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  P. One dialogue, or Colloquye of Erasmus (entituled
         Diuersoria) Translated oute of Latten
           into Englyshe: And Imprinted, to
            the ende that the Judgem[~e]t
             of the Learned maye be hadde
              before the Translator pro-
                 cede in the reste.
                         E. H.

                    [Illustration]

     P. Imprinted at London in Fleetstreete, at the
         signe of the Faucon by William Griffyth,
           and are to be solde at his shop
               in S. Dunstons Churchyard
                      in the west.
                          1566

       *       *       *       *       *

P. The Translator to the indifferent reader.

If I were throughlye perswaded (g[~e]tle reader) y^t mine attempt of the
learned were in all points allowed and the order in my translation
correspondent thereunto, I woulde at this present proceede in mine
enterprise, with entent by gods helpe to finishe the translation of the
whole boke: But because I am vnlearned & therfore must not be mine owne
iudge therein, I geue the here a tast of my store for proofe of mine
abilitie: desiring the at the least wise not to be offended at the same so
boldly attemted and simplye perfourmed. For sithe mine entent is good, & my
good wil not small I dare at this present yelde it to thy curtesye. Fare
wel.

P. Thine in will (though not in power) E.H.

       *       *       *       *       *

_Diuersoria._

P. The speakers.

_Bertulphe._ _William._

Why haue men taken suche pleasure and felicity (I pray you) in tariynge ii.
or iii. dayes at Lions together, when they trauaile through the contrey? if
I fall to trauailinge once, be fore suche time as I be come vnto my
iourneyes ende, me thinks I am neuer at quiet in my mind.

William.

P. Say ye so indeede? And I put you out of doubt, I wonder howe men can bee
withdrawen thence againe after they be once come thether.

Bertulphe.

P. Yea doe? And how so I pray you?

William.

P. Mary sir because that is the verye place from whence Ulisses companions
coulde in no wise be gotten by perswasion. There are the sweet Mermaides
(that are spoken of) I warrant ye. Assuredlie, no man is better vsed at
home at his own house then a guest is entertained there in a common Inne.

Bertulphe.

P. Why? What is their order and vsage there?

William.

P. Some woman or other did alwayes attende vpon the table to cheere the
company with pleasaunt talke and prety conceites. And I tell you the women
are meruailous bewtiful and wel fauoured there. Firste of all the good wife
of the house came & welcomed vs, praying vs all there to bee merye, and to
take well in woorthe suche poore cheere as shee hadde prouided: when shee
was gone, in commeth her Daughter (beeinge a verye proper woman) and tooke
her roome: also whose behauioure and tongue were so pleasaunt and
delectable, that she was able to make euen the grimme Sire Cato to bee
merye and laugh, and besyde that they doe not talke wyth theyr guestes as
with men whome they neuer sawe before, but euen so famylyarlye and
freendlye, as if they were menne that were of their olde acquaintaunce.

Bertulphe.

P. Yea, thys is the ciuilytye of Fraunce in deede.

William.

P. And because the Mother and the Daughter coulde not bee alwayes in the
waye (for that they muste goe aboute theyr houssholde businesse, and
welcome their other guestes in other places) a pretye little minion Girle
stode forthe there by and by (hauinge learned her liripuppe and lesson
alreadye in all pointes I warraunte you) to make all the pastime that
mighte be possible, and to aunswere (at omnia quare) all such as shoulde be
busye to talke and dally with her, So shee didde prolonge or vpholde the
Enterlude, till the goodwifes Daughter came vnto vs againe. For as for the
mother she was somewhat striken in yeres.

Bertulphe.

P. Yea but tell vs what good cheere yee had there (I praye you) for a manne
cannot fill his bellye with pleasaunte talke you knowe well inoughe.

William.

P. I promise you faithfullye wee had notable good chere there, in so much
that I wonder how they can entertaine their guestes so good cheape as they
doe. And then when our table was tak[~e] vp, they fedde oure mindes wyth
their merye deuises, leaste wee shoulde thinke the time werysome. Me
thought I was euen at home at mine owne house, and not a trauayler abroade
in a straunge co[~u]try.

Bertulphe.

P. And what was the facion in your bed chambers there?

William.

P. Why? some wenches went in euerye corner giggelinge there, playing the
wantons, and dalying with vs, of their owne motion they would aske whether
we had any foule gere to washe or no. That they washed and brought vs
cleane againe, what should I make a longe proces or circumstance, we sawe
nothinge els there but wenches and wemen sauinge in the stable. And yet
many times they would fetche their vagaries in thether also. When the
guestes be going awaye, they embrace them, and take their leaue sweetlye
with suche kindnes and curtesye, as if they were all brethern, or (at
least) nighe a kinne the one to the other.

Bertulphe.

P. This behauiour doth well beseme Frenchmen peraduenture, how be it the
fashions of Duche lande[1] shall go for my monye when all is done, which
are altogether manlike.

William.

P. Yt was neuer my chaunce to see the Contreye yet: and therfore I pray you
take so muche paine as to tell in what sorte they entertaine a straunger
with them.

Bertulphe.

P. I am not sure whether it be so in euerye place or no, but I will not
sticke to reherse that whiche I haue sene with mine owne eyes. There no man
biddeth him welcome that comes, lest they shuld seme to go about to procure
a guest. And that of all sauces, they accompt a dishonest and beggarly
thing, and vnmete for their demurenes & grauetie. After you haue stoode
cryinge oute at the doore a good while, at the length some one or other
pereth out his hed at the stoue[2] window like as a snaile should pepe out
of his shell: for they liue ther in stoues, til the somer be almoste in the
Tropick of Cancer. Then must you aske of him, whether you may haue a
lodging there or no? yf he do not geue a contrary beck with his hed, you
may perceiue, that you shall haue entertainment. To those whiche aske where
aboutes the stable standes, he pointes vnto it with the wagging of his
hand. There maye you vse youre horse after your own diet, for no seruaunt
of the house shall once lay handes vnto it to help you. But if it bee an
Inne some what occupied or haunted, th[~e] the seruaunt sheweth there which
is the stable, & telleth you also a place where your horse shal stad, full
vnhansomely for that purpose god knoweth for they reserue the better romes
for the after commers, specially for the noble men, yf you finde any fault
with any thinge, by an by they snub you with this: Sir, if mine Inne please
you not, goe seeke an other elsewhere in the name of god in cities, it is
longe ere they wil bring you hay forthe for your horse, and when they do
bring it, it is after a niuer facion[3] I warraunt you, and yet will they
aske asmuch mony of you for it (in a maner) as if it were Otes. After your
horse is once dressed you come with all your cariage into the stoue with
Bootes, Male, or Packe, and with Dirte, Bag and Baggage and all. Euery man
is vsed to this generally.

William.

P. In Fraunce they haue certaine chaumbers for the nonce, where guests may
put of their clothes may wipe or make clean th[~e] selues, may warme them
selues: yea may take their ease to, if they bee so disposed.

Bertulphe.

P. Yea, but here is no suche facions I tel you. In the stoue, you pul of
youre Bootes, you pull on youre Shooes, you chaunge youre Shirt if you bee
so minded, you hange vp youre clothes all weate, with raine harde by the
Chimney, and to make youre selfe drye doe stande by the same your selfe,
you haue also water sette readye for your handes, which moste commonly is
so clenlye, that you muste after seeke other water, to washe of that water
againe.

William.

P. I commende them as menne not corrupted with to much finenesse or
daintinesse.

Bertulphe.

P. Thoughe it be youre chaunce to come thether about iiii. of the clocke at
afternoone, yet shall you not go to supper for all that vntill it be nine
of the clocke at night, and sometime not before tenne.

William.

P. How so?

Bertulphe.

P. They make nothinge ready til they see all their guestes come in, that
they may serue them all vnder one without more adoe.

William.

P. These men seeke the neerest way to woorke, I see wel.

Bertulphe.

P. You say true in deede: They doe so, and therfore often times there come
all into one Stooue, lxxx. or xC. Footemen, Horsemen, Marchauntmen,
Mariners, Carters, Plowemen, Children, Wemen, hole and sicke.

William.

P. Marye this is a communitye of lyfe in deede.

Bertulphe.

P. One kembes his head there. An other doth rubbe of his sweat there. An
other maketh cleane his startops[4] or bootes there. An other belcks out
hys Garlicke there. What needes manye wordes? There is as muche mingle
mangle of parsons there, as was in the old time at the Towre of Babell. And
if they chaunce to see a straunger amonge them, whiche in his apparell
semeth somewhat braue, galaunt and gentlemanlike, they all stand prying
vpon him with their eyes, gasing and gapinge as if some straunge beaste
were brought them out of Aphrick, in so much as after they are once set,
they be eye him stil an end and neuer looke of, as men forgetting th[~e]
selues that they be now at supper.

William.

P. At Rome, at Parise, and at Venice, no ma maketh any such wonderment at
all.

Bertulphe.

P. Nowe it is a sore matter I tell you to call for ought there al this
while: when it is farre night and they looke for no more guestes at that
time, then commeth forthe an olde stager of the house, with a gray beard, a
polled hed, a frowning co[~u]tenaunce, clad in il fauored apparaile.

William.

P. Yea mary suche fellowes as these you speak of, should fill the Cardinals
cups at Rome.

Bertulphe.

P. He casting his eyes about, reckeneth vnto him selfe howe manye therebe
in the stoue at all, the moe he seeth there, the greater he maketh his
fire, though the sonne beside doth greatly annoy with his perching heat.
Among them, this is accoumpted the principallest pointe of good
entertainment, if they all sweat like Bulles, that they doe euen drop
again. But if one not vsed to this choking and smotheringe ayre, should
chaunce to open but a chinke of the window to keepe him self from
stifeling, he should by and by haue this saied vnto him: Shut it I pray
you, if you aunswere that you canne not abide it, ye haue this in your nose
for your labor, why? then go seeke you an other Inne, on gods name.

William.

P. But me thinkes there can be no greater daunger for health, then that so
many should drawe in and out all one vapour: specially when the body is in
a sweat, and in this same place to eat meate together, and to tarye
together a great while in company, for now I wil not speak of belchinges
that sauour of garlick, nor of fistinge, or fisseling[5] nor of stinking
breths, many there be (I tel you) that haue priuy diseases, and euery
desease hath his proper infection. And surely the moste of th[~e] haue the
spanishe scabbe, or as some terme it the frenche pockes: thoughe now adaies
one nation hathe it commonlye asmuche as an other. I suppose (I tel you)
that there is as great ieobardye in companyinge with these as it is with
lepers, and nowe gesse you howe muche difference is betwene this and the
pestilence?

Bertulphe.

P. Tushe man they bee stoute fellowes: they doe scorne theise thinges, and
make as it were no accompt of them.

William.

P. But yet they are stout with hazardinge of many a mannes helth I tell you
plainely.

Bertulphe.

P. Why? What should a man do? They haue thus vsed them selues euermore, and
it is a token of constancy and stabilitie neuer to varye or geue ouer that
whiche they haue once taken in hand.

William.

P. But aboue twentye yeeres agone, there was nothinge more vsed amonge the
Brabanders, then the common Bathes. And now adaies, the same are laied a
side euery where: for this stra[~u]g scabbe (I speake of) hathe taught men
to come no more thether.

Bertulphe.

P. But go toe? Harken to the rest of my tale that is behind. That grim
bearded Ganimede coms to vs afterwardes againe, and layeth as many tables
as he then thinkes will serue for the nomber of his guestes, But Lord, what
baggage are the table clothes? if you saw them I dare say you would think
them h[~e]pen cloths, that are taken from the sailes of ships: they be so
course, for he hath apointed that viii. guests shall sit at one table at
the least. Nowe those that are acquainted with the facion of the country,
doe sit downe euery man, where he listeth him selfe, for there is no
diuersitie or cursye I tell you there, betweene the poore man and the
riche, betweene the Master and his seruaunt. They are all one. One as good
as an other, there is heere (as they say) no difference betwene the
shepherd and his dog.

William.

P. Yea marye: this is the olde facion when all is done, that Tiranny hath
now abolished and put away from am[~o]g vs: I think Christ liued iump[6]
after this maner on the earth when he was here conuersaunt with his
Apostles.

Bertulphe.

P. After they be all set, in commeth the frowning minion againe, and once
more falleth to recken what company he hathe there: by and by retourning he
layeth euery one a trenchar, and a spone of the same siluer: and then after
that, hee setteth downe a drinkinge glasse and within a while bringes in
bread which euery manne (at leysure) chippeth and pareth for him selfe,
whiles the potage is a sethinge. They sit mopinge after thys manner,
otherwhiles a whole houre together, ere they can get any thinge to eate.

William.

P. Why? Doe none of the guestes call earnestlye vpon them to haue in the
Supper all this while?

Bertulphe.

P. No, none of them all that knowes the Facion of the countrye. At the
laste they are serued with Wyne: but youe woulde wonder to see what small
geare it is, Scoolemen or Sophisters shoulde drinke none other by myne
aduise, because it is so thinne and tarte: how bee it if a guest shoulde
chaunce (beside his shotte) to offer Monye to one, and desyre him to gette
some better Wyne thenne that some other where, because he lykes it not:
they firste make as though they hearde him not: but yet they bee eye hym
with suche a bigge an frowning countenaunce as if the Deuyl should loke
ouer LINCOLN (as they doe saye) If you will not linne[7] callinge vppon
them, thenne they make youe this aunswere. So many EARLES and MARQUESES,
haue lodged here in our house, & yet the time is yet to come, that euer
they founde any fault with our wine. And therefore if ye fancy it not, get
ye packing in the name of God, and seeke an other Inne where ye liste. For
they accompt great men and noble men for men onely in their contrye I tell
you, setting their armes abroade in euery corner of their house for a
shewe. Now by this time they are serued with a soupe, to alay and pacify
their pore hongry and crookling stomackes, well nigh loste for meat, hard
at the heeles of that comes forthe the dishes with greate ceremonie, pompe
or solemnitie. For the firste course they haue soppes or slices of bread,
soaked in fleshe brothe, or if it be a fishe day, in the broth of pulce.
Then nexte they haue an other brothe: and after that they are serued wyth
fleshe twise sod[8], or fishe twise het. And yet, after this, they haue
potage once againe, immediatly after, they haue some stiffer meate til
suche time as they world beinge well amended with them, they set roste on
the table, or sodde[8] freshe fishe, whiche a man can not all together
mislike. But when it comes to that once they make spare and whip it away at
a sodaine I warraunt you, they facion out euery thinge in his dew time &
place. And as the players of Enterludes or comedies, are wonte in their
Scenes, to entermedle theyr Chories, so doe these Duche men serue forthe to
their guests, Soppes and Potage entercha[~n]geably or by course. But they
prouide that the latter inde of the feast be best furnished.

William.

P. And this (I tell you) is the poynte of a good Poet.

Bertulphe.

P. Besides this it were a sore offence for one all this while to say: Away
with this dishe, no man doth eat of it, here you must sit out your time
appointed, being so euen and iumpe, that I thinke they measure it oute by
some water clockes. At l[~e]gth that bearded Grimson[9] comes forth againe
or els the Inholder him selfe, litle or nothing differing from his
seruauntes in his apparaile and brauery. He asketh what cheere is with vs:
by & by some stronger wine is brought, and they caste a great loue to him
that drinketh lustely: wheras he payes no more money that drinketh moste
then he, that drinketh least.

William.

P. I put you out of doubt, it is a wonderful nature of the countrey.

Bertulphe.

P. Yea, this doe they in deede: whereas there bee sometime there, that
drink two times somuche in wine, as they paye in all for the shot. But
before I doe make an end of this Supper, it is a wonderful thing to tell
what noise and iangeling of tongues there is, after they begin all to bee
well whitled with wine. What shoulde I neede manye wordes? All things there
haue lost their hearing and are becom deafe. And many times disguised
patches or coxecomes doe come amonge them to make sporte: whiche kinde of
men, althoughe of all other it be most to be abhorred, yet you wil scant
beleue howe muche the Germaines are delighted with them. They keepe sike a
coile with their singinge, theire chatting, their hoopinge and hallowinge,
theire praunsinge, theire bounsinge, that the Stooue seemeth as if it
woulde fall downe vpon their heds, and none can heare what an other saith.
And yet all thys while they, perswade them selues, that they liue as well
as hearte canne thinke, or, as the day is broad and longe to.

William.

P. Wel nowe make an ende of this Supper, I pray: for I am weary of so
tedious a Supper my selfe to.

Bertulphe.

P. So I will. At the laste when the cheese is ones taken vp, whiche scantly
pleaseth their aptite, onlesse it craule ful of magots, that old
Siuicoxe[10] comes forth againe, bringinge with hym a meate Trenchoure in
his hande, vppon the whiche with chalke he hath made certaine rundelles and
halfe rundelles: that same he layeth downe vpon the table, loking very
demurelye & sadlye all the while. They that are acquainted with those
markes or skoares, doe laye downe their monye, after them an other, then
another, vntill suche time as the trenchoure bee couered, then markinge
those whiche layed downe anye thinge, he counteth or maketh reckening
softely vnto him selfe: if he misse nothing of that which the reckening
comes to, hee maketh a becke or dieugard with his hed.

William.

P. What if theer be any ouerplus there?

Bertulphe.

P. Peraduenture he woulde giue it them againe, and some whiles they doeso,
if it strike in their braines.

William.

P. And is there none that speaketh againste this vnegall reckening?

Bertulphe.

P. No, none that hathe any witte in his head, for by and by they woulde
saye thus vnto hym. What kinde of man arte thou? I tell thee thou shalt
paye no more for thy Supper heere, then other men do.

William.

P. Marye this kinde of people is franke and free I see wel.

Bertulphe.

P. But if one (beeinge werye with trauaile) should desire to go to bed as
soone as Supper is done, they will him tarye, till all the other go to bed
to.

William.

P. Me thinkes I se Platoes common welth heere.

Bertulphe.

P. Then euerye mannes Cabin is shewed him, & in deede, nothinge elles but a
bare chaumber for all that is there, is but beddes, and the Deuill a whit
there is else beside there, eyther to occupye or els to steale.

William.

P. There is neatnesse or clenlinesse I warraunt you.

Bertulphe.

P. Yea by roode, euen suche as was at the Supper. The Sheetes peraduenture
were washed halfe a yeere before.

William.

P. And how fayres your horses all this while.

Bertulphe.

P. They are vsed after the same rate that the m[~e] bee.

William.

P. But is this maner of entertainement in eueryplace there?

Bertulphe.

P. In some place it is more curteous, in some place againe, it is more
currishe then I haue made rehersall, howbeit generallye it is euen after
this order.

William.

P. What would you say if I should now tell you how stra[~n]gers are
entreated in that part of Italy which they call L[~o]bardy, and again in
spaine howe they be vsed, and how in Englande and in Wales for Englishe men
in conditions are halfe Frenche, halfe Dutche as men indifferente betweene
both. Of theise two contries, Welche men say that they are the right
Brittaines first inhabiting the land.

Bertulphe.

P. Mary I pray thee hartely tell me, for it was neuer my fortune to
trauaile into them.

William.

P. Nay, I haue no laysure nowe at this time, for the Mariner bad me bee
with him at three of the clock, except I would be left behinde, and he hath
a Packette of mine. Another time wee shall haue laysure enough to tell of
these thinges our bellies full.

[Illustration]

       *       *       *       *       *

Notes by Project Gutenberg Transcriber

    _Explanations of some obsolete words, and in some cases the
    transcriber's justification for over-riding the proofreaders'
    readings._

[1] _et passim_ "Duche lande": i.e. Deutschland = Germany.

[2] _et passim_ "Stove:" _A sitting-room or bedroom heated with a furnace.
Chiefly with reference to Germany, the Low Countries, Scandinavia, or
Russia_. (OED). This is an older sense than the heating apparatus itself.

[3] "after a niuer facion": if this is correctly read, the "niuer" does not
seem to appear in the OED, unless it be a form of "never" used as an
adjective. The Latin is _aegre et parce_ "reluctantly and sparingly".

[4] "startops": Latin _perones_, thick leather boots.

[5] "fistinge, or fisseling". "Fist": _To break wind_ (OED). The Latin is
_flatum ventris_. "Fisseling" may be assumed to have a similar meaning,
perhaps from Latin _fesiculatio_.

[6] "iump" (i.e. "jump"): _exactly, precisely_ (OED). The Latin is _Sic_.

[7] "linne": _To cease, leave off; desist from_ (OED).

[8] "sod(de)": Past participle of _seethe_ to boil.

[9] "Grimson": the Latin is merely _barbatus_ "bearded one". Perhaps
connected with "grimsire": _austere, stern, morose or overbearing person_
(OED).

[10] "Siuicoxe": I cannot place this English word. Again the Latin is
_barbatus_.






End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of One dialogue, or Colloquye of Erasmus
(entituled Diuersoria), by Desiderius Erasmus

*** 