MonkeyLines

An HTTP server that delivers Monkey Island sword fighting-style insults with an animated three-headed monkey.

"You code like a dairy farmer!" "How appropriate. You debug like a cow."

What is this?

MonkeyLines is a fun service that generates procedurally created insults and comebacks inspired by The Secret of Monkey Island's iconic sword fighting mechanic. It features an animated pixel-art three-headed monkey web interface and a plain text API endpoint.

Features

• Web Interface - Animated pixel-art three-headed monkey with typewriter speech bubble effect
• Plain Text API - GET /line returns just the text, perfect for scripting
• Message Generator - Thousands of unique combinations of insults and comebacks
• Single Binary - All assets (HTML, images) embedded at compile time
• Security Hardened - CSP headers, server timeouts, safe template rendering

Installation

# Clone the repository
git clone https://github.com/dagoonline/monkeylines.git
cd monkeylines

# Build
go build -o monkeylines .

# Run
./monkeylines

Usage

Start the Server

./monkeylines

The server starts on port 8080 with two endpoints:

• / — Web interface
• /line — Plain text API

Web Interface

Open your browser and navigate to:

http://localhost:8080

Features an animated three-headed monkey from Monkey Island that "talks" the insult via a typewriter effect in a speech bubble. Click "Draw your sword again..." to get a new insult.

Plain Text API

curl http://localhost:8080/line

Returns a single line of text — useful for scripts, bots, or piping into other commands.

Configuration

The port is configurable via environment variable:

Variable	Default	Description
MONKEYLINES_HTTP_PORT	8080	HTTP server port

MONKEYLINES_HTTP_PORT=3000 ./monkeylines

Message Generator

The generator combines:

• 15 insult templates - "You code like a {noun}!"
• 15 comeback templates - "How appropriate. You {verb} like a {noun}."
• 20 insult nouns - dairy farmer, null pointer, spaghetti monster...
• 20 comeback nouns - cow, compiler, garbage collector...
• 18 verbs - debug, compile, refactor, deploy...

This creates thousands of unique message combinations.

Architecture

• Embedded assets - HTML template and images compiled into the binary via go:embed
• Single binary - No external dependencies or runtime files needed
• Image caching - Static assets served with one-week cache headers
• Security headers - CSP, X-Frame-Options, X-Content-Type-Options, Referrer-Policy

Requirements

• Go 1.21+ (for building)
• No external dependencies - uses only Go standard library

Motivation

This project was built as a hands-on test of Claude Opus 4.6 — the entire codebase was written collaboratively with it using Claude Code.

License

Do whatever you want with it. You fight like a cow.

Inspired By

The Secret of Monkey Island (1990) - LucasArts "How appropriate. You fight like a cow."