Add CUDA option to run copy in default stream

[ke1337]

This change fixes #4829. Thanks @maherzog for providing the repro!

The bug is caused by memory reuse in BFC arena, where copy and
compute stream in CUDA has a racing condition.

BFC arena is an arena allocator on top of cudaMalloc/Free to
reduce the cost in syncing CPU and GPU when alloc/free. It means
when CPU alloc/free the memory, GPU might not finished previous
work on the memory, so that CPU and GPU could run asynchronously.

This is OK if there's only one stream, where the execution order
in CPU and GPU are consistent. For example, if we have two kernels
A and B, CPU runs allocA->computeA->freeA->allocB->computeB->freeB,
A and B could shares the same memory since computeA and computeB
will not have racing as long as they run in the same GPU compute
stream.

However, if CPU runs allocA->CopyA->freeA->allocB->computeB->freeB,
the order of execution in GPU could have copyA happen after computeB,
if copy and compute happens in different GPU streams.

This change makes copy to run in default compute stream, while adding
an option to fall back to previous behavior if there's perf hit. This
is a short term fix before BFC arena could support multiple streams.

User may use following options to revert to previous behavior:
C API:
struct OrtCUDAProviderOptions cudaProviderOpt;
cudaProviderOpt.do_copy_in_default_stream = false;
C++ API:
CUDAExecutionProviderInfo cudaEPInfo;
cudaEPInfo.do_copy_in_default_stream = false;
C# API:
pending...
Python:
import onnxruntime
onnxruntime.capi._pybind_state.set_do_copy_in_default_stream(False)

[HectorSVC]