[vulkan] use VMA at third-party

[SS-JIA]

Stack from ghstack (oldest at bottom):

• -> [vulkan] use VMA at third-party #83934

Remove the VMA checked in at aten/src/ATen/native/vulkan/api/vk_mem_alloc.h, and use the version checked into fbsource/third_party instead.

Also change open source CMakeLists to look for VMA in third_party submodule directory.

Note that I had to add an alternate VulkanMemoryAllocator target that uses fb_xplat_cxx_library instead of oxx_static_library to make it work with vulkan targets in caffe2.

Before landing this diff, make sure #83906 is committed on open source, which adds VMA as a git submodule of pytorch.

Differential Revision: D38943217

NOTE FOR REVIEWERS: This PR has internal Facebook specific changes or comments, please review them on Phabricator!

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❌ 1 New Failures

As of commit e72988a (more details on the Dr. CI page):

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• 1/1 failures introduced in this PR

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🕵️ 1 new failure recognized by patterns

The following CI failures do not appear to be due to upstream breakages

Lint / pr-sanity-checks (1/1)

Step: "PR size check" (full log | diagnosis details)

2022-08-25T13:18:12.7645019Z ##[error]Process completed with exit code 1.

2022-08-25T13:18:12.7545684Z If you think that this rule should not apply to your PR,
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7546230Z please contact @albanD or @seemethere.
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7546591Z 
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7585097Z + echo 'Your PR is 19562 LOC which is more than the 2000 maximum'
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7587081Z + echo 'allowed within PyTorch infra. PLease make sure to split up'
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7587582Z + echo 'your PR into smaller pieces that can be reviewed.'
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7588252Z + echo 'If you think that this rule should not apply to your PR,'
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7588614Z + echo 'please contact @albanD or @seemethere.'
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7588927Z + echo
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7589155Z + false
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7645019Z ##[error]Process completed with exit code 1.
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7692100Z Post job cleanup.
2022-08-25T13:18:12.7724155Z Post job cleanup.
2022-08-25T13:18:12.8789458Z [command]/usr/bin/git version
2022-08-25T13:18:12.8835264Z git version 2.37.2
2022-08-25T13:18:12.8880428Z Temporarily overriding HOME='/home/runner/work/_temp/f69f0d86-502f-4ded-a20c-a2fefa898d0b' before making global git config changes
2022-08-25T13:18:12.8880903Z Adding repository directory to the temporary git global config as a safe directory
2022-08-25T13:18:12.8886355Z [command]/usr/bin/git config --global --add safe.directory /home/runner/work/pytorch/pytorch
2022-08-25T13:18:12.8927097Z [command]/usr/bin/git config --local --name-only --get-regexp core\.sshCommand
2022-08-25T13:18:12.8963243Z [command]/usr/bin/git submodule foreach --recursive git config --local --name-only --get-regexp 'core\.sshCommand' && git config --local --unset-all 'core.sshCommand' || :
2022-08-25T13:18:12.9191226Z [command]/usr/bin/git config --local --name-only --get-regexp http\.https\:\/\/github\.com\/\.extraheader

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@pytorchbot merge -f 'Landed internally'

(Initiating merge automatically since Phabricator Diff has merged, using force because this PR might not pass merge_rules.json but landed internally)

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Hey @SS-JIA.
You've committed this PR, but it does not have both a 'release notes: ...' and 'topics: ...' label. Please add one of each to the PR. The 'release notes: ...' label should represent the part of PyTorch that this PR changes (fx, autograd, distributed, etc) and the 'topics: ...' label should represent the kind of PR it is (not user facing, new feature, bug fix, perf improvement, etc). The list of valid labels can be found here for the 'release notes: ...' and here for the 'topics: ...'.
For changes that are 'topic: not user facing' there is no need for a release notes label.

[facebook-github-bot]

@pytorchbot merge -f 'Landed internally'

(Initiating merge automatically since Phabricator Diff has merged, using force because this PR might not pass merge_rules.json but landed internally)