Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why don't ants get sick? They have anty-bodies.
Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? If they had four they'd be chicken sedans.
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
I don't always tell dad jokes, but when I do he laughs.
I really thought my terrarium would have developed its own weather patterns by now. It's just so anticlimactic.
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two tired.
Why do birds fly south for the winter? It's too far to walk!
I woke up laughing today. I must've slept funny.
Why don't bank tellers bike to work? They might lose their balance!
A Chlorine atom and a Sodium atom were walking together. Sodium said, "I think I just lost an electron!" Chlorine asked, "Are you sure?" Sodium responded, "I'm positive!"
A clockmaker stands outside his burning workshop, watching in horror as all of his cherished timepieces went up in flames. All he could do was watch.
What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie
How do you build suspense?
My grandfather poured his blood, sweat and tears into his career. Amazing man. Horrible chef.
V V *My control key seems to be broken
Greek philosopher goes to a tailor to get his pants mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?”
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it
A friend asked me, why don't eggs tells jokes? I was like they will laugh and crack their shells.