make out-of-order non-fatal

[jackyzha0]

Why

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• same as make out of order non fatal + various fixes river#244

What changed

• no longer raise protocol error on out of order and instead close the connection
  • the reasoning is that the client will attempt to re-establish the connection and re-agree on the right seq number and resend the send buffer
  • if theres a disagreement at this stage, we will kill the session but otherwise we can actually transparently recover!

Test plan

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