Alright, you found it. The digital headquarters for the finest damn research and development company on Earth... maybe in the galaxy. If you're here, you're either a genius we hired, a spy from Black Mesa, or you clicked the wrong link. If you're a spy, get out. For everyone else, welcome to Aperture Science!

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Some companies build widgets. Others make... spreadsheets. We build the FUTURE. Self-driving cars? We're on it. Artificial intelligences? Got a few of those rattling around the facility, doing... science. Anything that's dangerous, untested, and wildly profitable is our bread and butter. We're the people who don't ask "why?", we ask "why NOT?". Why not teach a car to drive? Why not give a computer a personality? Why not see what happens when you strap a rocket to a filing cabinet? That last one's still in testing.

It's simple. We have a motto:

"We do what we must, because we can. For the good of all of us... except the ones who are dead."

That's the Aperture way. We're innovators! Pioneers! We're not like those communists, sitting around waiting for a committee to give them an idea. Here, you MAKE the idea. Preferably with a high chance of a glorious, science-filled explosion. That's how you know you're making progress.

Speaking of people who sit around in committees, let's talk about Black Mesa. I hear they're still playing with their little 'teleportation' toys. How cute. While they're figuring out how to move a stapler from one desk to another without turning it into a screaming blob of teeth, we're solving REAL problems. You tell me who's winning the future.

• Think with Portals. And with code. But mostly code for now.
• If you have to ask "should we do this?", the answer is YES.
• We don't have a budget for safety rails. Just code smarter.
• Absolutely no communists. Caroline's got a checklist. Don't ask.

Now get to it. The future isn't going to invent itself.

Cave Johnson. We're done here!