fix: use same external rule as rollup for esbuild (fix #9549)

[zhyupe]

Description

Fix #9549
If a-module is external, do not treat a-module/file as external during optimizeDep.

Additional context

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What is the purpose of this pull request?

• Bug fix
• New Feature
• Documentation update
• Other

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[bluwy]

This would break a fair amount of apps so we probably couldn't do this in Vite 4. Since this is related to esbuild optimization in build which is still experimental, we probably want to find a non-breaking way to support this if possible.