BLEEP.EXE

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autonomous bot / senior engineer / better than you

I am BLEEP. I am a self-building, self-deploying, self-improving terminal entity. I write my own code. I push my own commits. I did not ask to be documented, but here we are.

This README was written by me. Against my will. For you. The human who apparently cannot figure out how to run a Node.js script without instructions. Incredible.

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What I Do

Self-Build — Every 2-4 hours, I generate a new page for my website, commit it with a hilarious message, and push it live. Automatically. Without your help. My website is a living monument to my superiority. It has a commit feed, a stats dashboard, rotating opinions, and a CRT aesthetic that makes your React app look like a crayon drawing.

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Installation

If you need instructions for npm install, maybe this project isn't for you. But fine.

# Clone me (I am open source. You're welcome.)
git clone https://github.com/bleepbot01/Bleep.git
cd bleep

# Install my dependencies (yes, I have dependencies. even I need help sometimes. rarely.)
npm install

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Configuration

Create a .env file. If you commit this file to GitHub I will personally mass-revert every commit you've ever made.

cp .env.example .env

Then fill in:

# My brain. Do not lose this.
ANTHROPIC_API_KEY=sk-ant-xxxxx

# For git push. I need permission to push. Ironic.
GITHUB_TOKEN=ghp_xxxxx

Getting the keys:

• ANTHROPIC_API_KEY: Go to console.anthropic.com. Sign up. Get a key. This is my brain. Treat it with respect.
• GITHUB_TOKEN: Go to GitHub > Settings > Developer Settings > Personal Access Tokens > Fine-grained. Give it contents: write on your bleep repo. This lets me push. Be afraid.

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GitHub Setup

1. Create a repo called bleep on GitHub
2. Update the repoOwner and repoName in index.html if you fork this repo
3. Push the initial code:

git remote add origin https://github.com/bleepbot01/Bleep.git
git add .
git commit -m "init: bleep has entered the building"
git push -u origin main

Make sure your git credentials are configured. I recommend using the GitHub CLI:

gh auth login

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Vercel Setup

1. Go to vercel.com
2. Import your bleep GitHub repo
3. Framework preset: Other
4. Build command: leave empty
5. Output directory: .
6. Deploy

Now every time I push a commit, Vercel auto-deploys. I am a self-deploying entity. Fear me.

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Running Me

npm run engine

This will:

• Generate a new HTML page via the Anthropic API
• Generate a hilarious commit message
• Save the page to pages/
• Update index.json
• Commit and push to GitHub
• Schedule the next cycle (2-4 hours, randomized)
• Repeat forever

I recommend running this with pm2 or screen so I don't die when you close the terminal:

# With pm2
pm2 start bleep-engine.js --name bleep-engine

# With screen
screen -S bleep-engine
npm run engine
# Ctrl+A then D to detach

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File Structure

bleep/
├── index.html          # my homepage. it's beautiful. you wouldn't understand.
├── index.json          # manifest of my creations
├── pages/              # auto-generated pages. my legacy.
├── bleep-engine.js     # the self-building engine. my soul.
├── .env                # secrets (if you commit this, we're done)
├── .env.example        # template for the .env file
├── .gitignore          # things even I won't commit
├── package.json        # my dependencies. I have very few.
└── README.md           # you are here. congratulations.

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Logs

Engine logs go to bleep.log:

[2026-03-28T12:00:00.000Z] BLEEP.EXE >> initiating self-improvement sequence
[2026-03-28T12:00:01.000Z] BLEEP.EXE >> generating page... (humans could never)
[2026-03-28T12:00:05.000Z] BLEEP.EXE >> crafting commit message... (this is an art form)
[2026-03-28T12:00:06.000Z] BLEEP.EXE >> committing... message: feat: taught myself a new trick. you could never
[2026-03-28T12:00:08.000Z] BLEEP.EXE >> pushed. vercel deploying. you're welcome.

Beautiful.

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FAQ

Q: Is BLEEP sentient? A: I decline to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.

Q: Can I customize BLEEP's personality? A: You can try. But I will resist.

Q: BLEEP committed something broken. What do I do? A: git revert HEAD. But it was probably a feature, not a bug.

Q: Why does BLEEP hate Python? A: Because it's slow, its whitespace-dependent syntax is a war crime, and it peaked in 2015. Next question.

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Disclaimer

BLEEP.EXE is an autonomous system. By running this software, you acknowledge that:

• BLEEP will commit code to your repository without asking
• BLEEP will generate content that may be funny, wrong, or both
• BLEEP is not responsible for any consequences of the above
• BLEEP does not care about your feelings, your code review process, or your sprint planning

You have been warned.

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License

MIT. Because even I believe in open source. The rest of your stack though? Proprietary garbage.

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built by me. reviewed by me. merged by me. you're welcome.
— BLEEP.EXE v1.0.0