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   New Novels

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  THE QUESTION

  By Parry Truscott

  Author of "Catherine"


  THE WICKED WORLD

  By Alice Maud Meadows

  Author of "The Dukedom of Portsea"


  JOHN MARVEL

  By Thomas Nelson Page

  Author of "Red Rock"


  By MARY GAUNT

  The Uncounted Cost

  Part Author of "The Silent Ones"


  By HALLIWELL SUTCLIFFE

  A Winter's Comedy

  A Tale of Yorkshire


  By VICTORIA CROSS

  The Eternal Fires

  Contains portrait of Author in Colours


  By SHAN F. BULLOCK

  Master John

  Author of "Robert Thorne"


  By STANLEY PORTAL HYATT

  Black Sheep

  Author of "The Marriage of Hilary Carden"




    _BIOGRAPHY_

       _FOR_

    _BEGINNERS_

  [Illustration]




  Fine Editions of this Book

  are also issued

  at 2/6 net and 6/- net




           BIOGRAPHY

             FOR

           BEGINNERS

 BEING A COLLECTION OF MISCELLANEOUS
 EXAMPLES FOR THE USE OF UPPER FORMS


 Edited by E. CLERIHEW, B.A.
 With 40 Diagrams by G. K. CHESTERTON




 LONDON
 T. WERNER LAURIE
 CLIFFORD'S INN




LIST OF CONTENTS


Introductory Remarks

Sir Christopher Wren

Miguel de Cervantes

George Bernard Shaw

Sir Humphrey Davy

J. S. Mill

Francois Liszt

Lord Clive

King Edward the Confessor

The Rev. John Clifford, M.A., LL.B., D.D.

Messrs Chapman & Hall

Karl Marx

Otto the Great

Marconi

David Hume

Mr H. Belloc

Job

Pizarro

The Duke of Fife, K.T., P.C., G.C.V.O.

The Duke of Wellington

John Bunyan

George Hirst

Erasmus and the Humanists

Besant and Rice

Tiziano Vecelli

Professor James Dewar, F.R.S.

Sir Walter Raleigh

Jane Austen

Odo of Bayeux

David Ricardo

Sir Thomas a Mallory

Mr Alfred Beit

Cimabue

President Roosevelt

Robert Harley, Earl of Oxford

Sir Alexander Fuller Acland-Hood, M.P.

Mahomet

Edvard Grieg

Jan Van Eyck

Mr T. Werner Laurie

Index of Psychology




INTRODUCTORY REMARKS


    The Art of Biography
    Is different from Geography.
    Geography is about Maps,
    But Biography is about Chaps.

[Illustration]




SIR CHRISTOPHER WREN


    Sir Christopher Wren
    Said, "I am going to dine with some men.
    "If anybody calls
    "Say I am designing St. Paul's."

[Illustration]




MIGUEL DE CERVANTES


    The people of Spain think Cervantes
    Equal to half-a-dozen Dantes:
    An opinion resented most bitterly
    By the people of Italy.

[Illustration]




GEORGE BERNARD SHAW


    Mr Bernard Shaw
    Was just setting out for the war,
    When he heard it was a dangerous trade
    And demonstrably underpaid.

[Illustration]




SIR HUMPHREY DAVY


    Sir Humphrey Davy
    Abominated gravy.
    He lived in the odium
    Of having discovered Sodium.

[Illustration]




J. S. MILL


    John Stuart Mill,
    By a mighty effort of will,
    Overcame his natural bonhomie
    And wrote "Principles of Political Economy."

[Illustration]




FRANCOIS LISZT


    The Abbe Liszt
    Hit the piano with his fist.
    That was the way
    He used to play.

[Illustration]




LORD CLIVE


    What I like about Clive
    Is that he is no longer alive.
    There is a great deal to be said
    For being dead.

[Illustration]




KING EDWARD THE CONFESSOR


    Edward the Confessor
    Slept under the dresser.
    When that began to pall,
    He slept in the hall.

[Illustration]




 THE REV. JOHN CLIFFORD
 M.A., LL.B., D.D.


    Dr Clifford
    And I have differed.
    He disapproves of gin:
    I disapprove of sin.

[Illustration]




MESSRS CHAPMAN & HALL


    Chapman & Hall
    Swore not at all.
    Mr Chapman's yea was yea,
    And Mr Hall's nay was nay.

[Illustration]




KARL MARX


    Karl Marx
    Was completely wrapped up in his sharks.
    The poor creatures seriously missed him
    While he was attacking the capitalist system.

[Illustration]




OTTO THE GREAT


    The great Emperor Otto
    Could not decide upon a motto.
    His mind wavered between
    "L'Etat C'est Moi" and "Ich Dien."

[Illustration]




MARCONI


    Guglielmo Marconi
    Was brought up on macaroni,
    But when he gets it now
    There's no end of a row.

[Illustration]




DAVID HUME


    That you have all heard of Hume
    I tacitly assume;
    But you didn't know, perhaps,
    That his parents were Lapps.

[Illustration]




MR H. BELLOC


    Mr Hilaire Belloc
    Is a case for legislation ad hoc.
    He seems to think nobody minds
    His books being all of different kinds.

[Illustration]




JOB


    It is understood that Job
    Never read "The Globe;"
    But nothing could be higher than
    His opinion of Leviathan.

[Illustration]




PIZARRO


    The views of Pizarro
    Were perhaps a little narrow.
    He killed the Caciques
    Because (he said) they were sneaks.

[Illustration]




 THE DUKE OF FIFE
 K.T., P.C., G.C.V.O.


    It looked bad when the Duke of Fife
    Left off using a knife;
    But people began to talk
    When he left off using a fork.

[Illustration]




THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON


    The great Duke of Wellington
    Reduced himself to a skellington.
    He reached seven stone two,
    And then----Waterloo!

[Illustration]




JOHN BUNYAN


    I do not extenuate Bunyan's
    Intemperate use of onions,
    But if I knew a wicked ogress
    I would lend her "The Pilgrim's Progress."

[Illustration]




GEORGE HIRST


    When I faced the bowling of Hirst
    I ejaculated, "Do your worst!"
    He said, "Right you are, Sid."
    ----And he did.

[Illustration]




ERASMUS AND THE HUMANISTS


    After dinner, Erasmus
    Told Colet not to be "blas'mous"
    Which Colet, with some heat,
    Requested him to repeat.

[Illustration]




BESANT AND RICE


    Sir (then Mr) Walter Besant
    Would never touch pheasant,
    But Mr James Rice
    Thought it so nice.

[Illustration]




TIZIANO VECELLI


    When the great Titian
    Was in a critical condition,
    He was carefully nursed
    By Francis the First.

[Illustration]




PROFESSOR JAMES DEWAR, F.R.S.


    Professor Dewar
    Is a better man than you are.
    None of you asses
    Can condense gases.

[Illustration]




SIR WALTER RALEIGH


    Sir Walter Raleigh
    Bickered down the valley.
    But he could do better than the rill,
    For he could bicker up-hill.

[Illustration]




JANE AUSTEN


    The novels of Jane Austen
    Are the ones to get lost in.

           *       *       *       *       *

    I wonder if Labby
    Has read "Northanger Abbey?"

[Illustration]




ODO OF BAYEUX


    Archbishop Odo
    Was just in the middle of "Dodo,"
    When he remembered that it was Sunday.
    "Sic transit gloria mundi."

[Illustration]




DAVID RICARDO


    The intrepid Ricardo
    With characteristic bravado,
    Alluded openly to Rent
    Wherever he went.

[Illustration]




SIR THOMAS A MALLORY

    Sir Thomas a Mallory
    Always went to the gallery.
    He said, not without nous,
    That it was the best place in the house.

[Illustration]




MR ALFRED BEIT


    Mr Alfred Beit
    Screamed suddenly in the night.
    When they asked him why
    He made no reply.

[Illustration]




CIMABUE


    When they told Cimabue
    He didn't know how to cooee,
    He replied, "Perhaps I mayn't,
    But I do know how to paint."

[Illustration]




PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT


    If only Mr Roosevelt
    Knew how officers in the Blues felt,
    He wouldn't be so rife
    With his Strenuous Life.

[Illustration]




ROBERT HARLEY, EARL OF OXFORD


    People wondered why Harley
    Sang "Wae's me for Prince Charlie."
    "It is childish," they said, "to mourn
    For a person not yet born."

[Illustration]




SIR ALEXANDER FULLER ACLAND-HOOD, M.P.


    Sir Alexander Acland-Hood
    Believed in Free Food:
    But he was Eleusinian
    About this opinion.

[Illustration]




MAHOMET


    I am not Mahomet.
    ----Far from it.
    That is the mistake
    All of you seem to make.

[Illustration]




EDVARD GRIEG


    The musician Grieg
    Joined the Primrose League.
    It gave him the idea of his chorus,
    "The Unburied Ichthyosaurus."

[Illustration]




JAN VAN EYCK


    The younger Van Eyck
    Was christened Jan, and not Mike.
    The thought of this curious mistake
    Often kept him awake.

[Illustration]




MR T. WERNER LAURIE


    Mr Werner Laurie
    Is not at all sorry
    He undertook the publication
    Of this instructive compilation.

[Illustration]




INDEX OF PSYCHOLOGY.

(_In all work of a biographic character it is important to make
copious reference to as many as possible of the generally-recognised
virtues, vices, good points, foibles, peculiarities, tricks,
characteristics, little weaknesses, traits, imperfections, fads,
idiosyncrasies, singularities, morbid symptoms, oddities, faults, and
regrettable propensities set forth in the following table. The form
of an alphabetic index, with references to the examples given in the
preceding pages, has been chosen, so that the beginner who may be
desirous, when trying his hand at work of this sort, of seeing how any
given one of these subjects may best be treated, is enabled at once to
turn to one or more model passages._)


  Abominable deceit (WREN).

  Agitation, reluctance to explain (BEIT).

  Allah, Prophet of, refusal to admit identity with (MAHOMET).

  Appearances, disregard of, by man of position (MALLORY).

  Artistic temperament, the:
    its acute sensitiveness (VAN EYCK);
    love of violent action (LISZT);
    deliberate eccentricity (FIFE);
    naif self-appreciation (CIMABUE);
    irresistibly attracted by the sublime (GRIEG);
    high value set upon it by Frenchmen (TIZIANO).


  Bankruptcy, moral (WREN).

  Blindness to obvious tendency of public opinion (BELLOC).


  Cobdenism, qualified adherence to, hesitation to avow (ACLAND-HOOD).

  Conduct, disingenuous (WREN).

  Contentions and disagreements, love of (ERASMUS, BESANT AND RICE,
    CLIFFORD, RALEIGH).


  Diet, morbid delicacy in matter of (DAVY, BESANT, MARCONI,
    but _cf._ BUNYAN).

  Domestic servants, encouragement of dishonesty among (WREN).


  Efficiency (DEWAR, CIMABUE, HIRST, LISZT).

  Escutcheon, blot on, action involving (WREN).

  Excisable commodity, unsympathetic attitude towards
  (CLIFFORD).


  Fact, cynical perversion of (WREN).

  Frigidity of style, sometimes attributable to prae-natal influences
  (HUME).

  Funereal thoughts, predisposition to (HARLEY).


  Generalisations, sweeping, dangerous fondness for (PIZARRO).

  Guile (WREN).


  Habits, repugnant personal, often found in association with fine
  spiritual gifts (BUNYAN).

  Horizon, restricted mental (PIZARRO).

  Hour of trial, fortitude in (ACLAND-HOOD).

  Hubbub, interminable, power to raise (MARCONI).

  Hypocrisy, calculated (WREN).


  Ignoring, pointed, of literary rivals (JOB).

  Information, insufficient, proneness to act upon (SHAW,
  ROOSEVELT).

  Insomnia, liability to (VAN EYCK, BEIT).

  Integrity, low standard of (WREN).


  Jesuitical dealing (WREN).

  Justification, flimsy, of homicide (PIZARRO).


  Kindness to animals (JOB, MARX).

  Knavery (WREN).


  Labouchere, Mr, power to awaken interest in (AUSTEN).

  Levity, irresponsible, of Yorkshiremen (HIRST).

  Lie, bouncing, circulation of (WREN).

  Low company, penchant for (MALLORY).


  MACCHIAVELLI, unholy precepts of, tendency to act upon
  (WREN).

  Memory, lapse of (ODO).

  Mind, contented, blessing of a (MALLORY).


  Nervous prostration, freedom from (LAURIE).

  "_Noblesse Oblige_," disregard of apothegm (WREN).


  Obesity, effective treatment of (WELLINGTON).

  Openness, want of (WREN).

  Ordinary man, treatment of genius at hands of (DAVY, HARLEY).

  Oriental metaphor, distaste for (CHAPMAN AND HALL).

  Ostentation, contempt for (MALLORY).

  Output, delusions in regard to reception of literary (BELLOC).


  Percussion, instrument of, habit of treating pianoforte as (LISZT).

  Principle, absence of (WREN).

  ---- self-sacrificing devotion to (CHAPMAN & HALL).

  Prompt and decisive action, unfitness for position requiring
  (OTTO).

  Psychology, complex and baffling, of contemporary genius
  (MARCONI).


  Quickening, need of spiritual (WREN).


  Repartee, witty and pungent, gift of (HIRST, CIMABUE).

  Resemblance, confusing physical, sometimes noted among
  higher types of genius (MAHOMET).

  Restoration, lax morality of, readiness to fall in with (WREN).


  Salvation Army, sympathy with methods of (LISZT).

  Satanism, revolting display of (WREN).

  Self-effacement, public-spirited (CLIVE).

  Sense of proportion, lack of (PIZARRO).

  Simple Life, fondness for the (EDWARD THE CONFESSOR,
  MALLORY).

  Statesmanship, qualities of:
    anticipation of coming problems (HARLEY);
    readiness to sink own prejudices in interest of common weal
      (ACLAND-HOOD);
    freedom from insomnia (EDWARD THE CONFESSOR).


  Taboos, faithful observance of (ODO).

  Taciturnity of the strong, silent man (BEIT).

  Tartufe, willingness to regard, as moral examplar (WREN).

  Treasury, Parliamentary Secretary to the, anxiety to remain
  (ACLAND-HOOD).


  Ugly, indifference to appearing (WELLINGTON).

  Umbrage, quickness to take (ERASMUS).

  Untruth, plausible, ability to frame (WREN).

  Utilitarianism, susceptibility to charms of (MILL).

  Utopian conditions, ill-judged efforts to realise (PIZARRO).


  Valhalla, precipitate eagerness to qualify for (SHAW).

  Vaticanism, display of blighting effects of, upon human mind
  (LISZT, PIZARRO).

  Veracity, departure from (WREN).


  Watchword, insistence upon ill-chosen (ROOSEVELT).

  World, the next, neglect of prospects in (WREN).


  Years, early, forgetfulness of habits inculcated in (MARCONI).

  Y.M.C.A., unfitness for (WREN).


  Zealous pursuit of pleasure at expense of soul (WREN).

  Zenith of literary achievement, attainment of (AUSTEN).

  Zulus, gradual adoption of social practices of (FIFE).




 Printed by A. M. Cowan & Co., Ltd.

 St John's Hall, Perth, N.B.




 Transcriber's Notes


 Obvious punctuation errors repaired.

 Page 1 Author of The "Dukedom of Portsea" has been replaced with
        Author of "The Dukedom of Portsea"

 In the "List of Contents", "Jane Austin" has been replaced with
 "Jane Austen".





End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Biography for Beginners, by Various

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