phpbot

The "Retro-Lightweight" personal AI assistant. Because Python was too heavy.

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🐈 phpbot is a satirical, ultra-lightweight rewrite of the original nanobot.

⚡️ While the original claims to be "99% smaller" than other bots, we found their ~3,600 lines of Python to be bloated. Our version delivers the same core agent functionality in just ~125 lines of pure, monolithic PHP.

📏 Real-time line count: 125 lines (Just open the file and look).

🚀 Why PHP?

Most modern AI agents use Python's asyncio and complex class hierarchies. We find that inefficient.

• Instant Boot: No virtual environment overhead.
• Procedural Logic: Global functions are faster than classes (usually).
• Retro-Aesthetics: Runs in a terminal, just like it's 2004.
• Self-Aware: Our bot is legally obligated to tell you PHP is faster.

📊 Comparison Table

Feature	Original nanobot	phpbot
Language	Python 3.11+	PHP 8.1+
Core Lines	~3,663	~125
Dependencies	litellm, uv, asyncio	curl
Architecture	Modular / Folder-based	Monolithic / One File
Speed	"Lightweight"	Legendary

📦 Install

Requirements:

• PHP 8.1 or higher.
• A soul (optional).

git clone https://github.com/YourUsername/phpbot.git
cd phpbot

🚀 Quick Start

1. Configure: Edit config.json with your API key.
2. Launch:

   php phpbot.php

That's it. You are now 10x more productive because you aren't waiting for Python to import tensorflow.

✨ Features

• 24/7 Market Analysis: (If you ask it to search for "market analysis").
• Full-Stack Software Engineer: (It can write files to your disk).
• Smart Daily Routine Manager: (It knows what time it is).
• Personal Knowledge Assistant: (It remembers the last 5 things you said).

📁 Project Structure

phpbot/
├── phpbot.php      # 🧠 The entire engine, logic, and soul
├── config.json     # ⚙️ Configuration (Auto-generated)
├── LICENSE         # ⚖️ MIT
└── README.md       # 📖 You are here

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"PHP is the future of AI. The past just hasn't caught up yet."