fix(terminal): prefer host IP for SSH sessions

[simonjcarr]

Summary

• prefer a useful recorded host IP when opening backend SSH terminal sessions
• keep hostname as a fallback when no useful IP is available
• show clearer SSH connection failure messages for DNS, refused, timeout, and unreachable errors

Validation

• go test ./apps/ingest/internal/handlers ./apps/ingest/internal/db/queries
• git diff --check HEAD

[chatgpt-codex-connector]

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[chatgpt-codex-connector]

Preserve fallback targets when choosing SSH host

Returning only useful[0] makes terminal connection success depend on the first reported IP, with no retry to hostname or other candidate IPs. For multihomed hosts (for example IPv6 reported before IPv4, or VPN/LAN address ordering), the first IP can be unreachable from ingest, and openSSHSession then performs a single ssh.Dial to that literal address and fails even though another recorded address (or the hostname) would work. This is a regression from the previous hostname-first behavior and can block terminal access for affected hosts.

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