If I ever need to rant more i'll most likely add it here. i just need a safe place to rant that i can easily access.
Sorry if any of this is worded unwell or just hard to read, most of these are done after an emotional event so i cannot think as clearly as i normally would.
my brother (7 yo) is struggling on the daily at my dads house due to my dad not understanding he's clearly autistic and wont give him the help he needs, instead he punishes it and tells him to do chores or some other useless shit thats only making the resentment worse.
then he has the audacity to wonder why me and all of my siblings despise him.
there are many people that deserve their amazing things and the support they've had from people around them but most people around me dont deserve anything they've gained. in particular my dad, he has gone through years of coding just barely passing along as a coder when all he does is generate AI code and delete the comments. he doesn't even bother trying to hide it anymore. he is always talking about some new ai tool or asking if i had made anything with the newest vibe coding apps. i do NOT use ai to code for me and i will probably NEVER. coding is one of my favorite hobbies and i wont let the fun and joy of finding the problems get ruined by using chatgpt. his co workers and bosses think he's a genius when literally anyone can do what he does.
another example of this is some teachers in my district (not naming teachers or district due to privacy), they treat kids like crap, don't even want to be teachers, and arguably worst of all don't understand the content they're teaching people. they are plain dissrespectful and i don't thing anyone "deserves" respect. respect is something that is earned not given. i am not going to ever respect you just for being older than me, that entire ideolegy is fucked and is one of the main reasons this country is kind of screwed right now. (god i sound old)
I honestly can't be asked to go back and edit some more of the previous section so I'm starting a new one. my dad and his girlfriend are constantly using manipulative tactics to get what they want or to make us feel bad. it is very annoying especially since i'm not socially incompetent they'll use stupid shit like acting as if they're the victim. for example at dinner tonight (11/24/25) my dad asked my sister "whats wrong?" and when he didn't get an answer (in like 2-3 seconds) he stormed off into his room yelling "goodnight". yes this actually happened. another thing that happened tonight is my brother tried to grab a glass out of the cabinet and slipped and broke a glass. what is your first reaction here? ask if he's okay? talk to him? ask him what happened? no matter what it is i think it would be better than what my dad decided to do. his gf came storming into the kitchen screaming "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO" at the top of her lungs and when she didn't get an anwswer she stormed off (hmm i see a pattern here) she didn't help him at all. to my dads credit he came in and helped, but immediately after he started yelling at him. if this doesn't describe how terrible they are by now i don't think you can grasp my hatred for these people.
another point i have to make is my dad does NOT care about us in any way shape or form. we have very little access to food (sometimes none) and we get in trouble just for eating. it sucks because whenever i eat i cant get enough or just plain have to struggle with my tastebuds. my dads gf does not know how to cook to make it worse so we end up just having pizza or premade proccessed food 24/7. and i usually wouldnt hate too much of it because well we're in america theres not too much unprocessed food just easily available but when i go back to my moms' house they're broke so my siblings and i just eat all of their food, i feel very guilty for it because its harming my moms extra money that they have to spend on groceries instead of reparing things or treating themselves. "oh he cares about you not having food isn't a huge issue", this statement genuinely pisses me off so fucking much, for one having food is a basic human right that everyone should have, secondly this is half of what is actually happening, i don't want to go into detail as it'll get too emotional.
My dad and his gf are actively looking for reasons to punish my brothers. For example a few days ago (not sure the exact date but today is 4/7/26) my brother was trying to put his shoes on to go outside. She asked "do you have shoes on if you're going outside" my brother replied with "yes" obviously, then this bitch decides to yell at him "why the fuck are you wearing shoes in the house," idk maybe because hes going outside like YOU just said 30 seconds ago???
"oh [insert thing here] or [insert social place here] to go find friends", i have a piece of shit dad who doesnt let me be social (recently he blocked discord and all forms of communication he cant monitor). and my two moms who work their asses off to take care of me i dont want to burden them with asking them to take time out of their day to help me "find friends". even if i did go out and find friends to make they wont last long. my only ever friends have been online and eventually even they get fed up with me. i cannot stand not having friends, it makes me feel terrible having no one to vent too (as you can tell by this whole repo 😭) especially since all i want is someone to talk to and complain to without them comparing their problems to mine.
i despise the current state of the [US] government. the government is complete shit and if you dont agree then you're part of the problem. if our country is so fucking behind that they cant agree on simple terms of basic monetary rights. then we are screwed as the people. if you voted for trump you voted against yourself. every one of trumps policies are targeted towards the top 1% and bring the rich to be richer and poor to be more poor. i dislike the MAGA views on basically every level. kids should have free lunch, abortions should be inallienable rights, i wont even go into the immigration policy... trump has let in more immigrants than any president in history (there are statistics showing this as well)... I live in texas so this is very bad for me and my mental health because theres no one to talk about it, this becomes very apparent during school and everything else.
I am grounded atm (4/27) till 4/30 cause I committed some crimes at school and I'm also in ISS (in school suspension). there's not really much to add other than I am super bored and haven't really been able to talk to any of my friends online or at school because ISS isolated me and I have no PC since my dad took it till my school punishments end. (4/30) Uh my dad lied. I have still not gotten any of my stuff back an he told me he does not know when I'm going to get it back... Idk what else to say I'm just pissed.
i am currently also struggling to find motivation to do my schoolwork and hobbies. this causes most of my coding projects to be incomplete and overall lower quality, this also has an effect on my schoolwork but its less. i really don't know the exact cause nor do i really care i just thought it was kinda important to add to here.
I have been having some auditory and visual hallucinations recently and no one believes me. Not much to put here. I heard my school bell ring multiple times throughout the last couple of days without it actually ringing, it sounds 1:1 just a bit quieter. I've also been seeing things that weren't there. I really dont have an exact example at the moment but uh yh.
I know I have used the word "hate" a lot here but theres no other words to describe it, everything in my life is quite literally falling apart and i just have to stand by and watch. using the word "hate" makes it much easier to convey my point even though i dislike using the word in general.
Thank you for reading through my story and caring about me.