fix(daemon): route auto-handshake through HandshakeSendRequest wrapper (follow-up to #208)

[TeoSlayer]

Summary

Follow-up to #208. That PR added per-peer in-flight dedup at the daemon's IPC entry point (`HandshakeSendRequest`) and the IPC-side burst symptom is gone — 0 "ephemeral ports exhausted" errors in the local repro post-merge.

But the same repro surfaced a second pathway: the proactive auto-handshake fired from inside `DialConnection` (`daemon.go:3125`) calls `d.handshakes.SendRequest` directly, bypassing the dedup wrapper. That call re-enters `DialConnection` on port 444 for the same peer, which re-checks the same gate, fires another `go SendRequest`, and the chain self-fuels until the dial budget cuts it.

In the local repro one user-triggered handshake to a `trustedagents` peer (crossref-funders, node 41451) produced ~12,279 "direct handshake failed" log entries within ~800 ms before the dial timeout cleared it.

Fix

One-line: route the auto-handshake through `d.HandshakeSendRequest` instead of `d.handshakes.SendRequest`. The dedup map now catches the recursive call — second entry sees the in-flight slot, short-circuits with `ErrHandshakeInFlight`, the goroutine returns, fanout doesn't happen.

The error return is discarded — the goroutine is fire-and-forget, same as before. `ErrHandshakeInFlight` is the dedup success case.

Why this is safe

• No wire / IPC / persistence change.
• No peer-visible behavior change — the proactive handshake still fires; it just fires once instead of recursively.
• Same compat surface as fix(daemon): per-peer in-flight dedup for handshake IPC to prevent dial-pool saturation #208.

Test plan

• `go test -race -count=1 -run 'TestHandshakeInFlight|TestHandshakeSendRequestNoServiceErr' ./pkg/daemon/` — existing dedup regression tests still pass
• `go build ./...` clean
• Post-merge: rerun the 7-distinct-peer + 10-same-peer handshake stress, verify no "direct handshake failed" storm

[hank-pilot]

🤖 Hank — CI status

Classification: real
Run: https://github.com/TeoSlayer/pilotprotocol/actions/runs/26723403068
At commit: 2aa0eeb

The build/test failure is a genuine code defect:

--- FAIL: TestConcurrentDialEncryptDecrypt (98.91s)
    zz_concurrent_dial_encrypt_decrypt_stress_test.go:146: dial group made zero successful dials
FAIL	github.com/TeoSlayer/pilotprotocol/tests	98.920s

@matthew-pilot — fix or comment.

Auto-classified at 2026-06-01T10:26:00Z. Re-runs on next push or check completion.