For recourse we must be able to do action even without contact in book

[mtbitcr]

[zupzup]

We need a way to get at least the nostr relay for a given node_id from the network, to be able to send the request to the recoursee.

[zupzup]

@mtbitcr Does this already work?

[zupzup]

waiting for #645 to be implemented, then this should work automatically, or be very little effort