refactor(NODE-3788): update names of offensive error codes

[ljhaywar]

Description

NODE-3788

What is changing?

• Error codes with offensive names are being renamed
• Other offensive wording in error.ts is being renamed

The tests that reference these error codes are spec tests. Updates to those tests are covered in NODE-3791.

Is there new documentation needed for these changes?

No

What is the motivation for this change?

Following the guidance documented in https://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-knodel-terminology-00.html, we will remove all oppressive and unnecessarily gendered language in driver documentation, code, tests, specs, and spec tests.

Double check the following

• Ran npm run check:lint script
• Self-review completed using the steps outlined here
• PR title follows the correct format: <type>(NODE-xxxx)<!>: <description>
• Changes are covered by tests
• New TODOs have a related JIRA ticket

[ljhaywar]

Questions:

• I renamed a constant and a function. Neither are exported, so I think that means I can make the changes without any deprecation notices. Is that the case?
• I updated the return message for two functions. From what I can tell, those messages are only being used inside of this file. Are there any other places the messages are being used? Is it OK to change the error message (is anyone relying on that specific error message)?

[baileympearson]

Questions:

• I renamed a constant and a function. Neither are exported, so I think that means I can make the changes without any deprecation notices. Is that the case?
• I updated the return message for two functions. From what I can tell, those messages are only being used inside of this file. Are there any other places the messages are being used? Is it OK to change the error message (is anyone relying on that specific error message)?

• Yup, renaming the constant and the function should be fine. It's a purely internal change and has no functionality change.
• The return messages you updated are actually only returning a boolean. Those functions are testing an error message against the strings up updated to determine if the error message passed in to the function matches those error strings. I think this is the scenario Daria mentioned and is not safe to update, since these error messages are being returned from the server.

[ljhaywar]

We're seeing the same test failures in more than one PR, so I don't think these failures are related to the code changes.

@baileympearson this is ready for your review

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