[reland] Provide pre-extracted DataPtrs when completing a Future with a Message

[lw]

Stack from ghstack:

• Fix race condition in TP agent #58753 Fix race condition in TP agent
• Ensure async_execution works with CUDAFuture #56863 Ensure async_execution works with CUDAFuture
• Avoid re-doing CUDA stream sync in OwnerRRef #57355 Avoid re-doing CUDA stream sync in OwnerRRef
• [reland] Make TP agent use streams from Future when sending response #59212 [reland] Make TP agent use streams from Future when sending response
• [reland] Set and propagate devices in RRef completion future #59211 [reland] Set and propagate devices in RRef completion future
• [reland] Set streams when invoking UDFs #59210 [reland] Set streams when invoking UDFs
• [reland] Create CUDA-aware futures in RequestCallback #59209 [reland] Create CUDA-aware futures in RequestCallback
• [reland] Provide pre-extracted DataPtrs when completing a Future with a Message #59208 [reland] Provide pre-extracted DataPtrs when completing a Future with a Message
• [reland] Allow Future::then to return pre-extracted DataPtrs #59207 [reland] Allow Future::then to return pre-extracted DataPtrs
• [reland] Always use intrusive_ptr for Message (2 out of 2) #59206 [reland] Always use intrusive_ptr for Message (2 out of 2)
• [reland] Always use intrusive_ptr for Message (1 out of 2) #59205 [reland] Always use intrusive_ptr for Message (1 out of 2)

Reland of #58425

Now that callbacks can provide pre-extracted DataPtrs, let's do so. This will become of crucial importance in the next PR, where some of these futures will become CUDA-aware, and thus they will try to extract DataPtrs on their own, but they would fail to do so here because Message isn't "inspectable".

Differential Revision: D28623888

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[mrshenli]

reviewed the previous attempt. The change in reland is updating internal related code to use intrusive_ptr as well.

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This pull request has been merged in 3af6ff9.