fix: make SSH tunnel use Socks5 COMPASS-5156

[addaleax]

This enables connecting to replica sets and setups that use TLS
usings SSH tunnels, and includes a driver update to 4.3.0.

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Note that this cannot land until we also have an updated mongosh, because mongosh
bundles its own Node.js driver version, and the previous one fails because it does
not understand the Socks5 connection options.

Description

Checklist

• New tests and/or benchmarks are included
• Documentation is changed or added

Motivation and Context

• Bugfix
• New feature
• Dependency update
• Misc

Open Questions

Dependents

Types of changes

• Backport Needed
• Patch (non-breaking change which fixes an issue)
• Minor (non-breaking change which adds functionality)
• Major (fix or feature that would cause existing functionality to change)

[Anemy]

lgtm! Nice work adding this into node and now here! Looking at the driver update https://github.com/mongodb/node-mongodb-native/releases/tag/v4.3.0 looks good, don't see there being any issues.

Let's definitely test that past ssh tunnel connections still work as expected (looks like they should be fine but a manual test will make me feel even better lol).

[addaleax]

Alright, with the build from this PR I have manually tested:

• That SSH to a single, non-TLS endpoint works
• That SSH to a single, TLS-enabled endpoint works
• That SSH to a TLS-enabled Atlas replicaset with network access restrictions now also works

I’d say that’s good enough for me to merge this.