enable user provided auto increment value in update mode (#1655)

[ti-srebot]

cherry-pick #1655 to release-2.3

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What problem does this PR solve?

currently user provided auto increment value is not supported in update mode

What is changed and how it works?

enable user provided auto increment value in update mode

Check List

Tests

• Unit test
• Integration test
• Manual test (add detailed scripts or steps below)
• No code

Code changes

• Has exported function/method change
• Has exported variable/fields change
• Has interface methods change
• Has persistent data change

Side effects

• Possible performance regression
• Increased code complexity
• Breaking backward compatibility

Related changes

• Need to cherry-pick to the release branch
• Need to update the documentation
• Need to update the tidb-ansible repository
• Need to be included in the release note