[Dashboards] ES|QL controls creation improvements

[florent-leborgne]

See elastic/kibana#219495
Also elastic/kibana#210170
Also elastic/kibana#216839
Also related breaking change elastic/kibana#213916

[ghudgins]

please note the breaking change has backwards compatibility support. though, probably not worth mentioning given the early / low adoption of this feature (and it was only out for a single minor)