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•A♦TRIP♦TO♦NIAGARA♦FALLS•

"Come, May, come, Nellie; hurry up. Deacon Fitney will be here directly
and the train starts directly."

The voice was that of Mr. Trevellyan, a thoroughly well-known and
highly respected stock broker of the City of Chicago. Mr. Trevellyan
was a hard-working man, and his various affairs did not give him much
opportunity of absenting himself from his business. But to-day had been
laid out as a holiday for the babies, and papa Trevellyan had made up
his mind to take part in it.

After a good deal of family discussion [these things generally involve
more or less of that sort of thing] it was finally decided to make a
trip to Niagara Falls and back. So a party was made up which was to
consist of Mr. and Mrs. Trevellyan, the two children and a good-hearted
Deacon Fitney, who was well acquainted with the way to "do" the Falls
properly.

The day was, as I have just said, a bright one, even for the month of
June, and both May and Nellie, in anticipation of a pleasant time, were
not long in putting on their things and repairing to the parlor.

It was well they hurried. There was papa, valise in hand, ready to
start; mamma, too, and nothing seemed to be wanting but the presence
of Deacon Fitney, who had gone off to secure the railway tickets, and
who promised to return at once with a carriage and accompany the whole
party to the train. The Deacon was not long in coming back. He was a
good man in his way, was the Deacon. He had only one fault--he was
unreasonably fond of Buttons! He adorned his apparel with more buttons
than even the law requires, and he wore a nice gold headed button on
his neatly tied satin scarf. Nobody could ever find out what prompted
this peculiarity, but then nobody seemed to care very much. However, as
I said before, the Deacon came back very quickly and helped get things
in the carriage.

"By the way, Deacon," said Mr. Trevellyan, "what time do we start and
which way do we go? You know I have left everything of that kind to
you."

"Four-thirty," said the Deacon, in a cheerful sort of way, "and by the
Michigan Central Railroad. It is the only way to go. But never mind
about the advantages to be gained by going over this remarkable route.
I will tell you all about it when we get on the train."

And so they bundled into the carriage, and within a few minutes the
entire party was seated in one of the magnificent palace cars which are
attached to the Michigan Central Limited Express.

"All aboard!" shouted the conductor. "We're off," smiled the Deacon.
The big clock in the depot struck the half after four, and the
magnificent train composed of five sleepers, three coaches, a palace
dining car and a couple of baggage cars, slowly pulled out of the
station.

May and Nellie glued their noses to the window, and their delight as
they whizzed through the beautiful suburbs of South Chicago, seemed
unbounded. With Lake Michigan, tranquil and glittering with the rays
of a summer sun, on one side, and a succession of lovely suburban
residences on the other, the sight was a most lovely one. A few minutes
later the train was flying through green fields and beautiful woods.

"Here, children," suddenly cried the Deacon from the other side of
the car, "come quick and see the magic city of Pullman." In a minute
May was on one of the Deacon's knees and Nellie on the other, and
the train passed rapidly by the most wonderful evidence of modern
enterprise.

"Three years ago," said the Deacon, in answer to an enquiring look of
admiration in the children's eyes, "the ground on which stands this
most beautiful city, which is without doubt the model city of the
world, was nothing but a swamp. See what it is now. Some day, when we
get back home, I will bring you here and let you learn more closely
what the creator of the beautiful place which bears the name of Pullman
has done for his country."

A minute later the train flew past Kensington, and then fairly started
on its iron way for its first stopping place, Michigan City, better
known as the City of Sand. Then came Niles, with its wonderful bridge
and its fairy valley. Then Kalamazoo, the biggest village in the
world, and the flower bed of creation. Then Marshall, Battle Creek
and Jackson, the latter place the centre of railway industry of the
beautiful State of Michigan. Then Ann Arbor, where is situated the
University of the State of Michigan, and then, last, but not least,
Detroit.

By this time, of course, the babies had been tucked in bed. The Deacon
had taken them into the dining car and feasted them with all the
inexhaustible luxuries for which these cars on the Michigan Central R.
R. are so famous.

Then the colored porter having made up their beds they were soon fast
asleep and dreaming of the treat in store for the morrow.

The Deacon, however, was determined at least that his grown-up friends
should lose none of the beauties of the trip, and so he insisted that
Mr. and Mrs. Trevellyan should remain up until they had crossed the
famous Detroit River. The night was a beautiful one, and they were
amply rewarded by witnessing one of the most thoroughly picturesque
pieces of scenery in the world. The entire train was placed on one of
the immense ferry steamers, and the landing shortly afterwards made
at Windsor, a picturesque and quaint little town on the Canadian side
of the river. At this point commences the Canada Southern Division of
the Michigan Central Railroad, famous alike for the magnificence of
its equipment and smoothness of track. Here our friends, so to speak,
turned in, and it was only a few minutes before every one on board was
fast asleep.

The next thing was the morning sun and Niagara Falls. The run had been
made from Chicago in the remarkable time of fifteen hours.

"Oh, how good of you, Deacon Fitney," said little May a short while
later, as standing on a verandah of Joe ---- House, she gazed with
rapture at the Falls in all their splendor; "how good of you to bring
us to such a nice place and by such a delightful road."

"I am glad you like it," said the Deacon, with a smile; "but you must
not credit me with too much goodness, for I could hardly have brought
you by any other way. The Michigan Central road is the only direct road
running to the Falls, and you could hardly expect that I could take you
there by any line which is not entirely the best."

Mr. and Mrs. Trevellyan heartily joined May in her expressions of
thanks to the Deacon, and more than endorsed every word he had said in
praise of the wonderful Michigan Central Limited Express.

They spent the day at the Falls--a day of merry sunshine and happiness.
The Falls never looked grander and nature never smiled with more
sweetness. The time passed only too quickly, and when the children
stepped on the cars once more to return to Chicago it was with a twinge
of regret which was only offset by the knowledge that they had another
delightful trip in store for them on the Michigan Central Road.

Now May has the following time table hung up among her pictures on the
wall in her bed room. She says it serves to remind her of one of the
happiest days of her life. Above it, in a baby's handwriting, she has
scrawled:

            "THE ONLY WAY TO GO EAST FROM CHICAGO IS BY THE
                        MICHIGAN CENTRAL R.R."

       *       *       *       *       *

=Train No. 10.--Fast New York Express.=--Leaves Chicago EVERY DAY at
4.30 p. m. and consists of one First Class Smoking Car, one First Class
Day Coach, one =Dining Car= and =three Palace Sleeping Cars=, running
on following time:

  Leaves  Chicago                  4.30 p. m. Sund. Mond. Tues.   Wed.
     "    Jackson                 10.54 p. m.   "     "     "      "
  Arrives Detroit                  1.00 a. m. Mond. Tues. Wednes. Thurs.
     "    St. Thomas               4.20   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Toronto, via C. V. Ry.   9.30   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Toronto, via G. W. R.    9.30   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Niagara Falls            8.30   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Buffalo                  8.15   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Rochester, via N. Y. C. 11.10   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Syracuse,         "      1.30 p. m.   "     "     "      "
     "    Utica,            "      3.00   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Albany,           "      5.50   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Troy,             "      7.00   "     "     "     "      "
     "    New York,         "     10.00   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Hornellsville, via Erie 12.30   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Elmira,             "    1.50   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Binghamton,         "    3.00   "     "     "     "      "
     "    New York,           "   10.00   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Philadelphia, via L. V. 10.20   "     "     "     "      "
     "    Boston, via B. & A.      6.25 a. m. Tues. Wednes. Thurs. Friday.

  Leaves  Chicago                  4.30 p. m. Thurs.  Friday. Satur.
     "    Jackson                 10.54 p. m.   "        "      "
  Arrives Detroit                  1.00 a. m. Friday. Satur. Sunday.
     "    St. Thomas               4.20   "     "      "      "
     "    Toronto, via C. V. Ry.   9.30   "     "      "     [1]
     "    Toronto, via G. W. R.    9.30   "     "      "     [1]
     "    Niagara Falls            8.30   "     "      "      "
     "    Buffalo                  8.15   "     "      "      "
     "    Rochester, via N. Y. C. 11.10   "     "      "      "
     "    Syracuse,         "      1.30 p. m.   "      "      "
     "    Utica,            "      3.00   "     "      "      "
     "    Albany,           "      5.50   "     "      "      "
     "    Troy,             "      7.00   "     "      "      "
     "    New York,         "     10.00   "     "      "      "
     "    Hornellsville, via Erie 12.30   "     "      "      "
     "    Elmira,             "    1.50   "     "      "      "
     "    Binghamton,         "    3.00   "     "      "      "
     "    New York,           "   10.00   "     "      "      "
     "    Philadelphia, via L. V. 10.20   "     "      "     [1]
     "    Boston, via B. & A.      6.25 a. m. Satur. Sunday. [2]

  [1] Does not arrive on Sunday.

  [2] Does not arrive on Monday.

This train, leaving Chicago one hour later than heretofore, makes a
much surer connection with Western lines.

The Smoking Car, Day Coach and one Sleeping Car run through to Buffalo
via M. C.; one Sleeping Car runs through to Toronto via M. C. and
Credit Valley Railways; one Sleeping Car runs through to New York via
M. C. and N. Y. C. The Dining Car serves dinner out of Chicago at 5
o'clock; train arrives in Buffalo in good season for breakfast.

This train has attached at Detroit a Through Sleeping Car from St.
Louis to New York, via W., St. L. & P., M. C. and N. Y. C., that makes
quicker through time than any other line; and also a Sleeping Car from
Detroit to Syracuse that is placed in Detroit depot about 9 p. m.
Passengers can enter their berths any time after that hour.

Connects with Grand Trunk trains in Detroit.

Connection with Pullman Car for New York and Philadelphia, via Erie,
leaving Buffalo at 9.15 a. m., and also with Buffalo, New York and
Philadelphia, leaving at 8.20 a. m.

Connects at Albany with through sleeper for Boston via B. & A., leaving
at 8.40 p. m.

No second class passengers are carried on this train.

=NOTE.--No extra charge is made on Michigan Central Fast Express.=

       *       *       *       *       *

May's advice is very excellent. She says the Michigan Central is the
best road in the United States and she knows what she is talking
about.


       WM. S. EATON, Treasurer.      J. C. CONVERSE, President.

                     NATIONAL TUBE WORKS COMPANY;
               MANUFACTURERS OF WROUGHT IRON LAP-WELDED
                        BOILER TUBES AND PIPE,
                       FOR STEAM, WATER AND GAS.

                            [Illustration]

                                 ALSO,
  DRY PIPE, CASING, TUBING AND SPECIAL PIPE FOR CONDUCTING WATER LONG
                              DISTANCES.

         CONVERSE'S PATENT LOCK-JOINT FOR WATER AND GAS MAINS.

                       SOLE MANUFACTURERS OF THE
              National Semi-Steel Locomotive Boiler Tube
                                  AND
                      MACK'S LOCOMOTIVE INJECTOR.

                               OFFICES:

              CHICAGO, ILL.,     159 AND 161 LAKE STREET.
  _BOSTON, NEW YORK, PHILADELPHIA, PITTSBURGH, McKEESPORT, BRADFORD,
                                 PA._

       *       *       *       *       *


                      RAILROAD AND BUSINESS DESKS
                             A SPECIALTY.

                           [Illustration: 80

   The above represents our New Pattern, both Low and High Curtain.]

                           We make the only
                              OPERA CHAIR
                         THAT WILL NOT BREAK.

                                FOLDING
                             CHURCH SEATS,
                            Same Principle.

                          =Reference Given.=

                        Improvements Patented.

                           [Illustration: 84

                       ROUND ENDS, LOW CURTAIN.]

                     _Best Goods, Lowest Prices._

                         ALL GOODS WARRANTED.
                      CALL OR SEND FOR CATALOGUE.

                       AMERICAN STORE STOOL CO.,
                 246 Wabash Avenue,      CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                              ESTABLISHED
                                 1851.

                             INCORPORATED
                                 1868.

                       THE YALE & TOWNE MFG. CO.
                              ENGINEERS.
                        HENRY R. TOWNE, Prest.

                         OWNING AND OPERATING
                    THE YALE LOCK MANUFACTURING CO.
                          THE EMERY SCALE CO.
                         THE WESTON CRANE CO.

                            SOLE MAKERS OF
                           THE "YALE" LOCKS,
             For All Uses where Great Security Is Desired.

                            RIM AND MORTISE
                            NIGHT LATCHES,
                              DEAD LOCKS,
                              FRONT DOOR
                                  AND
                            VESTIBULE SETS,
                             OFFICE LOCKS,
                    CABINET LOCKS FOR ALL PURPOSES.

                   [Illustration: FULL SIZE OF KEY.]

                         THE "STANDARD" LOCKS.

   A Complete Line of Mortise Locks, particularly adapted for Inner
                                Doors.

Night Latches, Dead Locks, Knob Locks, Cabinet Locks, Front Door Locks,
Vestibule Latches, Sliding Door Locks.

[Illustration]

                    THE "STANDARD" SPRING PADLOCKS,
    Cast Bronze, with Nickel-Plated Steel Keys and Brass Tumblers.
           Six sizes--one inch to two and one-fourth inches.

                      ALSO, SOLE MANUFACTURERS OF
               WESTON'S PAT. DIFFERENTIAL PULLEY BLOCKS
                                  AND
                         CRANES OF ALL TYPES.

          PRINCIPAL OFFICE AND WORKS: STAMFORD, CONNECTICUT.
          Western Office,      CHICAGO,      64 Lake Street.
                     New York Office, 62 Reade St.
                    Boston Office, 224 Franklin St.
                  Philadelphia Office, 507 Market St.

                SPECIAL CATALOGUES SENT ON APPLICATION.

       *       *       *       *       *


                        FAIRBANKS, MORSE & CO.

           CORNER OF LAKE STREET AND FIFTH AVENUE, CHICAGO.

                   EXCLUSIVELY FIRST QUALITY GOODS.

                      RAILWAY SUPPLY DEPARTMENT.

    SCALES: Fairbanks' Standard; over 400 modifications; 45 new
        patents. Many styles especially adapted to railway requirements.

    WAGONS: For Express and Transfer Station Use; several new patterns.

    TRUCKS: All Sizes and Styles; made of best material. Special styles
        made to order.

    HAND CARS: Improved Wood Wheels, steel axles, wrought crank shaft,
        light, strong, and universally satisfactory.

    PUSH CARS: Improved Wood Wheels, or iron wheels, rubble and special
        sizes made to order.

    VELOCIPEDES: Three Wheeled Railway Velocipedes. Improved patterns.

    LOCKS: Miller's Improved brass, switch, freight car, tool house and
        other styles.

    WATER STATIONS: Wind, Steam, Horse or Hand Power Stations. Erected
        complete or material and plans furnished.

    WINDMILLS: "Eclipse," strongest and only safe self-regulator. The
        cheapest water station motor where wind is available.

    WINDMILL TOWERS: All Heights. Delivered on cars or erected when
        desired.

    TANKS: White Pine, Southern pine, and cypress; all sizes,
        machine-made, perfect fitting. Erected if desired.

    TANK FIXTURES: "Eclipse" Pattern, Babbitt metal valve seat, solid
        rubber valve face, galvanized iron spout.

    PUMPS: Double and Single Acting; for wind or hand power. New styles
        with improvements, especially adapted to railroad use.

    PIPE: Prepared Wood Pipe. Economical and durable. Recommended for
        long distances.

    STEAM PUMPS AND BOILERS: "Eclipse" Fly Wheel. Constructed
        especially for railroad water station service. New improvements.

    STEAM PUMPS AND BOILERS: Direct Acting, patent interchangeable
        cylinders, and other improvements.

    STAND PIPES: Smith's Improved Pivoted Pipe, with quick closing
        slide valve. No packing used.

    INSPIRATORS: The Hancock Improved, the best boiler feeder. No
        adjustment needed for varying steam pressure.

    PRESSES: Letter and Way Bill; all sizes. Made with wheel or lever
        as desired.

    TURNTABLES: Wrought Iron, Cast Iron and Wood. Delivered on cars or
        built complete.

    SCRAPERS: Wheel and Drag.

                          GENERAL DEPARTMENT.

    FAIRBANKS' STANDARD SCALES: All Sizes, and adapted to all purposes.

    WINDMILLS: For Farm and other Uses. Pumping or power mills.

    WINDMILL FIXTURES: Pumps, Cylinders, Pipe, etc.

    TRUCKS: All Styles, for warehouse, packing houses, etc.

    BEAMS: Grain Testers, Assay Balances, U. S. Standard Weights and
        Measures, etc.

    INSPIRATORS: Hancock's Improved Boiler Feeder.

    WATER WORKS: For Towns and Villages. Erected complete or material
        furnished.

    STEAM PUMPS AND BOILERS: All Sizes. Improved patterns.

       SEND FOR DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE SPECIFYING ARTICLE NEEDED.

[Illustration:




A

Parody

on Patience

[Sidenote: illustrated by H. W. McVickar]

By _D. DALZIEL_,

EDITOR OF THE CHICAGO NEWS LETTER.

       *       *       *       *       *

DRAWN & PRINTED IN COLORS BY _WEMPLE & CO. ☼ LITHOGRAPHERS_, New York.]

[Illustration: WE CARE NOTHING FOR RAILROAD CONDUCTORS]




                             ·:A PARODY:·

                                 ·on·

                              •PATIENCE•


   (_Respectfully dedicated to the Conductors of the Chicago & Alton
                              Railroad._)

          (BY D. DALZIEL, EDITOR OF THE CHICAGO NEWS LETTER.)

              SCENE--_The Exterior of a Railroad Depot_.

  (_Enter_ ANGELA, ELLA _and_ SAPHIR, _and a number of æsthetic young
                               women._)

ANGELA--There is a strange magic in this love of ours. Rivals, as we
all are, in the affections of our Reginald, the very hopelessness of
our love is a bond that binds us to one another. (_All sigh._)

JANE--Fools, yes, fools. Know ye not that this man never can be yours?
He loves another, and that other is PATIENCE. (_General misery._)

ANGELA--Patience, the young woman who milks the cow and sleeps in the
stable! Surely the gentleman's taste must be a trifle unæsthetic.

JANE--You must not question his motive. He is utterly transcendent in
all he does. But the milkmaid, as you say, is indeed a little beneath
the regard of one so truly too.

ALL--Indeed she is. (_They all sigh._)

PATIENCE--(_Appears at background and looks with contempt upon the lot.
She then comes down._) What is the matter, girls, are you ill?

ALL--No, we are in love. (_More misery._)

PATIENCE--I know not what love is.

ANGELA--Ah, Patience, if you have never loved you have never known true
happiness. (_All sigh._)

PATIENCE--But the truly happy seem to have so much on their mind. The
truly happy never seem quite well. But I have some news for you. The
Railroad Conductors' Annual Picnic will be held here to-day, and the
young men in their gorgeous uniforms are now on their way to this spot.

ANGELA--(_Contemptuously._) Railroad conductors!

SAPHIR--I am told they are men of very full habits.

ELLA--We care nothing for railroad conductors.

     (_Exit the ladies in sorrowful procession. Enter the railroad
              conductors. They march around to chorus._)

    The conductors of our land are linked in friendly tether,
    Upon the railroad train they make their friends together;
    There every mother's son prepared to make a friend is.
    The comrade of one, The comrade of all is,
    The comrade of one, The comrade of all is.

   (_Enter the Grand Commander of the Order of Conductors_, COLONEL
               BLUE, _of the Chicago & Alton Railroad_.)

    G· C·--(_Sings._)

    When I first put this uniform on
    I said as I looked in the glass,
    It's one to a million, that any civilian
    My figure and form will surpass.
    Gold lace has a charm for the fair,
    And I've plenty of that, and to spare.
    While a lover's professions,
    When uttered on Hessians
    Are eloquent ev'rywhere;
    A fact that I counted upon
    When I first put this uniform on.

                          CHORUS.

    By a simple coincidence, few
    Could ever have reckoned upon,
    The same thing occurred to us, too,
    When we first put this uniform on.

[Illustration: I KNOW NOT WHAT LOVE IS!]

[Illustration: The conductors of our line are

linked

in friendly

tether]

[Illustration: WHEN I FIRST PUT THIS UNIFORM ON]

[Illustration: OH PATIENCE! YOU WILL BREAK MY HEART.]

    G· C·--

      I said when I first put it on,
      It's plain to the veriest dunce,
      That every beauty
      Will feel it her duty
      To yield to the Alton at once.
      They will see that I'm freely gold laced,
      In a uniform handsome and chaste,
    And a gentleman connected with the Chicago and Alton
      Should be very much to their taste;
      A fact that I counted upon
      When I first put this uniform on.

                            CHORUS.

        By a simple coincidence, few
        Could ever have reckoned upon,
        The same thing occurred to us, too,
        When we first put this uniform on.

                          (_Enter_ PATIENCE.)

PATIENCE--How strangely handsome these conductors are, but I dare not
address them.

G· C·--Fair maiden, you seem alarmed at our intrusion.

PATIENCE.--Not at all. Only awed. I am not accustomed to so much
glitter.

G· C·--(_Proudly._) You flatter, fair maid, but we are accustomed to
it. We are conductors. That speaks for our brilliant appearance.

PATIENCE.--And what is a conductor?

G· C·--Do you mean it? Listen and I will give you the recipe for a
first-class Chicago and Alton conductor. (_Sings._)

    If you want a recipe for that popular mystery
      Usually known as an Alton road man,
    Take all the remarkable people in history,
      Mix them all up in a rhyming stewpan;
    The pluck of a brakeman on board of a freight train,
      Genius of agents devising a plan,
    The humor of Jay Gould (when in a cut rate vein),
      Coolness of Vanderbilt leading the clan;
    The science of Howgate, the eminent Arctico;
      Wit of Abe Lincoln, good Illinois man;
    Pathos of Paddy, just out on a lark to go;
      Style of the Bishop of Saskatchewan;
    The dash of a D'Orsay divested of quackery,
      Narrative powers of Dickens and Thackeray.
    Victor Emmanuel, peak-hunting Peveril,
      Thomas A-qui-nas and Doctor Sa-che-verell,
    Tupper and Tennyson, Daniel De-Foe,
      Anthony Trollope and Mister Guizot.

    Take of these elements all that is fusible,
    Melt 'em all down in a pipkin or crucible,
    Set 'em to simmer and take off the scum,
    And an Alton conductor is the re-si-du-um.

    If you want a receipt for this railroad like Paragon,
      Get at the wealth of Jim Fair (if you can);
    The family pride of a Blue Blood from Lexington,
      Force of Mephisto pronouncing a ban,
    A smack of young Lorillard, reckless and rollicky,
      Swagger of Kearney leading his gang,
    The keen penetration of Paddington Pollaky;
      Grace of an odalisque on a divan;
    The essence delightful of utter civility,
    Graceful and pleasant lacking servility;
    Flavor of Hamlet; Charles Surface, a touch of him;
    Little of Romeo, but not very much of him,--
    Beautiful dressed, all buttons and lace,
    Air of a nobleman, exquisite face.

[Illustration: YOU ARE RIGHT PATIENCE, I AM A CHICAGO AND ALTON
RAILROAD CONDUCTOR, AND THEY ARE ALL VERY BEAUTIFUL.]

[Illustration: PRETTY, PRETTY MAIDEN!]

[Illustration:

    "Marry me fair maiden,
                    from my heart t'will take a load."]

[Illustration: "REALLY LADIES, YOU MUST EXCUSE ME. I NEVER CAN BE
YOURS."]

    Take of these elements all that is fusible
    Melt 'em all down in a pipkin or crucible,
    Set 'em to simmer and take off the scum,
    And an Alton conductor is the residuum.

                          (_Exit_ CONDUCTORS.)

PATIENCE--Such a person as he describes must be truly interesting.
But who comes here? One of them, I declare. I must depart. Oh! I must
depart.

                     (_Enter_ GROSVENOR, _sings_.)

                                      HE.

    Pretty, pretty maiden, look upon this breast;
      Hey, but I'm doleful, willow, willow waly!
    I belong to the best line that's running in the West;
      Hey, willow waly, oh!
    Competition, we defy it;
    Let those who doubt me, try it;
      Hey, willow waly, oh!

                                     SHE.

    Judging by your words, sir, it's the Alton Road you mean;
      Hey, but he's doleful, willow, willow waly!
    I'm well aware of the fact, strange as it may seem;
      Hey, willow waly, oh!
    You've much to recommend you,
    If the Alton Road befriend you;
      Hey, willow, waly, oh!

                                       ⁂

GROSVENOR--Oh, Patience, you will break my heart. Don't you know me?

PATIENCE--No, although I have seen people dressed like you before, I do
not think that would entitle me to say I knew you.

GROSVENOR--Don't you remember your little playfellow, Archibald? He who
used to take you to excursions by the Chicago & Alton to St. Louis?

PATIENCE--Can it be--why, yes, it must be Archibald. I am glad to see
you. The remembrance of those visits to St. Louis is still fresh in my
memory. So fresh that it is not at all necessary for me to go there
again to renew them. But you are changed.

GROSVENOR--I am somewhat taller than when I first knew you; remember
that it is nigh on to thir-r-ty years since first we met by the village
stream. Ah, Patience, the time has passed lightly enough on me, but
with you it is very different.

PATIENCE--And how handsome _you_ look.

GROSVENOR--You are quite right, Patience (_drawing himself up_). I am a
Chicago & Alton Railroad Conductor, and _they_ are all very beautiful.

PATIENCE--And that uniform, Archibald!

GROSVENOR--(_Sighs_) Ah, that is the bane of my life. It has the curse
of fatal perfection. Since I first put it on I dare not go through the
cars and collect tickets without an escort. All the women I meet fall
madly in love with me. At the country depot when my train goes through,
the entire female population flock out to get a glimpse at me. The life
is one of torment.

PATIENCE--Then why do you not cast it away from you, and make yourself
a commonplace person like the conductors of other roads?

GROSVENOR--No, Patience, that would be wrong. I have a mission in
life. If it be my fortune to be the handsomest conductor on the
finest railroad in the World, who am I that I should withhold the
contemplation of my gifts from others? But will you love and marry me,
Patience?

PATIENCE--(_Pointing to the sign on his hat bearing inscription Chicago
& Alton conductor. Sings very much after La Mascotte._)

                                     SHE.

    When I behold that magic sign a sweet joy agitates me.

                                      HE.

    Ah, Patience, you are right; this uniform must captivate thee.

                                     SHE.

    When I look on those beauteous words just like a little chick I
        tremble.

                                      HE.

    The Alton is the greatest line, 'tis useless to dissemble.

                                     SHE.

    That more than other roads I love.

[Illustration: AN OLD MAN SAT IN A RAILWAY SHOP.]

[Illustration: "It's the Alton Road that takes me home"]

[Illustration: GROSVENOR IS BURIED IN REVERIE.]

[Illustration: "I WILL HAVE YOU DISCHARGED FROM THE CHICAGO AND ALTON
RAILROAD COMPANY."]

                                      HE.

    After that 'tis surely you I love.

                                     SHE.

    When the engine sounds its puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff.

                                      HE.

    When the whistle sounds its "WHEW!"

                                       ⁂

                                     SHE.

    When I look on that braid and buttons a strange awe overcomes me.

                                      HE.

    Ah, Patience, 'tis not strange this uniform becomes me.

                                     SHE.

    Since I find you are an Alton man, I'll marry now instead of later.

                                      HE.

    If Patience did not love that road, I'm sure that I should hate her.

                                     SHE.

    That more than other roads I love.

                                      HE.

    After that 'tis surely you I love.

                                     SHE.

    When the agent sweetly murmurs, Tickets, tickets, tickets.

                                      HE.

    When the brakeman gently gasps, How-oo-l-ng
        changekyarsfromummmsbrymummumspassgersfiminitsfreshments.

                                       ⁂

GROSVENOR--Then you will marry me, Patience? Ah, this is too much!
(_Goes to clasp her in his arms._)

PATIENCE--But stop. I never thought of this. Love to be pure must be
unselfish. If I marry you I shall deprive others of your beautiful
presence, and the travelling public will know you no more. That would
be selfish, and therefore I must not love you.

GROSVENOR--Oh, fatal perfection, again you stand in the way of my
happiness; but you are right, Patience, you are right. (_Sings._)

                                      HE.

    Marry me, fair maiden, from my heart 'twill take a load
      Hey, but I'm hopeful, willow, willow waly,
    I'm the handsomest conductor on the Chicago & Alton Road;
      Hey, willow waly, oh!
    My salary is modest,
    My intentions are quite honest;
      Hey, willow waly, oh!

                                     SHE.

    Gentle sir, 'tis true, 'twould be difficult to find:
      Hey, but he's hopeful, willow, willow waly,
    A personage more handsome and perfect in his mind
      Hey, willow waly, oh!
    Still I would not marry,
    So, prithee do not tarry;
      Hey, willow waly, oh!

(_Exit_ PATIENCE _sobbing_. GROSVENOR _remains in an attitude of grief._)

GROSVENOR--(_after a pause_). It must be written. The only woman I love
is denied me while all others that I do not love are showered at my
head. Perhaps some of you may envy my condition. If you do, follow this
little bit of advice and you may soon find yourself as burdened with
love as I am. (_Sings._)

    If you're anxious for to shine in the highest railroad line as a man
        of genius rare,
    You must get up all the germs of the grandest railroad terms and
        plant them everywhere;
    You must smile at all the ladies, and be good to all the babies in a
        manner that is most kind;
    It really doesn't matter how much they cry and chatter or if they
        talk you deaf and blind.
    And everyone will say
    As you walk your cheerful way,
    If this young man behaves himself in the manner that we see,
    Why, what a very singularly nice young man this Alton man must be!

                                       ⁂

[Illustration: "Conceive me if you can
                                             A commonplace young man."]

[Illustration: A MOST UNIQUE YOUNG MAN, WHO RUNS THE CAR YOUNG MAN,
POLITE TO THE LADIES ETC.]

[Illustration: "And kind to the babies."]

[Illustration: Who is lavish in dress]

       *       *       *       *       *


                      GRIFFIN & WELLS FOUNDRY CO.

              RAILROAD CAR, ENGINE AND STREET CAR WHEELS.

                 Annual Capacity,      50,000 Wheels.

                            [Illustration]

     Rates Secured and Shipments made to all parts of the West and
   South. Contracts made for Yearly or Other Supply. Mileage or Time
  Guarantee Given. All Orders and Correspondence will receive prompt
                   attention. References furnished.

                           OFFICE AND WORKS:
         Paulina St., South of Blue Island Ave.      CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                       THOS. F. GRIFFIN & SONS,

                           MANUFACTURERS OF

                        CAR WHEELS AND CASTINGS

                   OFFICE AND WORKS:              }
   Cor. of Forest Ave. and N. Y. C. & H. R. R. R. }  BUFFALO, N. Y.

       *       *       *       *       *


                         GRIFFIN CAR WHEEL CO.

                   RAILROAD CAR WHEELS AND CASTINGS.

      Annual Capacity, 100,000 Wheels.      10,000 Tons Castings.

                            [Illustration]

  Rates Secured and Shipments made to all parts of the United States.
  Special attention given to Car and Engine Wheels for Railroad Use.
    Mileage Guaranteed. Contracts made for Yearly or Other Supply.
                       Correspondence Solicited.

              OFFICE AND WORKS:               }
    Cor. Foundry St. & Michigan Central R.R. }      DETROIT, MICH.

       *       *       *       *       *


                                  THE

                             GRIFFIN WHEEL

                            MANUFACTURED BY

                         GRIFFIN CAR WHEEL CO.

                            DETROIT, MICH.

                      GRIFFIN & WELLS FOUNDRY CO.

                             CHICAGO, ILL.

                        THOS. F. GRIFFIN & SON,

                            BUFFALO, N. Y.

                       COMBINED DAILY CAPACITY,

               800 Wheels per Day and 60 Tons Castings.

                   EXTRA HEAVY WHEELS FOR ENGINE AND
                          PASSENGER SERVICE.

                        ALL MILEAGE GUARANTEED.

       *       *       *       *       *

    Be attentive to the old, don't growl and never scold, but to all be
        just and fair,
    And convince 'em if you can that the conductors of your road are
        fraught with culture rare.
    Take your tickets with a smile, whatever may be there to guile, and
        teach them all to pine
    For the exquisite politeness of the affable conductors of the
        Chicago and Alton Line.
    And everyone will say
    As you walk your mystic way,
    If everything connected with the Alton Road is as good as what I see,
    Oh, what a very cultivated sort of road this Alton Road must be!

                                       ⁂

    Be kind in disposition, bear in mind that your position is one in
        which you shine,
    As a man of great perfection on account of your connection with the
        Chicago and Alton Line
    Though the emigrants may jostle, you will rank as an apostle in a
        high æsthetic band
    You always must remember that you are a valued member of the
        railroad of the land.
    And everyone will say,
    As you walk your stately way
    If he's a sample of the Alton Road, the Alton Road, oh, me!
    Why, what a very cultivated sort of road the Alton road must be!

                (_Re-enter maidens fair and numerous._)

ANGELA--This love for yon young Grosvenor is joy. (_All sigh._)

     (GROSVENOR _starts and endeavors to escape but is prevented_.)

GROSVENOR--Really, ladies, you must excuse me, I have to meet a fellow.

ALL--We know, but deign us a few moments of your precious time. Let us
gaze upon your beauteous exterior, if only for a brief while.

GROSVENOR--But, ladies, to what end? I never can be yours. Of course
it is my duty to let you gaze on me as you would gaze on any other
beautiful product of nature, else why am I in this world? But you
cannot turn me from my love. Remember the story of the old man and the
railroad runners.

ALL--But we don't know the story of the old man and the railroad
runners.

GROSVENOR--Don't you? Then I'll sing it to you.

                                 _Sings._

    An old man sat in a railroad shop,
    And all around was a loving crop
    Of runners and agents with smile sublime,
    Working that man for their favorite line.
    But for agents the old man felt no whim;
    Tho' he charmed them they charmed not him;
    From agents and runners and smiles he strode,
    For he'd set his love on the Alton Road.
      The Alton Road,
      The Alton Road.
    Their most æsthetic, peripatetic
    Fancies this way ran:
    If others we wheedle, why, we indeed'll
    Wheedle this queer old man.

                                    CHORUS:

    Their most æsthetic, peripatetic
    Fancies this way ran.
    If others we wheedle, why we indeed'll
    Wheedle this queer old man.

                                       ⁂

    The runners and agents expressed surprise;
    The conductors opened their well-drilled eyes.
    The runners, they felt shut up, no doubt,
    And the agents they found themselves cut out.
    But the queer old man was as solid as stone,
    "It's the Alton Road that takes me home"
    That's what he cried, that queer old boy.
    "And it's the only road that gives me joy."

[Illustration: A highly colored young man.

A Pullman Car young man.]

[Illustration: A FUNNY, ROUGH OLD MAN, A TOUGH AND BLUFF OLD MAN, WHO
SWEARS LIKE AN INJUN AND RUNS THE ENGINE, A CHICAGO AND ALTON MAN.]

[Illustration:

    Another grim old man,
    A sooty & jolly old man,
    "I tends to the boiler;
    Sometimes I oil her,"
    A C. & A. stoker old man.]

[Illustration:

    "A Dainty, Timid young man
      A handle-your-baggage young man."]

      That queer old man,
      That queer old man.
    These most æsthetic, peripatetic
    Runners skipped and ran;
    For by no means ever can agent ever
    Corrupt that queer old man.

                                    CHORUS:

    These most æsthetic, peripatetic
    Runners skipped and ran;
    For by no means ever can agent ever
    Corrupt that queer old man.

     (_All off dancing except_ GROSVENOR, _who remains seated on a
  trunk checked through to San Francisco via the Chicago and Alton_.
    _He is buried in reverie. Enter back the Grand Commander of the
               Conductors' Association_, COLONEL BLUE.)

G· C·--There he is--he, a simple conductor, and yet he cut us all out.
Even I, the Grand Commander of all conductors, even I am cut out. But
it must end, and end now. (_Comes down to_ GROSVENOR.) Ah! so we meet
at last.

GROSVENOR--Happy man.

G· C·--None of that nonsense with me, and now to business. Ever since
you joined our band, things have gone wrong. Before you came the women
loved _me_--yes, sir, _me_, and they followed _me_ about everywhere,
and now you have come and everything is changed. It is you they run
after, but I tell you it must cease.

GROSVENOR--Is it my fault if they all fall in love with me? You, of
course, who are not endowed with all the disadvantages of beauty,
cannot know what I have to put up with.

G· C·--Then change it all--destroy your beauty!

GROSVENOR--That would be impossible.

G· C·--Cut your hair, let your beard grow, get another uniform, and, in
fact, make yourself a commonplace young man.

GROSVENOR--Again I say that would be impossible.

G· C·--Do you know that I am a bad man when I am crossed? If you do not
do what I desire, perhaps I might curse you. (GROSVENOR _starts_.) Ah
me.

GROSVENOR--It cannot be.

G· C·--Then beware--may the curse of your aunt be upon you. Ah, ha!

GROSVENOR--I have no aunt.

G· C·--Then may the curse of your grandmother be upon you. Ah, ha!

GROSVENOR--I never had a grandmother.

G· C·--I will have you expelled from our order, I will have you
blackballed from every benevolent association in the land, I will lay
traps to humiliate you, I will bring misery and disgrace upon your
family, I will cause your financial ruin, and I will kill the girl you
love.

GROSVENOR--(_indifferently_) I care not.

G· C·--I will have you discharged from the Chicago & Alton Railroad
Company.

GROSVENOR--(_Goes on his knees and shrieks_) Oh, say not so!

G· C·--Ah, ha! but I do say so.

GROSVENOR--Oh, be merciful as you are strong. Beat me, ruin me, kill
me, but do not let me leave the Alton.

G· C·--Then do as I command you; become a commonplace young man.

GROSVENOR--I will, but remember that I do it on compulsion. (_Sings._)

    A most unique young man,
    Who runs the car young man,
      Polite to the ladies
      And kind to the babies,
    A remarkably nice young man.

[Illustration:

    Who sells you a ticket
    Through a nice little wicket
    A thoroughly Alton man.]

[Illustration: "SOME OF US PRETTY, ALL OF US WITTY."]

[Illustration: "AH PATIENCE! I AM GLAD YOU ARE HERE. I AGAIN RENEW MY
SUIT."]

[Illustration: "CONCEIVE ME IF YOU CAN, AN EVERY-DAY YOUNG MAN."]

    Conceive me if you can,
    A C. & A. young man,
      Who is lavish in dress,
      And runs the express,
    A most unique young man.

                    ⁂

    A highly colored young man,
    A Pullman car young man,
      Whose name is Dalton;
      Who runs on the Alton,
    A thoro' bred black-and-tan.

    Conceive me if you can,
    A button and lace young man,
      Who tends to yer' daughters,
      Looks arter yer' quarters,
    A most polite young man.

                    ⁂

    A grimy, rough old man,
    A tough and bluff old man,
      Who swears like an Injun,
      And runs the engine,
    A Chicago and Alton man.

    Conceive me if you dare,
    A whizzing thro' the air,
      A puffing and blowing,
      Raining or snowing,
    And every time I'm there.

                    ⁂

    Another grim old man,
    A sooty and jolly old man,
      "I tends to the boiler;
      Sometimes I oil her,"
    A C. & A. stoker old man.

    Conceive me if you can,
    A spruce and clean old man;
      It's only a fable,
      I know you're not able,
    I'm such a sooty old man.

                    ⁂

    A dainty, timid young man,
    A handle-your-baggage young man,
      Who never does smash it,
      And never says dash it,
    A typical C. & A. man.

    Conceive me if you can,
    A most polite young man,
      Who's always urbane,
      And never profane,
    A Y. M. C. A. young man.

                    ⁂

    A suave and bland young man,
    A scented and puffed young man
      Who sells you a ticket,
      Thro' a nice little wicket,
    A thoroughly Alton man.

    Conceive me if you can,
    A most urbane young man.
      Correct in my money,
      Sweet as new honey,
    A perfectly good young man.

                    ⁂

[Illustration: I LOVE YOU AND AM YOURS FOREVER.]

[Illustration: Do not let that worry you, Grand Commander.]

[Illustration: "YES! CHOOSE FROM AMONG US."]

[Illustration: "REMEMBER THAT THE SOUL OF YOUR AMBITION HAS BEEN
REACHED WHEN YOU BECAME A CONDUCTOR ON THE CHICAGO AND ALTON R.R."]

              GENERAL CHORUS.

    We're all of us railroad men,
    Genial, jolly-souled men;
      Some of us pretty,
      All of us witty,
    Chicago & Alton men.

    Conceive us if you will,
    Jolly old bucks, but still
      We're always on time,
      And belong to the line
    That's right on the top of the hill.

            (_Exit_ GROSVENOR, _dancing_. _Enter_ PATIENCE.)

G· C·--Ah, Patience, I am glad you are here. I will again renew my suit.

PATIENCE--I sew no more, Grand Commander; I am a dairy maid now.

G· C·--I do not mean that, fair Patience; I mean that I will again
renew my request for your hand. Will you marry me?

PATIENCE--Do you drink?

G· C·--I do.

PATIENCE--Are you a gambler?

G· C·--I am.

PATIENCE--Do you smoke and chew tobacco, pick your teeth with a pin,
wear dirty collars, sit on saloon railings, shake dice for the drinks
in basement ginshops, and borrow money from your friends?

G· C·--I do.

PATIENCE--Do you write scurrilous anonymous letters about your female
relatives in the newspapers? Do you malign your friends, act the part
of a professional witness in divorce cases, and systematically breed
trouble in happy domestic circles?

G· C·--I do.

PATIENCE--Then I will marry you. I cannot love you, but I will marry
you.

G· C·--That makes no difference as long as you will marry me.

    (_Enter_ GROSVENOR _as a commonplace conductor on the Chicago &
    Alton Railroad, accompanied by_ ANGELA, SAPHIR, _and others_.)

GROSVENOR--(_Sings._)

    Conceive me if you can,
    An every-day young man,
    A commonplace type,
    With a stick and a pipe,
    An every-day young man.

PATIENCE--What is this I see, Grosvenor--Archibald with his hair cut!
Oh, Archibald, is it you? Can it be that you are indeed a common person
once more?

GROSVENOR--It is. I am still connected with the Chicago & Alton
Railroad, it is true, but I am once more a commonplace young man.

PATIENCE--Then to love you would not be selfish, Archibald, I have
promised to marry the Grand Commander if I live or die; but that makes
no difference, I love you and am yours forever.

G· C·--This is too much. Then I am jilted?

PATIENCE--Do not let that worry you, Grand Commander. You will find
another who will be ready to appreciate the many advantages to be
derived from a marriage with a man of your attainments.

          (ANGELA, SAPHIR, _and other fair maidens together_.)

Yes, choose from among us.

    (_Enter conductors--each one takes a fair one under his wing._)

GROSVENOR--May you all be happy, and may you all live to learn that to
be perfectly utter in your walk of life, the goal has been reached when
you become a conductor on the Chicago & Alton Railroad.

ALL--We know it.

                            (QUICK CURTAIN.)

[Illustration]

[Illustration: FINIS]


                        SHUMWAY, BURGESS & CO.

                             BOLT MAKERS.

            BOLT HEADING AND NUT TAPPING MACHINES FOR SALE.

                   COR. MICHIGAN AND FRANKLIN STS.,

                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


         VULCAN IRON WORKS, 80 to 90 N. Clinton St., Chicago.

                            [Illustration]

     Steam Excavators.--RAILROAD CAR PILE DRIVERS--Steam Derricks.

                            FITTED UP WITH

                    SKINNER'S PATENT STEAM HAMMERS,

A very effective machine,--simple, automatic and durable,--with recent
improvements.

                                CHICAGO & ALTON RAILROAD COMPANY,
                                          OFFICE OF GENERAL ROADMASTER,

                                  BLOOMINGTON, ILL., Oct. 30, 1882.

W. H. WARRINGTON, ESQ., President Vulcan Iron Works.--DEAR SIR: The
Skinner Pile Driver Hammer, built by your Company, has been in use on
our Pile Driver Car since last April, and we are much pleased with
its work. It has always given entire satisfaction, doing the work
effectively and economically. Respectfully yours,

                                                               W. RILEY,
                                                       Gen'l Roadmaster.

       *       *       *       *       *


                        THE CHICAGO VARNISH CO.

                    Manufacturers of the Celebrated

                     "STANDARD RAILWAY VARNISHES."

           Verdict of more than Thirty Roads now using them;

                   "UNEQUALED FOR RAILWAY PURPOSES."

                  OFFICE,--204 PINE STREET,--CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           MEACHAM & WRIGHT,

                       MANUFACTURERS' AGENTS FOR

                         UTICA AND LOUISVILLE

                          HYDRAULIC CEMENTS,

                            AND DEALERS IN

        Lime, Michigan and New York Stucco and Portland Cement,

                           98 MARKET STREET,

                     TELEPHONE 434.      CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                 A. E. ADAMS, Prest. and Treas.
                       L. WILKINSON, Supt.
                        FRED. M. STEELE, Secy.

                       CHICAGO FORGE & BOLT CO.

                           MANUFACTURERS OF

                       LOCOMOTIVE AND CAR AXLES,

                        _Bridge and Dock Rods_,

      Equalizing Bars, Shafting & Stonework of all Kinds, Plates,
                           Washers, Angles,

           Bolts and Hot Pressed Nuts of Every Description.

                [Illustration: OFFICE, 93 LAKE STREET,

               Telephone No. 5098. Under Tremont House.]

                 CHICAGO.      WORKS AT SOUTH CHICAGO.
                          Telephone No. 9846.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           JONES & LAUGLINS.

                           MANUFACTURERS OF

                      BAR, SHEET AND PLATE IRON,

            Bridge Iron, Cut Nails and Spikes, Railroad and
                Boat Spikes, Light T Rails, Patent Cold
                  Rolled Shafting, Patent Cold Rolled
                      Iron and Steel Piston Rods,
                       Coupling Links and Pins.

                              DEALERS IN

                           RAILWAY SUPPLIES

                          AND HEAVY HARDWARE.

                   Lake and Canal Sts.,--- Chicago.

       *       *       *       *       *


CHICAGO AND NEW YORK.

The two cities above named are the great commercial centers of the
United States, the former containing in the vicinity of 650,000
inhabitants, and the latter about 1,500,000. The number of people
actually in Chicago at any one time would doubtless range far above
these figures, as its floating or transient population is enormous,
running up into figures that can hardly be credited. The traffic
passing between these two cities daily is very large when one considers
that they are within a fraction of 1,000 miles apart. Boston also has a
large traffic with Chicago, and to give an idea of the accommodations
necessary to provide for the passenger business alone between the three
cities, we may state that the

                       Michigan Central Railroad,

which is the principal thoroughfare between the cities named, runs
five express trains daily--three on Sundays--made up of fine new day
coaches, smoking cars, drawing-room cars, palatial sleeping cars.

The Michigan Central Railroad has always held a foremost place amongst
the lines between Chicago and the Atlantic sea-board, and the latest
addition to their accommodations in the shape of four new Dining Cars
will greatly strengthen its position.

These new cars are incomparable for beauty of design and selectness of
adornments, all the elegancies of art having been exhausted to produce
the most desirable effect. That the end has been gained, goes without
saying, and they stand to-day as far in advance of other Dining Cars as
the first Dining Cars were in advance of the lunch counters at wayside
stations.

The _cuisine_ is quite on a par with the finish of the cars, and all
that may minister to the nourishment of the body, or tickle the palate
of the most discriminating epicures, will be found therein.

Other great features of the Michigan Central Railroad are that its
through trains for New York and Boston run out of Chicago along the
Michigan Lake front within a stone's throw of the city's costliest
mansions, through South Park and the magic city of Pullman, affording
an extensive survey of this marvel of a marvelous age, and later
passing in full view of Niagara Falls. It is for this latter reason
known to all travelers as "The Niagara Falls Route."

       *       *       *       *       *


                    "A TEMPLE OF COMMERCE AND ART."

                          THE NEW PREMISES OF

                           A. S. GAGE & CO.

                  Wabash Avenue, Corner Adams Street,

                               CHICAGO.

  [Illustration: The handsomest building and most complete in all its
              appointments of any in America, devoted to
                manufacturing and wholesale purposes.]

                           FANCY DRY GOODS,

                CORSETS, WHITE GOODS, HOSIERY, NOTIONS

                                  AND

                              MILLINERY.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           KNISELY & MILLER,

                     SLATE, TIN AND IRON ROOFERS,

                           MANUFACTURERS OF

   _The Hayes Patent Skylight, Conservatories, etc. Galvanized Iron
    Cornices, Corrugated Iron for Roofing, etc. Iron Crestings and
                               Finials._

   Special attention given to first-class work. Send for Illustrated
                         Catalogue and Prices.

                 68 to 74 W. Monroe Street,--CHICAGO.

[Illustration]

       *       *       *       *       *


                     B. V. PAGE.      S. A. BAKER.

                           B. V. PAGE & CO.

                           MANUFACTURERS OF

               Lard Oil, Neats Foot Oil and Cotton Waste

                              DEALERS IN

                     LUBRICATING AND BURNING OILS,

                    FACTORY, 44 TO 54 ERIE STREET,

            Office, 40 Michigan Avenue,      CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                      CRANE BROS. MANF'G COMPANY,

                           MANUFACTURERS OF

             Standard Weight, Lap-Weld Wrought Iron Pipe,

                            _STEAM PUMPS_,

   Steam and Gas Fittings, Steam and Hydraulic Freight and Passenger

                               ELEVATORS

           STEAM HOISTING ENGINES FOR FURNACES, MINES, ETC.

              General Offices, 10 North Jefferson Street,

                SEND FOR CATALOGUE.      CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                        OTIS IRON AND STEEL CO.

                           CLEVELAND, OHIO.

                           MANUFACTURERS OF

                    Steel Boiler and Fire-Box Plate

                       STEEL AXLES AND FORGINGS.

                                AGENTS

  JOHN H. BELCHER,                     44 Astor House Offices, New York.
  JOHN V. AYERS' SONS,                                          Chicago.
  ANDREW WARREN,                                              St. Louis.
  HUNTINGTON HOPKINS & CO.,                               San Francisco.

       *       *       *       *       *


                          BURKE, WALKER & CO.

                               WHOLESALE

                              DRY GOODS,

                  230, 232, 234 AND 236 ADAMS STREET,

                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                        GOVERNMENT GOODS DEPOT.

                      INGRAM, KITCHEN & WILLIAMS,

                  Quartermaster and Ordnance Stores,

                    GENERAL MERCHANDISE COMMISSION,

                  77 & 79 Madison St.,      CHICAGO.

                    _Manufacturers and Dealers in_

              MILITARY AND BAND UNIFORMS AND EQUIPMENTS,

                Knight Templars' Uniforms and Supplies,

     POLICE, FIREMEN AND SOCIETY CLOTHING, UNIFORM HATS AND CAPS.

            Tents, Camp Equipage, Awnings and Wagon Covers,

          MILITARY SADDLES, CARRIAGE, WAGON AND CART HARNESS.

                    RAILROAD UNIFORMS A SPECIALTY.

[Illustration]

       *       *       *       *       *


                         E.S. ALEXANDER & CO.

                         SOLE MANUFACTURERS OF

                              ALEXANDER'S

                      Four Ace Preserving Paint.

For more than _twenty years_ this paint has been in general use by
master mechanics, master car builders and chief engineers upon the
principal railroads in this country, who have pronounced it _superior_
to any paint they have ever used, for the many purposes to which it
has been applied, viz.: For painting _car roofs_, the _upper_ face and
_outside_ of _car sills_, the _mortise_ and _tenon_ when building or
repairing cars, the _outside_ of locomotive boilers before the lag is
put on, the inside of _locomotive tanks_ to protect the iron from rust,
the inside of _pits of tenders_ to protect the iron from the injurious
effects of the coal, _trucks_, _wheels_, _bridge timbers_, _turn
tables_, the _inside_ of _station water tanks_, _roofs of buildings_,
_etc._, _etc._ It penetrates wood, forming a body in the same, which
_no other paint does_. Is _impervious_ to _water_, and the _best
preserver_ known.

The foundation of this paint is _creosote_, which in its nature, is
very _penetrating_ and the best known _preserver_. It is mixed ready
for use, and _one gallon_ of _this paint_ will cover _twice_ the
_surface_ of any other paint in use. This paint is very extensively
used for painting _vessel hulls_.

Books with full particulars will be sent to parties, by addressing

                                    E.S. ALEXANDER & CO., Chicago, Ills.

       *       *       *       *       *


                         MARSHALL FIELD & CO.

                          WHOLESALE. RETAIL.

           Madison and Market sts. State and Washington sts.

                               CHICAGO.

             _Dry Goods_, _Cloaks_, _Costumes_, _Shawls_,
                     _Furs_, _Woolens_, _Notions_,

                 _Men's_, _Women's_, _and Children's_

                   _Furnishing Goods_, _Carpetings_,
                         _Curtain Materials_,
                 _Tapestries_, _Furniture Coverings_,

                            _And Goods for_

                       "_Home Art Decorations._"

                   *       *       *       *       *

                  _Largest and Most Complete Lines._

                   *       *       *       *       *

            _We are Sole Agents for United States for the_

                  Celebrated "ALEXANDRE" Kid Gloves,

                       THE BEST KID GLOVE MADE.

       _And we make a Specialty of producing private designs in_

                 _Carpets, Rugs & Upholstering Goods_,

     _To correspond with architectural features of rooms, and of_

                    _Furnishing Churches, Theaters,
                          Hotels and Homes_.

              CHICAGO VISITORS CORDIALLY INVITED TO CALL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                            THE BARAGWANATH
                            "STEAM JACKET"
                    FEED WATER HEATER AND PURIFIER.

                               DELIVERS
                              FEED WATER
                         SEVERAL DEGREES ABOVE
                            BOILING POINT,
                                  AND
                         REDUCES BACK PRESSURE
                            ON THE ENGINE.

                            [Illustration]

                              IT REMOVES
                        SCALE AND INCRUSTATION
                             FROM BOILERS,
                              SAVES FUEL,
                        INCREASES THE STEAMING
                         CAPACITY OF BOILERS,
                                  AND
                         SAVES BOILER REPAIRS.

                WM. BARAGWANATH, PACIFIC BOILER WORKS,

        _Quincy Street, near Desplaines_,      _CHICAGO, ILL._

       *       *       *       *       *


                                                         RAILWAY ANNUALS
                                                           A SPECIALITY.

  WESTERN
                  BANK NOTE
                                    AND
                                            ENG. COMP'Y,
                                                            CHICAGO.

Bonds, Drafts, Checks, Certificates, Merchants' Stationery, Bankers'
Supplies.

       *       *       *       *       *


                       J. S. FORD, JOHNSON & CO.

                           MANUFACTURERS OF
                          CHAIRS AND SETTEES.

                          A SPECIALTY MADE OF
                    THE GARDNER PERFORATED SETTEES
                         FOR PASSENGER DEPOTS.

                              FACTORIES:
                        Michigan City, Indiana.

                         OFFICE AND WAREROOMS:
                 267 & 269 Wabash Ave., Chicago, Ill.

       *       *       *       *       *


                         PALMER, FULLER & CO.

                          Wholesale Mfrs. of
                             SASH, DOORS,
                                BLINDS,
                          MOULDINGS, STAIRS,
                        Stair Railing, Newels,
                        Mantels, Pew Ends, etc.

Estimates, Price Lists, or any information in our line, furnished on
application.

[Illustration]

                              Dealers in
                             LUMBER, LATH,
                               SHINGLES.

                              Dry Dressed
                           Finishing Lumber
                             A SPECIALTY.

                          Office and Factory,
                        West 22d and Union Sts.
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


The most SIMPLE, ECONOMICAL and EFFECTIVE device of its kind in use.

It cannot be detached from the box; is not liable to be broken by the
rough usage box lids are subjected to; will close from the jar of the
train if left open; is all made of cast iron, and requires no fitting
after it leaves the foundry.

[Illustration]

The best endorsement of "The Hewitt Box Lid" is the large number of
them now in use, and we especially refer to those Railroad Companies
who have had it =longest in use=, as to its merits.

Reasonable terms made for royalty per car, or for license covering the
right to use on entire car equipment.

                      THE HEWITT BOX LID COMPANY,

                                              142 Dearborn St., CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                  N. & A. MIDDLETON & CO. (Limited).

                           MANUFACTURERS OF
                          RAILWAY CAR SPRINGS

                            [Illustration]

                         142 DEARBORN STREET,
                             CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                          S. D. Childs & Co.

                   GENERAL ENGRAVERS AND STATIONERS

                     163 Dearborn Street, Chicago.

    Wedding and Invitation Cards, Calling Cards, Crests, Monograms,
      etc. A full line of Knights Templar Cards--Illuminated and
   Embossed. Latest Novelties in Society Stationery, Menu and Guest
                         Cards always on hand.

       *       *       *       *       *


                      CHICAGO MALLEABLE IRON CO.

                           MANUFACTURERS OF
                    REFINED MALLEABLE IRON CASTINGS
                               TO ORDER.

       OFFICE AND WORKS NEAR COR. BLUE ISLAND AND WESTERN AVES.

            REACHED BY BLUE ISLAND AVE. CARS.      CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                         CHICAGO CHAIN WORKS,
                     Nos. 98 & 100 Indiana Street,
                S. G. TAYLOR, PROPRIETOR,      CHICAGO.

                MANUFACTURER OF ALL KINDS AND SIZES OF
                    Cable Chains, Brake Chains, and
                   Grain Door Chains for R.R. Cars.
                 Also Safety Chains and Switch Chains.
           Best Crane, Dredge and Block Chains a Specialty.

       *       *       *       *       *


                              POOLE BROS.
                           RAILROAD PRINTERS
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                         FREDERICK SCHNEIDER,
                      MANUFACTURER AND DEALER IN
     Stained, Enameled, Embossed, Cut, Ground, Colored and Beveled
                                 GLASS

     Office, 80 & 82 Market Street, between Madison and Washington
                               Streets,
                             CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                   VICTOR LASSAGNE.      A. DUPUIS.

                            [Illustration]

                         RESTAURANT FRANÇAIS,
                                ÉLITE.
                       FOR LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

                                KEPT BY
                          LASSAGNE & DUPUIS,

        PRIVATE ROOMS.      77 & 79 Clark Street, CHICAGO, ILL.

         Opposite the Court House. North of Grand Opera House.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           TO TICKET AGENTS.
                            _IN THE PRESS._
           A splendid edition of D. DALZIEL'S new Parody of
                               IOLANTHE.
               _To be published on or about October 15._

Also some new works for CHRISTMAS. Advertisers will please send their
favors to

                            JAMES CHARLTON,
                 _General Passenger and Ticket Agent_,
                        CHICAGO AND ALTON R.R.
                       Dearborn Street, CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                             CHERRIE & CO.
                     RAILS AND RAILWAY FASTENINGS,
                               PIG IRON,
           Lake Superior Charcoal, Pennsylvania Anthracite,
                    MALLEABLE AND CAR WHEEL IRONS,

                                OFFICE,
                      90 AND 92 DEARBORN STREET,
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                  E. J. LEHMANN.      CHAS. KINSMAN.
                              "The Fair."

                          LEHMANN & KINSMAN.
                        192 & 194 State Street,
                          CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

                  Importers and Wholesale Dealers in

    Fancy Goods, Jewelry, Watches, Clocks, Silver Plated Ware, Optical
    Goods, Cutlery, Musical Instruments, Stationery, Druggists'
    Sundries, Baskets, Bird Cages, Picture Frames, ALBUMS, DOLLS, TOYS.
    New Goods. Immense Assortment. THE CHEAPEST HOUSE IN THE WEST. WE
    GUARANTEE OUR PRICES THE VERY LOWEST. Send for Catalogue.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           GEO. F. KIMBALL,
                        IMPORTER AND DEALER IN
                 Polished Plate, Car AND Window Glass
                   AND GENUINE FRENCH MIRROR PLATES,

                        45 & 47 JACKSON STREET,
            Between State St. and Wabash Ave.      CHICAGO.

                   3/16 POLISHED PLATE FOR CAR USE.

       *       *       *       *       *


                         VERGHO, RUHLING & CO.
                          PROPRIETORS OF THE
                       Finest and Most Complete
                       FANCY GOODS AND TOY STORE
                             IN THE WEST.

       We have at all times an immense assortment of _Bicycles_,
     _Velocipedes_, _Express Wagons_, _Hammocks_, _Croquet_, _Lawn
     Tennis_, _etc._, _and the largest line of RICH FANCY GOODS IN
   THE WEST_. We have only new, fresh, and desirable goods. We sell
    same at reasonable prices, and we aim to satisfy every one. Our
  assortment is unsurpassed, our stock the largest and our store the
                        finest in the country.

                         WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.

           Northeast Cor. Wabash Avenue and Madison Street.
                          CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

       *       *       *       *       *


          D. L. WELLS, Pres't.      E. MARINER, Vice Pres't,
      H. L. NORTON, Sec'y and Treas.      F. E. WALKER, Engineer.
                       C. F. SCOVILLE, Manager.

                         BRIDGE AND CAR WORKS
                              --OF THE--
                          WELLS & FRENCH CO.

                                OFFICE:
          Hawley Building, cor. Madison and Dearborn Streets,
                             CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                        Victor Station Settees.
                                DESKS.
                   For General Offices and Stations.

                            [Illustration]

                               THEY SAY
                           LOW CURTAIN DESKS
                             ARE PERFECT.

                            [Illustration]

                  Special Cases, Letter Press Cases,
                            MADE TO ORDER.

                            [Illustration]

                                  LOW
                                PRICES!

                            [Illustration]

                       Racine Boats and Canoes.
                   THE BEST IS ALWAYS THE CHEAPEST.
            Send for descriptive circulars and price-lists.

                          THOMAS KANE & CO.,
                            MANUFACTURERS,
                    Office: 137 & 139 Wabash Ave.,
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                          SALISBURY & CLINE,
       109 MADISON STREET, CHICAGO.      WESTERN AGENTS FOR THE
                        BOSTON BELTING COMPANY,
          Manufacturers of =FIRST QUALITY RAILROAD SUPPLIES=.

    Air Brake Hose, Suction Hose, Pure Rubber Packing, Italian Hemp
   Packing, Steam Hose, Round and Square Piston Packing, Valves and
  Gaskets, Empire Packing, Conducting Hose, Plain Packing, Soap-Stone
                      Packing, Asbestos Packing.

      JENKINS PACKINGS. BOSTON BELTING CO'S SMOOTH SURFACE PATENT
    STRETCHED RUBBER BELT. Pure Oak Tanned Short Lap Leather Belt.
            Rubber Clothing and All Kinds of Rubber Goods.

       *       *       *       *       *


               HENRY I. HIGGINS.      W. C. WHITTEMORE.

                         _H. I. HIGGINS & CO._
                       STEEL RAILS, IRON RAILS,
                             OLD AND NEW,

      Splices, Bolts, Railroad Spikes, Pratt Washers, Otis Steel,
                Car Wheels and Axles, Iron, Nails, etc.

                OFFICE, 68 WASHINGTON STREET, CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           CHAS. D. COLSON,
                   IMPORTER, MANUFACTURER AND DEALER
                                --IN--
                             FIRE BRICKS,

  FURNACE TILES,
                LOCOMOTIVE FIRE-BOX TILES,
                                          CUPOLA LININGS,
                                                          BRASS FURNACES.

      CONNELLSVILLE COKE. ALBANY MOULDING SAND. FOUNDRY FACINGS.

                          PLUMBAGO CRUCIBLES.

  FOUNDRY RIDDLES (STEEL AND BRASS). BELLOWS. AMES' MOULDER SHOVELS.
                      STEEL AND BRISTLE BRUSHES.

                  SMOKE-JACKS. CULVERT PIPE. CEMENT.

                        SOLE WESTERN AGENTS FOR

  CONNELLSVILLE COKE AND IRON CO.
              SAVAGE FIRE-BRICK CO.
                       WEST VIRGINIA FIRE-BRICK CO.
                                        SCIOTO FIRE-BRICK CO.
                                     PHOENIX MANUFACTURING CO. CRUCIBLES.
                                                        ETC., ETC.

                     184 and 186 Washington Street,
                             CHICAGO, ILLS.

       *       *       *       *       *


                             ED. E. AYER,
                               DEALER IN
         Railroad Cross Ties, Piling, Switch and Bridge Ties,
                           TELEGRAPH POLES,
                  CEDAR PAVING AND FENCE POSTS, ETC.

              Proprietor Ayer Mills, Flagstaff, Arizona.

                       ALL KINDS OF PINE LUMBER,
                          SHINGLE, LATH, ETC.

                           LUMBER SURFACED.

             Office, · 234 South Water Street, · CHICAGO.
                        TELEPHONE NUMBER, 853.

                           DOCK, NORTH PIER.
   TELEPHONE, NO. 3195 NORTH PIER, AND NO. 853, 234 SOUTH WATER ST.

       *       *       *       *       *


                            I. E. BRABROOK,
                                 FINE
                          Merchant Tailoring,
                     172 S. CLARK STREET, CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                            ORR & LOCKETT,
                              Dealers in
             Hardware, Fine Cutlery and Mechanics' Tools.

[Illustration]

    Sole agents in Chicago for the celebrated _Norton Door Check and
    Spring_. "Its work is almost human." Send for circular. We make
    a specialty of fine _Bronze Builders' Trimmings_, carrying the
    largest stock in the city of Builders' Hardware. Joseph Rodgers &
    Sons', Wostenholm's, and other leading brands of fine _Cutlery_, in
    great variety.

                             ORR & LOCKETT,
          _Near Monroe_.      _184 & 186 CLARK St., CHICAGO._

       *       *       *       *       *


                    A. B. MEEKER.      W. L. BROWN.

                          A. B. MEEKER & CO.,
                MANUFACTURERS, IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN
                               PIG IRON,
                     93, 95 & 97 DEARBORN STREET,
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           BURLEY & TYRRELL,
                         83 & 85 STATE STREET,
                               CHICAGO.

[Illustration]

Fine "Art Pottery,"

                                                     Choice Table Wares,

Brilliant Cut Glass,

                                                       Unique Bronze and

Polished Brass Ornaments.

                            Artistic Lamps.

            ARTICLES OF HIGH STANDARD AT REASONABLE PRICES.

                      WE INVITE YOUR INSPECTION.

       *       *       *       *       *


                  CARPETS, FURNITURE, CURTAIN GOODS,

      Fine and Medium Grades at POPULAR PRICES, and satisfaction
             guaranteed to every purchaser. A large choice
                         stock to select from.

                          CHICAGO CARPET CO.
                   Wabash Avenue and Monroe Street.

       *       *       *       *       *


                   Ellithorpe Fire-Proof Warehouse,
              46, 48, 50 & 52 N. MORGAN STREET, CHICAGO.

           Largest and Most Complete Warehouse in the West.

                 STORAGE FOR ALL KINDS OF MERCHANDISE.

            F. T. ELLITHORPE,       PROPRIETOR AND MANAGER.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           THE BAKER HEATER
                 IS UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED TO BE THE
               Best Apparatus for Warming Railroad Cars.

    It warms the floor of the car, and the feet of each passenger.
    It permits thorough ventilation. The temperature can be easily
    regulated. It does not freeze up, and is always ready for use. It
    uses less fuel than any other heater. It is in use in hundreds of
    ordinary cars, and in nearly all the drawing-room, dining, sleeping
    and special cars in the country.

                               Address,
                          BAKER, SMITH & CO.
     149 & 151 Greene Street, NEW YORK, or 81 & 83 Jackson Street,
                             CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                          SLAYMAKER & DOUGLAS,
                               DEALERS IN

[Illustration]

  _Hardware_, _Stoves_,
                      _Ranges_, _Furnaces_,
                                 _Oil Stoves_, _Refrigerators_,
  _Water Coolers_, _Water Filters_,
                   _Tin Ware_, _Granite Ware_,
                                  _Wooden Ware_, _Silver Ware_,

                      Plated Ware, Fine Brasses,
              Bar Goods, Bird Cages, Guns and Revolvers,
                Rodger's Cutlery, Wostenholm's Cutlery,
                             TOOLS, NAILS,
                      And House Furnishing Goods,

                        88 NORTH CLARK STREET,
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                                PATIENCE

When possible, is, undoubtedly, a gem equal in value, in some
respects, to the "pearl of great price." It helped Job through some
rough experiences. But it will be scarcely available to most of the
good people of this country when they come to know of the Royal Arch
grandeurs awaiting their enjoyment at the charming Summer Resorts in
Wisconsin, Minnesota and Iowa, where they are as thick as diamonds in
Golconda all along the lines of that _Great Bonanza Railway_, whose
other name is

                     CHICAGO, MILWAUKEE & ST. PAUL,

unless they can get at them "right away quick." _Then_ they cannot
control their

                               IMPATIENCE

to at once view those delightful spots,--

        "Where breezes baffle heat;
    Where shaded dells and mossy coverts be;
    Where giant trees to heaven raise their heads;
    Where earth is free, and nature unconfined
        Fills the soul with reverence."

       *       *       *       *       *

_Then_

    Conceive me if you can
    In a fairy summer land,
        Where weary bones find rest
        In loose and careless dress,
    A jolly, contented old man.

In plain prose: Those who wish to be enlightened as to matters so
imminently concerning their welfare, can be so far gratified, by
applying (before the edition is exhausted) to A. V. H. Carpenter,
General Passenger Agent, Milwaukee, Wis., for a copy of the beautifully
illustrated book entitled "A Reconnaissance of the Golden Northwest,"
and for a copy of "The Tourist's Guide".


       *       *       *       *       *


                          HOOSAC TUNNEL ROUTE

  TROY & BOSTON
                                                   AND FITCHBURG
                                RAILROADS.

                      THE SHORT AND FAST LINE FOR
                                BOSTON
                      AND ALL NEW ENGLAND POINTS.

                           DAILY =4= TRAINS
                                BETWEEN
                        ALBANY, TROY AND BOSTON
                            WITHOUT CHANGE.

                   NOTICE! The Only Line over which
                   WAGNER'S NEW PALACE SLEEPING CARS
             Are run both via Albany and Troy, to and from
                     ST. LOUIS, CHICAGO AND BOSTON
                            WITHOUT CHANGE.

         TICKETS ON SALE AT ALL DEPOT AND CITY TICKET OFFICES.

  BE SURE AND ASK FOR TICKETS VIA TROY & BOSTON HOOSAC TUNNEL ROUTE.

                            _D. ROBINSON_,
            _Pres't and Gen'l Manager Troy & Boston R.R._

                           _W. B. STEARNS_,
                      _President Fitchburg R.R._

    _C. E. LAMBERT, Gen'l Passenger Agent Troy & Boston R.R._ AND
               _East Bound Traffic Hoosac Tunnel Route_.

               _Office, 135 Randolph St., CHICAGO, ILL._

       *       *       *       *       *


                    The Steam Gauge and Lantern Co.
                           115 Lake Street,
             MORTIMER McROBERTS, Agent.      CHICAGO, ILL.

                       Manufacture all kinds of
                   RAILROAD AND CONDUCTOR LANTERNS,
              Head Lights, Tail Lights and Bridge Lights.

       Owners of Patents on Numbers and Signals in Head Lights.

            STATION LAMPS, SWITCH LAMPS, INSPECTORS' LAMPS.

           EXTENSION LAMPS FOR TELEGRAPH OPERATORS' TABLES.

    Sole Owners of the TUBULAR LAMP and LANTERN Patents and BUFFALO
                             STEAM GAUGES.

              _Correspondence with Railroads Solicited._

       *       *       *       *       *


                      THE PLUME & ATWOOD MFG. CO.
                           115 LAKE STREET,
             MORTIMER McROBERTS, Agent.      CHICAGO, ILL.

                              Manufacture
                     SHEET BRASS AND SHEET COPPER,
                  BRASS RODS, BRASS AND COPPER WIRE,
             Copper Rivets and Burs, Brass and Iron Chain,
        COPPER WIRE FOR TELEPHONE AND ELECTRIC LIGHT PURPOSES.
               BURNERS FOR ALL KINDS OF RAILROAD LAMPS.

                _Catalogues furnished on application._

       *       *       *       *       *


                        Ansonia Clock Company,
                            _MANUFACTURERS_

                            [Illustration]

                          Office Regulators,
                               RAILROAD
                             TIME KEEPERS,
                              STREET AND
                             TOWN CLOCKS.

                            [Illustration]

                            [Illustration]

                            [Illustration]

                           Nickel Novelties,
                            MANTEL CLOCKS,
                                BRONZE
                              ORNAMENTS.

                            [Illustration]

                    Offices: 64 WASHINGTON STREET,
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                   Hibbard, Spencer, Bartlett & Co.

                            [Illustration]

                              JOBBERS OF
                               HARDWARE,
               Tin Plate, Metals, Nails and Wire Fence,
                            CUTLERY, GUNS,
                 _Fishing Tackle and Sporting Goods_,
         24, 26, 28, 30 & 32 LAKE STREET, CORNER WABASH AVE.,
                             CHICAGO, ILL.

       *       *       *       *       *


                          A WORD TO THE WISE.

                             LITHOGRAPHING
                         OF EVERY DESCRIPTION,
                                  FOR
            Theatrical, Railroad _and_ Commercial Purposes.

                                  THE
                     JONES LITHOGRAPHING COMPANY.

                COLORED SHOW AND RAILROAD LITHOGRAPHING
                             A SPECIALTY.

      _We employ none but the very best Artists, and our work is
            considered the very best in the United States._

                     Address all Communications to
                             PHIL G. DICK,
                            SUPERINTENDENT,
                   THE JONES LITHOGRAPHING COMPANY,
             _167, 169 & 171 Dearborn Street, CHICAGO_.

       *       *       *       *       *


                                  THE
                            J. M. W. JONES
                     Stationery and Printing Co.,
                  CORNER DEARBORN AND MONROE STREETS,
                               CHICAGO,
                           MANUFACTURERS OF
                 The Stromberg Improved Coupon Ticket
                              ----AND----
               CONSECUTIVELY NUMBERED RAILROAD TICKETS.

  Blank Books and Railroad Blanks of every description made to order.

               LITHOGRAPHED DRAFTS, CHECKS, BONDS, ETC.

                              DEALERS IN
                       LIGHT RAILROAD SUPPLIES.

  Coupon and Local Ticket Cases,
            Dating Stamps, Rubber Stamps,
                          Conductors' Punches, Car Seal Punches,
                 =L=, =B C=, =2 C= and =½= Punches.

            BRASS BAGGAGE CHECKS, EYELETTING MACHINES, SEAL
             PRESSES, WAYBILL COPYING PRESSES, HAT BADGES,
                   FOLDER BOXES, TARIFF PORTFOLIOS,
                                  AND
              _PASSENGER AND TICKET SUPPLIES IN GENERAL_.

             The J. M. W. JONES STATIONERY & PRINTING CO.
                    167, 169 & 171 Dearborn Street,
                               CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


              Established 1844.      Re-christened 1880.

          "_Advertising is to business what steam power is to
                        commerce._"--MACAULAY.

                                  THE
            Jno. B. Jeffery Printing _and_ Engraving House
                   159 & 161 Dearborn St., Chicago.

                         Formerly known as the
                     CHICAGO + EVENING + JOURNAL.

   _Standing firmly upon an established reputation, it will continue
  to serve its patrons with the same zeal, fidelity and ability that
    have always characterized its transactions and have placed it_

                       FOREMOST AMONG THE GREAT
                RAILROAD, COMMERCIAL AND SHOW PRINTING
                     ESTABLISHMENTS OF THE WORLD.

                    _Address all communications to_

                                                      _John B. Jeffery_,
                                            Sole Proprietor and Manager.

       *       *       *       *       *


                 TOOTLE'S OPERA HOUSE, ST. JOSEPH, MO.

The reputation this theater has made for itself, and the fact that it
is known as the pioneer Opera House in the West, render it unnecessary
to offer any extended description. While theaters have been erected,
calculated to surpass in beauty and costliness Tootle's Opera
House, few, to-day, can legitimately claim equality, and none can
surpass it in all that pertains to the arrangement of a first-class
place of amusement. The stage is 40 × 67, with an opening 34 × 35,
and is furnished with a full complement of scenery. Recently the
house has been thoroughly renovated, repainted inside and outside,
and re-carpeted; a new drop curtain hung, and the apparatus for
lighting the gas by electricity placed in the building; a new steam
heating apparatus and the water works connection are also among the
improvements; capacity 1,500. Tootle's Opera House is located in the
very center of a city of 45,000 inhabitants.

                    GRAND OPERA HOUSE, TOPEKA, KAS.

Formerly known as _The Topeka Opera House_, but, to avoid a conflict of
titles, name changed to that of GRAND OPERA HOUSE.

The house was built by a stock company; 300 residents financially
interested; cost $60,000; capacity 1,500; stage is 60 × 67 feet; the
proscenium opening is 35 × 38 feet; eight large dressing rooms; full
complement of scenery; only ground floor Opera House in the city; can
be emptied in _one minute and a half_; absolute safety guaranteed to
the patrons of the Grand; Topeka is the capital of the State, and the
principal city, commercially and politically; constantly thronged with
strangers; resident population about 27,000. Messrs. Wood & Updegraff
are the local managers, but all communications should be addressed to
Mr. Craig, at St. Joseph, Mo.

                THE GILLIS OPERA HOUSE, KANSAS CITY, MO.

This elegant theater, rapidly approaching completion, is being erected
under the provisions of a will which requires _that the net earnings
of the house shall be applied to the maintenance of a permanent home
for destitute children_, and will be opened early in September, 1883.
When completed, the Gillis Opera House will have cost $100,000. It is
centrally located, being within four blocks of twelve hotels. Nearly
every street-car line in the city passes its doors, either on Fifth
or Walnut streets. It is therefore evident that the Gillis has a
decided advantage of location for the resident as well as the transient
population. All appointments of auditorium first-class; means of exit
ample--three entrances on ground floor, and two spacious staircases,
each 20 ft. wide. The stage of the Gillis is one of the largest in the
country, 42 × 124 ft.; height of scenery 28 ft.; height above scenery
32 ft.; proscenium opening 37 × 46 ft.; seventeen dressing rooms, green
room, reception room and music room. _First-class_ attractions can
safely book a week at the Gillis, and none other need apply; 109 nights
already booked. Population upwards of 100,000.

                            SPECIAL NOTICE.

SPIES & SMART, 12 Union Square, N.Y., are my accredited agents, and at
all times the open time at the Gillis, Tootle's, and the Grand can be
found on file at their office. I shall be there until June 20.

                                                       CORYDON F. CRAIG.

                         RAILROAD CONNECTIONS.

The average distance between these three cities is only 69 miles.
Omaha, Denver and St. Louis are the other principal cities in this
section. For rates address:

        A. C. DAWES, St. Joseph, Mo.          W. F. WHITE, Topeka, Kas.

             Send Printing to JOHN MULVIHILL, BILL POSTER,
                      Kansas City and St. Joseph.

                                     CORYDON F. CRAIG, Business Manager,
                                                         ST. JOSEPH, MO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           NATHAN & DREYFUS.
                   92 & 94 Liberty St., -- NEW YORK.

                             SOLE AGENTS,
                    Patentees and Manufacturers of

  Friedmann's Patent Injectors and Ejectors,
        Patent Locomotive Oil Cups and Lubricators,
              Watkey's Patent Valve Seats, and other Railway Specialties.

[Illustration: The "MONITOR" Locomotive Injector.]

The "MONITOR" is a new Locomotive Injector of widest range, with great
steadiness of action.

       *       *       *       *       *


                           CAST STEEL WORKS
                                  OF
                             FRIED. KRUPP,
                            ESSEN, GERMANY.

                American Office, 15 Gold St., New York.

                REPRESENTED } -- THOMAS PROSSER & SON.
                     BY     }

                           LOCOMOTIVE TIRES,
                    CRANK PINS, SPRING STEEL, ETC.
                   STEEL FORGINGS UP TO FIFTY TONS.

       *       *       *       *       *


          G. A. MARSH.      A. E. BINGHAM.      W. B. RANSOM.

                       MARSH, BINGHAM & RANSOM,
                           MANUFACTURERS OF
          Railway and Car Materials, Bridge and other Timber,
          PLANK, PILES, TIES, TELEGRAPH POLES AND CEDAR POSTS
                                 ALSO
                         COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
                    _OFFICE, 252 SOUTH WATER ST._,
                               CHICAGO.

         MILL AND YARD,           TELEPHONE NOS. { OFFICE 871.
      FOOT OF ILLINOIS ST.                       { MILL 3190.

       *       *       *       *       *


                          A. H. ANDREWS & CO.

                      195 and 197 Wabash Avenue,
                            CHICAGO, ILL.,

                           MANUFACTURERS OF
                            BANK COUNTERS,
                             OFFICE DESKS,
                          TABLES AND CHAIRS.

              [Illustration: No. 43. Curtain Desk, open.]

                             WOOD MANTELS,
                             FOLDING BEDS,
                              (BURR PAT.)
                        SEATING OF CHURCHES AND
                           PUBLIC BUILDINGS.

                            [Illustration]

                 School Desks and School Merchandise.

Largest Manufacturers in the World of _School Desks and Apparatus_,
the celebrated dovetail "_Triumph_" desk. Centennial and Paris first
awards. Also sixty kinds of Globes; fifty kinds of Blackboards; patent
Dustless Erasers, Kindergarten Materials, Maps, Charts, etc.

[Illustration]

                         ANDREWS' OPERA CHAIRS,

For Opera Houses, Churches and Halls. Noiseless Folding Seat and
Tilting Back, Hat, Foot, Umbrella and Cane Rest. Twenty Styles, and of
the latest improvements.

[Illustration: Bed Open.]

                    The Andrews' Parlor Folding Beds

Are the only Perfect Bed of the kind in existence. All the bedding
folds out of sight; occupies twenty-two inches space. Price $25 up.
Thirty styles.

                 Address for Catalogues, etc. as above.

[Illustration: Bed Closed.]

       *       *       *       *       *


                         S. H. & E. Y. MOORE,
                     163 & 165 LAKE ST., CHICAGO.

                 HEAVY HARDWARE AND RAILWAY SUPPLIES,
          ANTI-FRICTION BAGGAGE AND FREIGHT CAR DOOR HANGERS.
          NUTS, BOLTS, SCREWS, TRUCKS, BLOCKS, SPRINGS, ETC.

       *       *       *       *       *


                         CHICAGO RUBBER WORKS,
                           MANUFACTURERS OF
                 RUBBER GOODS FOR MECHANICAL PURPOSES.

                    [Illustration: _Ecce Signum!_]

 Rubber Belting, Hydrant Hose, Tanners' Hose, Brewers' Hose, Air Brake
     Hose, High Pressure Hose, Steam Hose, Fire Engine Hose, Wagon
       Springs, Packing, Wringer Rolls, Billiard Cushions, Pump
          Buckets, Etc. Also Mould Goods of all Descriptions.

                  Office, 179 Randolph St., CHICAGO.
  Factory, Grand Ave. and Rockwell St.      Correspondence Solicited.

       *       *       *       *       *


[Illustration: CAMPING]

[Illustration: BOATING]

[Illustration: TENTS]

                         FOR ANY AND ALL USES.

                              Dealers in
                     FISH NETS, SEINES AND TWINES,
                                AND ALL
                                FISHING
                              MATERIALS,
                        GEO. B. CARPENTER & CO.
                 (Successors to GILBERT HUBBARD & CO.)
               202 to 208 South Water St.,      CHICAGO.

         _Send for Circulars, mentioning The Courier-Journal._

       *       *       *       *       *


     JOHN T. WILSON, Chairman.      JOHN WALKER, Sec'y and Treas.

                         WILSON, WALKER & CO.
                              (LIMITED),
                      UNION FORGE AND IRON MILLS,
                            PITTSBURGH, PA.

                     MANUFACTURERS OF ALL KINDS OF
                          RAILROAD FORGINGS,
                               INCLUDING
    DRIVING AND CAR AXLES of Iron or Steel, LOCOMOTIVE FRAMES, ROCK
   SHAFTS, DRAW BARS, COUPLING LINKS AND PINS, ARCH BARS, FOLLOWERS,
                              Etc., Etc.

                          ALSO, ALL SIZES OF
                          MERCHANT BAR IRON,
                   UNIVERSAL MILL PLATES, ETC., ETC.

       *       *       *       *       *


                             EDGAR HOLMES,
                           _GENERAL BROKER_
                           GRANNIS BUILDING,
                         115 DEARBORN STREET,

                                                              _CHICAGO_.

Real Estate and Loans.

       *       *       *       *       *


                     THE LARGEST AND MOST COMPLETE
                      JOB AND BOOK PRINTING HOUSE
                              IN AMERICA.

                          RAND, McNALLY & CO.
                148-154 Monroe Street, CHICAGO, ILL.

                         FINE COLOR PRINTING.

  ENGRAVERS,
                ELECTROTYPERS,
                                 PRINTERS,
                                            LITHOGRAPHERS,
                                                            BOOK BINDERS.

                     MAP ENGRAVERS AND PUBLISHERS.

              RAND-McNALLY'S INDEXED ATLAS OF THE WORLD.
              Rand-McNally's Encyclopædia of Agriculture.
               RAND, McNALLY & CO'S BANKERS' DIRECTORY.

       *       *       *       *       *


                      A GRAND ADVERTISING MEDIUM.

                  Speaking to an interested Audience
                             Every Night.

                     THE OFFICIAL HOUSE PROGRAMME
                                OF THE
                          GRAND OPERA HOUSE,
                               CHICAGO.

       An excellent medium for Railroad and General Advertising

  Address, GEO. S. UTTER, Publisher,
                                      113 Randolph St., Room 16,
                                                                 CHICAGO.

                        A FIRST-CLASS JOB OFFICE
                 ALSO CONNECTED WITH THE ESTABLISHMENT.

       *       *       *       *       *


[Illustration]

                                  THE
                       ROCKFORD RAILROAD WATCH,
                     Is especially recommended for
             Railroad Men, Physicians, Miners, Lumbermen,
                      Expressmen, Travelers, and
                       others whose work demands
                         a close timer in hard
                               service.

               Factory, 498 Main St.      ROCKFORD, ILL.

                                     BIDDEFORD, MAINE, February 3, 1883.

ROCKFORD WATCH CO., Rockford, Ill.

GENTS: We have a little story to tell in regard to the running of one
of your adjusted movements on the Boston and Maine R.R. We sold it and
regulated it a short time before the engineer put it in his pocket, the
9th of last April, and ran it upon Cambridge time for ten months, and
the total variation was only 24 seconds, and then he neglected to wind
it up. Variation was less than 3 seconds when it ran down. He ran from
Dover to Portland, 105 miles a day.

                                                            Yours truly,
                                                     TWAMBLEY & CLEAVES.

The movement referred to in this letter is still carried daily by its
owner, Geo. W. Smith, on the engine Dover.

[Illustration: The man who did buy a Rockford watch.

(On board.)]

[Illustration: The man who did not buy a Rockford watch.

(He got left.)]

       *       *       *       *       *


        F. M. ATKINSON, President.      C. H. FERRY, Treasurer.

                       Works: MELROSE, ILLINOIS.

              [Illustration: CHICAGO TYRE & SPRING WORKS
                           · WASHINGTON ST ·
                                CHICAGO
                              OFFICE 94]

                   Sole Manufacturers in the West of
                        CAST STEEL CAR SPRINGS
                                  AND
                    Locomotive and Car Wheel Tyres.

We manufacture Springs for Passenger, Freight, Baggage and Express
Cars of every description, and Locomotive and Tender Springs to
specification. We use only the

                      BEST OBTAINABLE CAST STEEL,

of uniform quality, thoroughly =TEST= every Spring before shipment,
and fully =GUARANTEE= the same for the purpose intended. Capacity
twenty-five tons daily.

We roll tyres, both crucible and Siemen's Martin, from blooms
especially made for us in England. They are rolled true to
specification, and we give the most satisfactory assurances as to wear
and mileage. Present capacity, twenty Locomotive Tyres daily.

We fill all orders promptly.

                                       Chicago Office, 94 Washington St.

       *       *       *       *       *


 CALVIN WELLS, President and Treasurer.      JAS K. VERNER, Secretary.

                    Pittsburgh Forge and Iron Co.,
                   Office, Tenth St. near Penn Ave.,
                            PITTSBURGH, PA.

                       MANUFACTURERS OF HAMMERED
                       CAR AND LOCOMOTIVE AXLES.

                        WE MAKE A SPECIALTY OF
        _Our well-known brand of Railway Axles marked "Special"
            from new iron, guaranteed to be purely fibrous,
               and to stand the regulation drop test of
                      the Penna. R.R. Company._

                                 ALSO
                          BAR IRON AND BOLTS,
                        CHANNEL AND ANGLE IRON,
  BRIDGE BOLTS, plain and upset ends, all sizes, TRACK BOLTS, SQUARE
      and HEXAGON HEAD BOLTS, RIVETS, WASHERS, SPLICE BARS, Etc.

       *       *       *       *       *


                        RAILWAY PASSENGER AGENT
                         AND SUPPLY DIRECTORY,
                           A Weekly Journal
                 Devoted to Railways, Railway Supplies
                   and the Transportation Interests.

                      PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY.

_Terms, $4 per annum, in advance; six months, $2. Single copy, ten
cents._

_Correspondence on all topics of interest, notices of official changes,
and other items of news bearing on the passenger service, respectfully
solicited._

_Advertising rates made known on application._

_All business letters and communications should be addressed to the_

                                                RAILWAY PASSENGER AGENT,
                                             No. 243 State St., CHICAGO.

       *       *       *       *       *


                                  THE
                      CHICAGO & ATLANTIC RAILWAY
                             OFFERS TO YOU
                    THE MOST COMFORTABLE ROUTE WHEN
                              GOING EAST.

        The TRAINS are Elegant, all new, and were built by the
                      PULLMAN PALACE CAR COMPANY.

                          Go and see them at
         SOUTH SIDE UNION DEPOT, cor. Polk St. and Fourth Ave.

                          CITY TICKET OFFICE,
                _119 Washington Street_,      CHICAGO.

                              S. W. SNOW,
                       GENERAL PASSENGER AGENT.

       *       *       *       *       *


                 The Chicago and Grand Trunk Railway,
                        IN CONNECTION WITH THE
                         GRAND TRUNK RAILWAY,

Again takes great pleasure in announcing to the public its new
arrangements of accommodations, facilities, fast time, comfort and
pleasure for reaching the seaboard cities.

Commencing Monday, June 25, a Fast Limited Express will be placed on
this line, running between Chicago and New York and Boston, leaving
Chicago daily at 3.30 P.M., arriving in New York at 9 o'clock P.M. next
day, and Boston the second morning. Pullman Cars will be run through
without change between Chicago and New York, and Chicago and Boston;
also Dining Cars will be run on this train, thus affording passengers
the pleasure of "Dining on the Rail," at the customary charge of 75
cents.

In addition to the above the Atlantic Express will leave Chicago at
8.30 P.M., having through Pullman Cars to Detroit, Saginaw Valley, New
York and Montreal without change.

Passengers going east on an excursion or business trip can find no
better, quicker or more picturesque route than this for pleasure,
taking in as it does the famous Niagara Falls, River St. Lawrence,
Lachine Rapids, Thousand Islands, Victoria Bridge, and the Mountain
Scenery and Pleasure Resorts of the New England States,--the GRAND
TRUNK, running as it does at the base of Mount Washington.

Ask your nearest Ticket Agents for Advertising matter of this route,

                     "The Niagara Falls Air Line."

                            GEO. B. REEVE,
                          _Traffic Manager_.

                            S. R. CALLAWAY,
                          _General Manager_.

                           JAS. STEPHENSON,
               _Gen'l Pass. Agent Grand Trunk Railway_.

       *       *       *       *       *


                            3 GREAT CITIES
                             OF THE WEST:

                            [Illustration]

                            LINKED TOGETHER
                            ----BY THE----
                         CHICAGO & ALTON R.R.

                    NO CHANGE OF CARS OF ANY CLASS
                            ----BETWEEN----

                                CHICAGO
                              ----AND----
                             KANSAS CITY.

                                CHICAGO
                              ----AND----
                              ST. LOUIS.

                               ST. LOUIS
                              ----AND----
                             KANSAS CITY.

  Union Depots in Chicago, East St. Louis, St. Louis and Kansas City.

                             NO OTHER LINE
                               --RUNS--
                          PALACE DINING CARS

      Between CHICAGO and KANSAS CITY, CHICAGO and ST. LOUIS, and
     ST. LOUIS and KANSAS CITY. Meals equal to those served in any
                   first-class hotel, only 75 cents.

       The only Line running a sufficient number of Elegant and
     Comfortable PALACE RECLINING CHAIR CARS Free of Extra Charge,
     in all its Through Trains, Day and Night, Without Change, to
                     accommodate all its patrons.

                     PULLMAN PALACE SLEEPING CARS
                      The Finest, Best and Safest
                           in use anywhere.

     The BEST and QUICKEST ROUTE from CHICAGO to and from MEMPHIS,
        MOBILE, NEW ORLEANS and All Points South via St. Louis.

                      THE SHORT LINE TO AND FROM
   MISSOURI, ARKANSAS, TEXAS, KANSAS, COLORADO, NEW MEXICO, MEXICO,
   ARIZONA, NEBRASKA, CALIFORNIA, OREGON, WASHINGTON TERRITORY, Etc.

         THE GREAT EXCURSION ROUTE BETWEEN THE NORTH AND SOUTH
                          --AND TO AND FROM--
   KANSAS LANDS, AND COLORADO, NEW MEXICO AND CALIFORNIA HEALTH AND
     PLEASURE RESORTS AND THE MINING DISTRICTS OF THE GREAT WEST.

   For Tickets and Information Apply at Any Coupon Ticket Office in
                 the United States and Canada, Or to
        =James Charlton=, General Passenger and Ticket Agent,
        210 Dearborn Street, Near Corner Adams Street, Chicago.
              _J. C. Mcmullin_, Vice-president, Chicago.
              _C. H. Chappell_, General Manager, Chicago.

       *       *       *       *       *

[Illustration:


HOHOKUS, ERIE RAILWAY.]

The scenery along the entire line of the NEW YORK, LAKE ERIE AND
WESTERN R.R. (formerly Erie Railway) has a world-wide reputation for
beauty. The line itself possesses unequaled facilities for transit of
through passengers over its steel rail double track, in Pullman Hotel,
Sleeping and Drawing-room Coaches, equipped with Miller Platform Buffer
and Westinghouse Automatic Air Brake. It is a booming route for New
York and other eastern cities. Try it.

                            JNO. N. ABBOTT,
                 _General Passenger Agent, New York_.

                            W. H. HURLBURT,
               _Gen'l Western Passenger Agent, Chicago_.

       *       *       *       *       *


[Illustration:

    NO CHANGE OF CARS OF ANY CLASS      { CHICAGO AND KANSAS CITY.
     AND                                { CHICAGO AND ST. LOUIS.
   Two Trains a Day Each Way between    { ST. LOUIS AND KANSAS CITY.]

                         CHICAGO & ALTON R.R.

                              THE PIONEER
                   PALACE RECLINING CHAIR CAR ROUTE

                 THE PIONEER PALACE DINING CAR ROUTE.

                The Pioneer Pullman Sleeping Car Route.

                 TWO TRAINS DAILY, SUNDAYS INCLUDED,
      Between CHICAGO and KANSAS CITY, and between ST. LOUIS and
                             KANSAS CITY.

                NIGHT EXPRESS DAILY, SUNDAYS INCLUDED.
 ☞DAY EXPRESS DAILY, Sundays excepted, between CHICAGO and ST. LOUIS.

       *       *       *       *       *


                       THE REMINGTON "STANDARD".
                 (E. REMINGTON & SONS, MANUFACTURERS)
                              ILION, N.Y.

                             TYPE WRITER.

                             Highest Award
                          AMERICAN INSTITUTE.

                            [Illustration]

                             Highest Award
                          ATLANTA EXPOSITION.

                             20,000 IN USE
        By the leading Railroad Companies, Business Houses and
                           Professional Men.

                     GOLD MEDAL PARIS EXPOSITION.

                       PERFECT WRITING MACHINE.

             The Most Popular of Labor-Saving Instruments.

 Writes three times as fast as best penman.      Can be used at sight.

     Every Machine Warranted. If Not Satisfactory, Money Refunded.

      Simple and durable in construction, is quickly understood,
      and becomes an unfailing assistant. Its work is legible and
    beautiful, and is produced with great rapidity, and without the
   fatigue consequent upon the use of the pen. Send for Illustrated
           Descriptive Pamphlet containing full information.

               WYCKOFF, SEAMANS & BENEDICT, Sole Agents.
                     PRINCIPAL OFFICE IN THE WEST:
        H. H. UNZ, Western Manager, 38 E. Madison St., Chicago.





    Transcriber's Notes:


    Silently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical
    errors.

    Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.

    Enclosed italics markup in _underscores_.

    Enclosed bold markup in =equals=.





End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Parody on Patience, by 
D. Dalziel and H. W. McVicar

*** 