branch-4.1: [enhance](memtable) support adaptive write buffer size

[sollhui]

pick #56948 #62104

[hello-stephen]

Thank you for your contribution to Apache Doris.
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Please clearly describe your PR:

1. What problem was fixed (it's best to include specific error reporting information). How it was fixed.
2. Which behaviors were modified. What was the previous behavior, what is it now, why was it modified, and what possible impacts might there be.
3. What features were added. Why was this function added?
4. Which code was refactored and why was this part of the code refactored?
5. Which functions were optimized and what is the difference before and after the optimization?

[sollhui]

run buildall

[hello-stephen]

BE Regression && UT Coverage Report

Increment line coverage 54.29% (19/35) 🎉

Increment coverage report
Complete coverage report

Category	Coverage
Function Coverage	73.27% (26915/36732)
Line Coverage	56.68% (289510/510753)
Region Coverage	54.06% (241349/446452)
Branch Coverage	55.79% (104854/187957)