[ca] fix dce for side-effects

[xmfan]

Stack from ghstack (oldest at bottom):

• [ca][aot] mark activations as maybe dynamic #148516
• [dynamic] use maybe_mark_dynamic instead of mark_dynamic for batch size in benchmarks #149420
• [ca] fix accumulate grad polyfill when different strides between param and grad #149367
• [ca] use torch.compile ca API for benchmarks and fix API to allow specifying dynamic via configs instead of torch.compile kwargs #148694
• [aot] always lower the backward with a deepcopy #149229
• -> [ca] fix dce for side-effects #149336

The AOT backward could have contained side effectful ops, so we can't DCE them. Have CA also call the default fx.Node.is_impure which will cover some of the existing cases

cc @voznesenskym @penguinwu @EikanWang @jgong5 @Guobing-Chen @XiaobingSuper @zhuhaozhe @blzheng @wenzhe-nrv @jiayisunx @ipiszy @chenyang78 @kadeng @muchulee8 @amjames @chauhang @aakhundov

[pytorch-bot]

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✅ You can merge normally! (1 Unrelated Failure)

As of commit c9467cd with merge base 4482a65 ():

UNSTABLE - The following job is marked as unstable, possibly due to flakiness on trunk:

• pull / linux-jammy-py3-clang12-executorch / test (executorch, 1, 1, lf.ephemeral.linux.2xlarge) (gh) (#144480)
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[xmfan]

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