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THE RUBAIYAT OF A HUFFY HUSBAND

MARY B. LITTLE

[Illustration: ARTI et VERITATI]

          BOSTON
          RICHARD G. BADGER
          =The Gorham Press=
          1908

          _Copyright, 1908, by Mary B. Little_

          _All Rights Reserved_

          _The Gorham Press, Boston, U. S. A._




THE RUBAIYAT OF A HUFFY HUSBAND


                           I

          I wake, the Sun does scatter into Flight
          The Dreams of Happiness I have each Night,
            O blessed Dreams--full of Domestic Bliss,
          Too soon alas! They're banished with the Light.


                           II

          I'm going to tell in just the Briefest way
          The cause of all my Anguish--if I may--
            Then one and all will know the Reason why
          My Mien is Solemn, and I am not Gay.


                           III

          On Christmas day a good Friend did present
          My Wife a Book; no doubt with best intent.
            The "Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam" 'twas.
          Little I dreamed the Woe of its Advent.


                           IV

          After the rush of Holidays was o'er,
          And things had settled back in Place once more,
            Wife found the Time to revel in that Book,
          And told me how she loved its Ancient Lore.


                           V

          She soon possessed the dreadful Omar Fad,
          Which other Husbands, I have learned, think Bad.
            But unlike other Fads which now are Past,
          This has the power to make me very Mad.


                           VI

          The others which she tired of years before,--
          Collecting Vases, Fans, and Spoons galore,--
            Did not affect the Comfort of our Home,
          Therefore there was no reason to be Sore.


                           VII

          But now each time I come back to the House
          I find what was my former loving Spouse
            So deep absorbed in Omar's Rubaiyat,
          She reads right on, and scarcely does Arouse.


                           VIII

          Or else I find her with her Pen in Hand,
          Grinding out Quatrains which mayhap are Grand,
            She tries to make me Listen: Rest assured
          That I obey Not any such Command.


                           IX

          Had I but known just what my Fate would be,
          Inside a Drawer to which I hold the Key,
            That Book forever would have Disappeared
          And thereby would have gained some Peace for Me.


                           X

          But ah, the Irony of Fate--that's how
          "A Book of verses underneath the Bough"
            Is what I hear from Morn to Dewy Eve.
          A Wilderness _were_ Paradise just Now.


                           XI

          Sometimes when I am very tired, and Plead
          To be amused, My Wife says, "I will read."
            And this is what she tries to make me Hear,
          "With Earth's first Clay they did the Last man knead."


                           XII

          But don't imagine while Possessed of Wit,
          That I assent, and therefore Calmly sit.
            I take my hat, and hasten from the House,
          And come not back till think she's through with It.


                           XIII

          I might have Prayed, and possibly thereby
          Have gained relief from Somewhere in the Sky.
            But Wife says, Omar's reckoning proves it
          "As Impotently moves as You or I."


                           XIV

          At least that is the Doctrine he presents,
          Although to Me it is Devoid of Sense.
            My unbelief in what he says does Make
          My Wife's Love for him only more Intense.


                           XV

          And thus it is--the Rubaiyat's her Creed.
          It is her Comfort in all sorts of Need.
            I tear my hair--I storm--I swear, and yet,
          'Tis only to dear Omar she pays Heed.


                           XVI

          "Some for the Glories of this world; and some
          Sigh for the Prophet's Paradise to Come;"
            The greatest Boon I ask for is, I may
          Supplant this Interloper as a Chum.


                           XVII

          Now all the Years that we have Wedded been,
          Not once had Demon Jealousy crept in
            Until this Omar--dead eight Hundred Years,
          Did come and her Affection from me Win.


                           XVIII

          I feel chagrined to Think, at this late Date,
          A Man so long since Dead can alienate
            The fond Devotion that's been mine alone.
          No Wonder I cry out 'gainst such a Fate.


                           XIX

          "The Worldly Hope men set their Hearts upon
          Turns Ashes--or it prospers; and anon,"
            Just so those happy Days of long ago
          Were Mine, for one sweet space of Time then gone.


                           XX

          The last few Months I eagerly frequent
          My Clubs; wherein I hear great Argument
            Regarding Wives, and how to manage them.
          But come no Wiser than when in I went.


                           XXI

          Strange, is it not? Of all the Husbands who
          Before me passed this Door of Trouble through
            Not One has left a word of good Advice,
          Nor e'en suggested what is Best to do.


                           XXII

          My Friends can't help me, yet they laugh to Scorn
          My downcast looks, and at the way I Mourn.
            They do not know the Anguish of my Soul,
          Bereft of Wife--unhappy--and forlorn.


                           XXIII

          But this I know, whether the one True Light
          Kindle to Love, or wrath consume me quite,
            I'd rather have my former Happiness,
          Than to Possess the Whole great World outright.


                           XXIV

          I oft' attempt to show Wife where 'twill Lead.
          She gets her Book, and says I must take Heed
            That--"The first Morning of Creation wrote
          What the last Dawn of reckoning shall Read."


                           XXV

          One day I queried would she please to Say
          How long, how long this Fad was apt to Stay?
            She smiled and said, "My dear, don't fret about
          'Unborn To-Morrow and Dead Yesterday.'"


                           XXVI

          "'The Moving Finger writes, and having Writ
          Moves on.'" "And surely, dear, you have the Grit
            To be submissive to the Hand of Fate,
          When you can't help yourself a single Bit."


                           XXVII

          PREDESTINATION--full of Unbelief--
          Must I accept it, is there no Relief?
            The very thought of it most drives me Mad,
          And bows me to the very Earth with Grief.


                           XXVIII

          Ah, if I only could some way Conspire
          "To grasp the sorry Scheme of Things entire";
            How soon I'd shatter it to bits--and then
          Remould it nearer to my Heart's desire.


                           XXIX

          Or, would some Winged Angel ere too Late
          "Arrest the yet unfolded Roll of Fate"
            And make the stern Recorder change the lines,
          And thus restore at ONCE to me My Mate.






End of Project Gutenberg's The Rubaiyat of a Huffy Husband, by Mary B. Little

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