make triton kernel usage user controlable

[Gasoonjia]

Summary: We observed perf regression on some models after using triton sdpa kernel, compare with decomposed operator. This diff makes triton kernel controalable by user to prevent such perf regression.

Reviewed By: larryliu0820

Differential Revision: D88096054

[pytorch-bot]

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❌ 2 New Failures, 1 Unrelated Failure

As of commit a84c6ea with merge base a93f59e ():

NEW FAILURES - The following jobs have failed:

• Apple / build-frameworks-ios / macos-job (gh)
  Failed to CreateArtifact: Unable to make request: ENOTFOUND
• pull / unittest-editable / macos / macos-job (gh)
  backends/xnnpack/test/ops/test_conv2d.py::TestConv2d::test_fp16_conv2d

BROKEN TRUNK - The following job failed but were present on the merge base:

👉 Rebase onto the `viable/strict` branch to avoid these failures

• Apple / build-demo-ios / macos-job (gh) (trunk failure)
  RuntimeError: Command bash /Users/runner/work/_temp/exec_script failed with exit code 74

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[meta-codesync]

@Gasoonjia has exported this pull request. If you are a Meta employee, you can view the originating Diff in D88096054.

[larryliu0820]

Review automatically exported from Phabricator review in Meta.

[github-actions]

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