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SoF Proofread Pass and Campaign Prose edits #6177

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merged 13 commits into from Jan 26, 2022
Merged

SoF Proofread Pass and Campaign Prose edits #6177

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c4d1302
SoF Proofread Pass and Campaign Prose edits
max-torch Oct 4, 2021
21bd2f9
SoF Proofread Second Draft
max-torch Oct 8, 2021
759bd74
SoF Proofread Third Draft
max-torch Oct 9, 2021
03de7fd
Update 4t_The_Jeweler.cfg
max-torch Oct 9, 2021
568be55
Update 1_A_Bargain_is_Struck.cfg
max-torch Oct 24, 2021
9ffe497
Update 1_A_Bargain_is_Struck.cfg
max-torch Oct 24, 2021
00cf1c3
More prose edits (SoF)
max-torch Oct 31, 2021
97557ef
Update 4t_The_Jeweler.cfg
max-torch Nov 1, 2021
34b5fd3
SoF Proofread Pass edits
max-torch Nov 5, 2021
e353224
Capitalize Sceptre
max-torch Nov 22, 2021
e2240b4
S5 and S9 small dialog change
max-torch Jan 21, 2022
db940f2
S6 change semicolon to period
max-torch Jan 21, 2022
175600f
S9 change semicolon to exclamation
max-torch Jan 21, 2022
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28 changes: 14 additions & 14 deletions data/campaigns/Sceptre_of_Fire/scenarios/1_A_Bargain_is_Struck.cfg
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Expand Up @@ -187,7 +187,7 @@
# the background images are placeholders from the core assets
[part]
# wmllint: local spelling Ay
story= _ "Ay, the Sceptre of Fire. The sceptre has a long, glorious, and fearful history. But I am not here to tell you how the jewel within it was brought over the ocean by Haldric the Great. Nor will I tell the story of Garard I, and the challenge he set, or that of Konrad, King of Wesnoth by virtue of the Sceptre."
story= _ "Ay, the Sceptre of Fire. The Sceptre has a long, glorious, and fearful history. But I am not here to tell you how the jewel within it was brought over the ocean by Haldric the Great, nor will I tell the story of Garard I and the challenge he set, nor that of Konrad, King of Wesnoth by virtue of the Sceptre."
background=story/landscape-castle.jpg
[/part]
[part]
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -355,7 +355,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Haldric II
message= _ "Exactly. I want you to craft it into a mighty artifact, that will leverage the stone’s power, but contain it also."
message= _ "Exactly. I want you to craft it into a mighty artifact that will not only leverage the stone’s power, but contain it also."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
Expand All @@ -368,7 +368,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "They would refuse to come. You must come into the caves, and go to the city in person, or send a representative."
message= _ "They would refuse to come. You must come into the caves and go to the city in person, or send a representative."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Haldric II
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -412,11 +412,11 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "I’ll see what I can do. But I will need five thousand silver in advance, to pay for the materials."
message= _ "I’ll see what I can do. But I will need five thousand silver in advance to pay for the materials."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Haldric II
message= _ "Very well. I have the silver here, ready to ship, and I will send someone over with the stone itself. He will stay with you as you make the sceptre, and make sure you are going to get it done on time. I expect it done before my reign as king is ended."
message= _ "Very well. I have the silver here, ready to ship, and I will send someone over with the stone itself. He will stay with you as you make the sceptre, and make sure you get it done on time. I expect it done before my reign as king is ended."
[/message]
[unit]
x,y=10,29
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -503,15 +503,15 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Glildur
message= _ "Nevertheless, if you try to move your caravans here you have to pay the toll, or face our wrath!"
message= _ "Nevertheless, if you try to move your caravans here, you have to pay the toll or face our wrath!"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Haldric II
message= _ "We Wesnothians and you elves have a treaty! Do you really mean to break it in defense of a road that is not even yours?!"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Glildur
message= _ "I was never among those who agreed to that treaty. Not all of us elves are as low as Kalenz, or make deals with those who betrayed us."
message= _ "I was never among those who agreed to that treaty. Not all of us elves are as low as Kalenz or make deals with those who betrayed us."
scroll=no
[/message]
[message]
Expand All @@ -520,7 +520,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "Very well. Glildur, if the high elvish council has made an alliance with the men, I would advise you to follow it, but not doing so is your choice."
message= _ "Very well. Glildur, if the high elvish council has made an alliance with these humans, I would advise you to follow it. But not doing so is your choice."
[/message]
# to make it very hard for player to just kill the elves
[unit]
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -687,7 +687,7 @@
[/filter]
[message]
speaker=Alanin
message= _ "Here’s the stone, for you dwarves! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll be taking refuge here... I don’t much like fighting."
message= _ "Here’s the stone for you dwarves! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll be taking refuge here... I don’t much like fighting."
[/message]
[set_variable]
name=havestone
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -831,7 +831,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Haldric II
message= _ "That’s a bluff, what sort of reinforcements can this little band of thieves possibly count on?"
message= _ "That’s a bluff. What sort of reinforcements can this little band of thieves possibly count on?"
[/message]
[/event]
[event]
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -867,7 +867,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "We cannot match you above ground, but in the caves we may still defeat you."
message= _ "We cannot match you above ground, but in the caves, we may still defeat you."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Glildur
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -903,7 +903,7 @@
[message]
speaker=unit
# wmllint: local spelling Landar
message=_ "Die, humans, in the name of Landar!"
message=_ "Die, humans! In the name of Landar!"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=second_unit
Expand All @@ -924,7 +924,7 @@

[message]
speaker=unit
message=_ "Die, dwarvish scum, in the name of Landar!"
message=_ "Die, dwarvish scum! In the name of Landar!"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=second_unit
Expand All @@ -939,7 +939,7 @@
[/filter]
[message]
speaker=unit
message=_ "This gains you nothing, we will not rest!"
message=_ "This gains you nothing! We will not rest!"
[/message]
[store_unit]
[filter]
Expand Down
10 changes: 5 additions & 5 deletions data/campaigns/Sceptre_of_Fire/scenarios/2_Closing_the_Gates.cfg
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Expand Up @@ -103,7 +103,7 @@

[story]
[part]
story= _ "Next in our story, Rugnur retreated into the caves of Knalga. But the elves pressed on, and would enter the caves shortly."
story= _ "Next in our story, Rugnur retreated into the caves of Knalga. But the elves pressed on and would enter the caves shortly."
[/part]
[/story]

Expand Down Expand Up @@ -349,7 +349,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
message= _ "Argh! I’m a retired warrior... it looks like I’ll ha’ to come out and help you, else we’ll be overrun by the damn elves... argh again. Well, listen here. This entrance to the city can be closed. There’s a gate. If we can close it, the elves will no’ be able to enter. And you elves; begone from here!"
message= _ "Argh! I’m a retired warrior... it looks like I’ll ha’ to come out and help you, else we’ll be overrun by the damn elves... argh, again. Well, listen here. This entrance to the city can be closed. There’s a gate. If we can close it, the elves will no’ be able to enter. And you elves; begone from here!"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Glildur
Expand All @@ -369,7 +369,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
message= _ "Och, well, no. Lately trolls have been more in charge of those caves where the glyphs are than we dwarves have."
message= _ "Och, well, no. Lately, trolls have been more in charge of those caves where the glyphs are than we dwarves have."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -603,7 +603,7 @@

[message]
speaker=Glildur
message= _ "Agh! Well, you have defeated me for now, but eventually you will have to exit these caves, to give Haldric back his jewel. And when you do, we will be ready for you."
message= _ "Agh! Well, you have defeated me for now, but eventually you will have to exit these caves to give Haldric back his jewel. And when you do, we will be ready for you."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -642,7 +642,7 @@
[then]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "There are still some elves left in here. We have to eliminate them, too, unless they surrender."
message= _ "There are still some elves left in here. We have to eliminate them too, unless they surrender."
[/message]
[message]
side=2
Expand Down
4 changes: 2 additions & 2 deletions data/campaigns/Sceptre_of_Fire/scenarios/2p5_Reaching_the_Runecrafter.cfg
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Expand Up @@ -64,7 +64,7 @@

[story]
[part]
story= _ "The journey to the far northern wastelands was long and perilous. The tunnels were narrow, but by following the old mining rails, Rugnur and his group could make good time. After a few days journey, they saw a dim red glow in the tunnel ahead, and could feel sporadic vibrations in the rails."
story= _ "The journey to the far northern wastelands was long and perilous. The tunnels were narrow, but by following the old mining rails, Rugnur and his group could make good time. After a few days journey, they saw a dim red glow in the tunnel ahead and could feel sporadic vibrations in the rails."
[/part]
[part]
story= _ "As the group got near the source of the glow, they heard metallic banging and guttural shouting, and their noses were assaulted by a fetid smell..."
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -317,7 +317,7 @@
[/filter]
[message]
speaker=Bragdash
message= _ "Arg, I never should’a come to this stinkin’ cathole!"
message= _ "Argh, I never should’a come to this stinkin’ cathole!"
[/message]
[/event]

Expand Down
8 changes: 4 additions & 4 deletions data/campaigns/Sceptre_of_Fire/scenarios/3_Searching_for_the_Runecrafter.cfg
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Expand Up @@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
story= _ "It was a couple more weeks of marching along the tracks before a chill breeze touched Rugnur’s group, washing over them from a side tunnel leading up to the surface. Had they reached the Northlands?"
[/part]
[part]
story= _ "Much to his chagrin, Alanin was dispatched to scout further up the rails, but he soon came back and claimed the rails ended, the main tunnel was unfinished to the north. For this reason, Rugnur lead the dwarves up the cold passage, and began to search for the runesmith named Thursagan. Thursagan, the Sage of Fire."
story= _ "Much to his chagrin, Alanin was dispatched to scout further up the rails, but he soon came back and claimed the rails ended — the main tunnel was unfinished to the north. For this reason, Rugnur led the dwarves up the cold passage and began to search for the runesmith named Thursagan. Thursagan, the Sage of Fire."
[/part]
[/story]

Expand Down Expand Up @@ -394,7 +394,7 @@
[message]
speaker=Krawg
message= _ "Yes...
<i>(Quickly shifts gaze to nearby woods, adopts a hostile stance, then glances back to the dwarves.)</i>"
<i>(Quickly shifts gaze to nearby woods, adopts a hostile stance, then glances back at the dwarves.)</i>"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -479,7 +479,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
message= _ "He doesn’t want to talk to the gryphons, apparently. I think we’ll have to get someone there he will talk to..."
message= _ "He doesn’t want to talk to gryphons, apparently. I think we’ll have to get someone there he will talk to..."
[/message]
[/then]
[/if]
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -631,7 +631,7 @@
[/filter]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "Well, now we reached the caves again! Come on, back south, to the city."
message= _ "Well, we can finally get back in our caves — away from these trolls and ogres! Come on, let’s head back south, to the city."
[/message]
{MAKE_LOYAL_NORMAL Baglur}
{CLEAR_VARIABLE thur_x,thur_y}
Expand Down
4 changes: 2 additions & 2 deletions data/campaigns/Sceptre_of_Fire/scenarios/3t_The_Council_Regathers.cfg
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Expand Up @@ -129,11 +129,11 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Durstorn
message= _ "What? You mean you found Thursagan and got him to return with you? Astounding! But what is that gryphon doing there?"
message= _ "What? You mean you found Thursagan and got him to return with you? Astounding! But what is that gryphon doing here?"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
message= _ "Yes, we did. And that is Krawg, who helped us in the Northlands."
message= _ "Yes, we did get Thursagan to come along. And that is Krawg, who helped us in the Northlands."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Krawg
Expand Down
8 changes: 4 additions & 4 deletions data/campaigns/Sceptre_of_Fire/scenarios/4_Gathering_Materials.cfg
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Expand Up @@ -686,11 +686,11 @@
[/recall]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "Well, these are the eastern mines. Trolls and ogres live here, be prepared to fight them; also be prepared to spend quite some time here — mining can take a while."
message= _ "Well, these are the eastern mines. Trolls and ogres live here, be prepared to fight them; also, be prepared to spend quite some time here — mining can take a while."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Thursagan
message= _ "For me to make the artifact Haldric wants, I need a special type of gold. I do not know where it was found, but Baglur said these mines were the source of it."
message= _ "For me to make the artifact Haldric wants, I need a special type of gold. I know not exactly where it can be found, but Baglur said these mines were the source of it."
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -783,7 +783,7 @@

[message]
speaker=unit
message= _ "Here is some of the coal that we need! Bring the miners to take it!"
message= _ "Here is some of the coal that we need! Send a miner here to take it!"
[/message]

[allow_undo][/allow_undo]
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -879,7 +879,7 @@

[message]
speaker=unit
message= _ "Here is the mine of precious gold! Send the miners this way."
message= _ "Here is the mine of precious gold! Send a miner here to take it!"
[/message]

[allow_undo][/allow_undo]
Expand Down
8 changes: 4 additions & 4 deletions data/campaigns/Sceptre_of_Fire/scenarios/4t_The_Jeweler.cfg
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Expand Up @@ -141,7 +141,7 @@
#dialogue starts
[message]
speaker=Durstorn
message= _ "So, you have returned. I assume you have obtained the required materials? My jeweler Theganli has spent great time and expense buying jewels from some of the northern clans. So now go to the forge and make your sceptre. What do you need to annoy me for?"
message= _ "So, you have returned. I assume you have obtained the required materials? My jeweler Theganli has spent great time and expense buying jewels from some of the northern clans. Now go to the forge and make your sceptre. What do you need to annoy me for?"
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Thursagan
Expand Down Expand Up @@ -300,7 +300,7 @@
[/message]
[message]
speaker=Theganli
message= _ "Well... Maybe you can ask the Shorbear clan? They have good tools... Chisels and grit of some rare mineral, I don’t know what it is or how they got it, but their work is well known among us gem crafters."
message= _ "Well... Maybe you can ask the Shorbear clan? They have good tools... chisels made of some rare mineral. I don’t know what mineral it is or how they got it, but their work is well known among us gem crafters."
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"Well... Maybe you can ask the Shorbear clan? They have good tools... chisels made of a metal that could only be worked with the heat of a volcanic forge. I don’t know how much of that legend is true, but their work is well known among us gem crafters."

Too late for the current PR, but it seems a good place to discuss possible future PRs. I'm thinking we could replace the unobtainable mineral with foreshadowing.

[/message]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
Expand All @@ -321,13 +321,13 @@
[then]
[message]
speaker=Baglur
message= _ "We can’t just go in there and take their property. We’ll have to buy, or rent, it from them."
message= _ "We can’t just go in there and take their property. We’ll have to buy or rent it from them."
[/message]
[/then]
[else]
[message]
speaker=Rugnur
message= _ "We can’t just go in there and take their property. We’ll have to buy, or rent, it from them."
message= _ "We can’t just go in there and take their property. We’ll have to buy or rent it from them."
[/message]
[/else]
[/if]
Expand Down