fix(deps): replace very unmaintained resolve with oxc-resolver

[serhalp]

Summary

The resolve package is unmaintained. This replaces it with oxc-resolver, a modern, actively maintained, very fast Rust-based resolver from the oxc project, powering Rolldown and Vite.

• @netlify/build: Use oxc-resolver and convert the file to .ts while I'm here
• @netlify/zip-it-and-ship-it: Use oxc-resolver with symlinks: false to preserve symlink paths, as previously.
• Remove weird fallback to require.resolve() on failures, as oxc-resolver provides good error messages

Note

I created this commit a month ago and forgot about it. I don't remember the status of this 😆. I'm opening this PR to not lose it again.

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[benmccann]

Awesome! If this doesn't work out for any reason, several alternatives listed here: es-tooling/module-replacements#340