFULLY COMPOUNDED
                               --WITH--
                       Pure Drugs and Chemicals.
                            OPEN ALL NIGHT.

                              IMPORTER OF
                       FRENCH, GERMAN AND ENGLISH
                               PERFUMERY,
                            SOAPS, POMADES,
                           TOILET ARTICLES, ETC.

                  COMPLETE LINE OF LADIES' REQUISITES.

                           PRINCIPAL AGENT OF
                   ATKINSON'S LUBIN'S and LETCHFORD'S
                               PERFUMERY.
                           SOLE AGENT FOR THE
                           Golden Hair Fluid,
                         L'AUREOLINE DE ROBARE,

           Patronage of the Public is Respectfully Solicited.
                          ALBERT L. HELMBOLD,
                           Philadelphia, Pa.




                           Transcriber Notes:

Passages in italics were indicated by _underscores_.

Passages in bold were indicated by =equal signs=.

Small caps were replaced with ALL CAPS.

Throughout the document, the oe ligature was replaced with "oe".

Throughout the dialogues, there were words used to mimic accents of the
speakers. Those words were retained as-is.

Errors in punctuation and inconsistent hyphenation were not corrected
unless otherwise noted.

On page 3, a quotation mark was added after "Master of the Rolls,".

On page 6, "bigest" was replaced with "biggest".

On page 8, "Punch where's that child tell me quickly" was replaced with
"Punch, where's that child? Tell me quickly"

On page 11, a comma was added after "Uncle" in two instances of "Uncle,
don't forget the dollar".

On page 12, a closing parentheses was added after "and exit."

On page 14, "and exit" was replaced with "and exits".

On page 14, a period was added after "Mr".

On page 15, a comma was added after "Not so".

On page 15, a closing parentheses was added after "and then sings,"

On page 16, a semicolon was added after "There they go".

On page 16, a period was added after "stands on the defensive".

On page 16, a comma was added after "Keep off".

On page 16, a comma was added after "Old boy".

On page 16, a quotation mark was removed after "Huzza! huzza! the
Devil's Dead!"

On page 17, "dentrifrice" was replaced with "dentifrice".






End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch and Judy, with Instructions How
to Manage the Little Actors, by Thomas A. M. Ward

*** 